chiapet Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 (edited) (Sorry for being long but any insight would be grateful) I've been in a long distance relationship for almost 1 year now. We've been together for almost 2yrs though. He was a foreign exchange student for 1 yr where I met him and we were just casually 'seeing' each other as we knew he would go home eventually and there would be no reasonable future for us. When the year ended however and he went back home, we decided to carry on seeing each other because we realized how much we still liked each other. Eventually we fell in love but as I started planning for my trip to go to see him this August I suddenly felt like I needed to break up with him and that this didn't feel right. It's been since April that I've had these feelings, it's like a pit in my stomach where negativity flows out telling me all the reasons why I shouldn't be with him and it's not like I can even control it mentally, my stomach just feels like there is a constant pit. I wake up every morning sometimes feeling awful and even when we skype the feeling in the pit of my stomach still sits there, acting as a reminder. I don't understand where this pit in my stomach is coming from. When I started planning/booking tickets for my trip over was when this all sprang up. I have been on the verge of breaking up with him many of times and he has been nothing but wonderful. He knows what's going on. I've told him everything and instead of using this as an excuse to run away he says I won't lose him and he's staying put. Almost everyday I just feel terrible. I feel like I fell out of love with him in a span of 1 week and now it's been worsening for the last 3 months. I question if I find him attractive, I question if I love him, I'm so scared of seeing him, I'm so desperately scared of this pit in my stomach haunting me for the entire time when we are finally together in August . Now, I always entertain the idea of being single as I've never had that period in my life between breakups where I learn to love myself and just be happy with myself instead of having a partner to rely on. I start to question maybe he became a rebound that evolved into something more serious when I had no real intention of it to. I had pursued him first and all during our first year together it was me doting on him and he was quite intent on just having some fun as the foreign exchange student with all these North American girls. I was always trying to convince him to commit and getting severely hurt along the way. Now that the relationship has become long distance and he has finally committed, the scales have been tipped the other way. It's quite clear he loves me way more than I love him right now... If I still even do love him??? Shouldn't I be happy this is exactly where I wanted him to be emotionally? 100% invested in me.. but instead I'm thinking about ending this?! When we do seriously talk about ending it though a bigger pit in my stomach forms and engulfs the previous constant one as I can't imagine the next few years without him. We've even talked about finishing school and what our plans were for finding a place to live together whether it be Europe or North America. We have 2 more years to go however before we can even consider being on the same continent. Please, I would love some insight as to how someone can just 'fall out of love' in less than a week. This physical nauseousness coming with thinking about him never seems to go away until I think about breaking up or going on a break with him. Do I only see him as a friend now?... Edited July 17, 2012 by chiapet
redkangaroo Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 From my experience you can fall out of love easilly, that's what my on/off gf of almost four years experiences making me feel insane. Now we are talking, and she insists she is single, I got no proof for it and I even don't want to know to be honest. We live at different continents as well. So when we talk she looses interest in some weeks and writes less and less, I become fed up with that sort of communication and go no contact. After a few weeks of NC, four weeks was maximum at the moment, she can't live without me, can't work because I am the only thing she can think a out, she dies and thinks that I am the best person in the world. She tries to reach me then by every possible way of communication, email, skype, fake profiles in facebook, phone, asks my friends tell me she misses me etc. When I finally let her talk to me, because I miss her too, everything goes at the same scenario. I guess she has no idea what she wants, perhaps so do you. That's why I presume you can fall out of love easilly.
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