Crila16 Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 Ok. So I've met this really great guy, who has been really nice to me. I like him a lot. We've only been on 5 dates and we seem to have fun and get along really well together (We also haven't had sex)...but we are so attracted to each other, we can't keep our hands off each other and are constantly making out, holding hands...that kind of stuff. Anyway, he's divorced with a kid. He's been divorced for about 5 years. Right after his divorce, he started dating a girl who was 23 (he was 35 or 36 at the time...which personally is a huge age difference to me). He fell in love with her. After 1-1/2 years, he broke up with her, because he realized she couldn't handle that he had a daughter and she didn't like that the daughter always came first. I thought...ok...that's past history. That was 3 years ago. Well, come to find out last night, he talks to her everyday still. She's one of his best friends. He's 40, she's 26 or 27 now. It's one of his best friend's little sisters and he's known her since she was in diapers. He said "As a matter of fact, I just spoke to her earlier today."...as he was telling me the story. I got a little upset, and he said "you're not jealous?" I so No...just guarded. Why is she still in your life? He said, she will always be. I'm not in love with her anymore, but she's one of my best friends now. I'm sorry...but do I have a right to be upset? I don't know what to do. I really don't need to be getting involved with someone who is still close friends with a girl he used to love. This is dangerous to me. I'm terrified I'll fall for this guy and he'll end up getting back with her one day. I appreciate his honestly, but I don't think I could handle it if one day he realizes "OMG...I'm in love with her." If she's his best friend, I can't compete with that if I end up being his girlfriend. I also don't want to end up as a crazy girlfriend, always worried and wondering. He already has told me he's looking for a serious relationship that leads to marriage, and he wants to make sure that I'm on the same page as him and that he feels that we have something amazing starting...but I'm seriously scared.
Pasttense Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 It's been three years. If someone is going to get back together with an ex, the high probability is that it is going to be a lot sooner than that. 1
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 You have every right to feel that way. I know I wouldn't like it. I would have no problem ending things right there and then due to the situation. He made it clear it won't change, and if you aren't ok with it now, I doubt you will be ok with it later.
veggirl Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 I would never date a guy who is "best friends" with an ex, no matter what the circumstances. Not to mention, knowing her since she was in diapers then dating her is weird. How can you look at someone you've known since she was a baby and you were a teenager sexually? Ew. 1
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