Marie90 Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 (edited) No, this isn't my first bf but 4th. It's really always my mother who introduces herself, brings soda and sometimes will even cooks more. She's like that in general with my friends, past exes and my current bf. However, my father doesn't like frequent visits and prefers me to go outside (unless it's my best female friends from childhood Sasha and Claudia... the only ones he seems to be very friendly with). But damn, I wish they would talk one day. He has never said anything good nor bad about my past exes nor bf but rather acts indifferent. For instance last week: Again my mother got into long talks with him and cook again while my father locked himself in his room watching sports. He either does that or simply goes out before my bf gets to my house. What will it take him to like a bf and come around? My mother tried talking him into it but he refused and say ''You talk to him, I'll be out''. Is it always gonna be that way? Him being indifferent towards any bf I may bring? Edited July 17, 2012 by Marie90
Author Marie90 Posted July 17, 2012 Author Posted July 17, 2012 In addition, my bf has already asked me when he will meet my father or if he likes him (don't know, as he ever told me he's bad news but neither does he say good things). I just end up telling he dad is always busy and doesn't have time but one day they will meet each other (hopefully). It's already been 2 years since we're dating and I've met both of his parents, whom like me.
Eddie Edirol Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 Maybe your father seen that your other relationships didnt work out, and he is waiting till this one shows staying power of at least 5 years. I know I dont like getting to know people who could disappear at any time. 1
Author Marie90 Posted July 17, 2012 Author Posted July 17, 2012 Maybe your father seen that your other relationships didnt work out, and he is waiting till this one shows staying power of at least 5 years. I know I dont like getting to know people who could disappear at any time.But he's been like this with my first bf too. The guy could be good, hard worker and even have a degree and it's like nothing will ever be good enough for him. He would still act like he doesn't care about the guy. Everytime an ex used to call my house, if my father answered he would just tell him ''She's not available, call on her cell #'' and hang up quickly.
Ninjainpajamas Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 He's probably just more uncomfortable or unaware on how to handle that dynamic. Maybe he finds it a weird situation to speak to the guys who are dating you, maybe he isn't the kind of man that is open and feels awkward communicating with him and just uncomfortable with the idea. Is your communication with your father good? probably not, therefore It's likely not apart of his personality. Is he sociable with everyone or just people he knows? Does he respect young men? Does he feels like they have a good agenda or does he disagree with the men you choose to date? A lot of fathers act distant because they don't know how to engage and approach certain situations/conversation so they instead avoid the situation altogether and shut it down...and if they are faced with the situation they're just brief, cut and dry. You should probably sit down with your father and express how you feel, he may not have much to say or respond back to you...maybe he will say something...tell him how'd you feel It's important to have his support or opinion on who you are dating or his acceptance on that because you do try and select men he'd approve of (If you do). He may react or give you the fantasy feedback or response you've always hoped for, change always comes in small doses and usually has it's share of rough spots, sometimes doesn't change depending on the person and age If they're set in their ways already...but he will think about it, he will have heard it, and at least you got it off your chest and made the effort...just try and give him a chance, I know a lot of men especially in my family that can't do anything that makes them feel very weak or vulnerable, they kind of hide from things which is partly why I've become so expressive not wanting to end up with relationships like theirs, and people thinking they never cared or thought.
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