slu22 Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 A few months ago, my ex-girlfriend came back into my life. She broke up with me a couple of years ago, much to my surprise, and left me devastated. At the time, she said things were just too complicated. We both have children from prior relationships and we lived in different cities. In my mind, the logistical issues were easy to deal with because I loved her so much and I thought she felt the same way. We'd been talking about marriage and her family really liked me. After we broke up, we stayed in contact for 3 or 4 months, but I eventually cut everything off because it was too difficult for me. For the next year and a half or so, I saw her from time to time because we worked in the same industry. Strangely, she seemed to be upset with me as if I'd done something wrong. Through the grapevine, I heard that she was dating. She recently moved to my city and started coming to my office just to visit. The first visit was emotional. She said that she still has "feelings" for me, but I didn't ask her what those feelings are because I'm not sure I want to go there. She continues to visit me, we have a great time talking and laughing about the past. Her body language seems to suggest that the attraction is still there. We were physically and emotionally in sync. BUT I AM TERRIFIED of asking her whether she loves me. Hell, I'm terrified of asking her out for a cup of coffee for fear that she says no. In fact, her birthday is next week and I am struggling to decide whether to send her a card or give her a gift. In a way, I am excited, but I don't know how to handle all of this. I am normally confident both personally and professionally, but there is a certain uncertainty that comes from being rejected once before. Your thoughts and advice are appreciated. If you need any additional information, just let me know. SLU
Telaroca Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Just go for it..you never know but test her,observe her to know if she is really sincere..take it slow...
jmjacobs31 Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 Dont ask her if she loves you. If a guy asked me that it would scare me away. Since her birthday is coming up that's a good excuse to take her out. Start simple. Ask her out for ice cream or dinner or something. Dont put any pressure on her and take things slow.
Lone Blue Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 Her birthday coming up is the perfect excuse to actually talk to her. I would send her a card, maybe even ask her to go out for coffee or ice cream. Don't bring up the L word though. Try to gauge her reactions, and effectively, take things slow. Here's hoping things work out for you two. xoxo
Orianne Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 I would be somewhat reserved and let her come to you. At this stage, she is likely trying to see how you've changed in the last few years and is probably not ready for any sort of commitment. Think of this as a brand new relationship and go from there.
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