warrenorabbits Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 I used to be a super-"nice" guy that above all didn't want to seem like a perv and didn't want to ask the girl anything that she might not immediately be 100% up for. And rejection -- god help me if I ever got a negative response to anything. I was very, very safe. However, I'm now working on putting on a different front while still being true to myself. Case in point, I'm taking a phys ed course at the local college and I'm trying to get this girl in my class. She seems to be trying to get my attention, so I see a nice, clear path. I tried to reduce smiling while remaining pleasant as a first step to looking more confident. Then I asked for her number and got it (although she shrouded it in "yeah, we should call each other if we need help on the worksheets"). I resisted the temptation to text her a lot, only sending her one or two -- and letting my sense of humour come out. Tomorrow I'm going to sit right next to her and strike up a conversation, but be cool about it -- not frantically trying to come up with awkward topics like I might have been before, instead being okay with silence (especially since we're in class). Then ask her matter-of-factly, at the end of class, if she wants to meet up later -- after bringing up a cinema/restaurant that I like. I know that this description reeks of thinking too hard but sometimes you have to think to break up old habits. Is there anything I should add or subtract? Even though I know I'm getting better at putting myself out there, the old me that's afraid of rejection and occasionally awkward in "risky" situations still comes out at times.
Author warrenorabbits Posted July 17, 2012 Author Posted July 17, 2012 Seriously? Nothing? I think this is a good, potent question.
january2011 Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 You've thought it through. Now just go for it. Good luck! With regard to rejection, unfortunately, it's a big part of life for many people. You get used to it. As long as you get most of what you want and need in life (hindsight is 20/20), a little bit of rejection now and again helps to make it all balanced. And being able to recover quickly is a very useful skill to have, in my opinion.
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