Priv80 Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 Hello all, I'm 31, and I am thinking about becoming exclusive with a 19 year old woman. I met her when she was 16 turning 17, and back then I was very close to her family. Anyway, we started talking and going out when she was 18, and became close, and now I want her to by my girlfriend. There are a few issues that are holding me back from telling her. One, her family(who I use to be close with) now hates me for taking her out. They believe I am going to take advantage of her. Two, she can be very immature. She does have her mature moments, but it feels forced. Almost as if she is trying to impress me by acting "mature." But, her immature moments can be nails on the chalkboard. She has a poster of a boy-band on her bedroom wall for Christ sakes, even forced me to go to one of their concerts. I feel like a fossil doing the stuff she loves and she feels uncomfortable because she can't do simple things like go to a bar with me and my friends. But, I really like this girl, she is something special. I would hate to tell her we can't see each other anymore, since I'm also the one that took her virginity a few months ago. She would be devastated, but at the same time I'm not sure if this is going to last long. Advice?
Author Priv80 Posted July 17, 2012 Author Posted July 17, 2012 I happen to be a connoisseur of young women but at 32 I'd never date one long term. At 19 though she sounds a little less mature than average with the whole boyband thing. Boybands are pretty popular with college girls where I live. Nonetheless, dating a girl her age long-term has its perks. She is more submissive, liberal, and lively. I can't stop thinking about the cons of it.
ascendotum Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 Boybands are pretty popular with college girls where I live. Nonetheless, dating a girl her age long-term has its perks. She is more submissive, liberal, and lively. I can't stop thinking about the cons of it. She probably put that boy band poster up when she was 17 and its still there. She's still a teenager and tons of them are gushing over boy bands. Not everyone is at the same maturity level at the same age. Its up to you if the cons outweigh the pros. You shouldn't have to force a connection. Ideally it should be easy enough to find a girl a bit older who can be herself around you without having to put on a mature act, and also from your perspective a girl with no 'cons'. As for feeling like a fossil doing the stuff she loves....that's what comes with the territory if you date a 'junior'. Weigh it up or suck it up What were her thoughts as regards your intentions when she had sex with you...just a nice older guy to lose her virginity to, or you were going to be her bf?
mesmerized Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 ok listen, the probability of it going to work is very very low. And even if you guys stay together I can almost guarantee you that she will cheat on you at some point. Why do I say this? Cause I see cases of this happening all the time. Women who only were with one man all their lives and around mid-late twenties went crazy on cheating and wanting other men. Not to mention that you have to raise her in a way as well.
Author Priv80 Posted July 17, 2012 Author Posted July 17, 2012 She probably put that boy band poster up when she was 17 and its still there. She's still a teenager and tons of them are gushing over boy bands. Not everyone is at the same maturity level at the same age. Its up to you if the cons outweigh the pros. You shouldn't have to force a connection. Ideally it should be easy enough to find a girl a bit older who can be herself around you without having to put on a mature act, and also from your perspective a girl with no 'cons'. As for feeling like a fossil doing the stuff she loves....that's what comes with the territory if you date a 'junior'. Weigh it up or suck it up What were her thoughts as regards your intentions when she had sex with you...just a nice older guy to lose her virginity to, or you were going to be her bf? , Yeah, there could be a strong possibility as to why its up. Her acting mature is her con. I havent witness any other negative side to her. She lost her virginity to me because she "loved" me and she did think I was going to be her bf soon.
Author Priv80 Posted July 17, 2012 Author Posted July 17, 2012 ok listen, the probability of it going to work is very very low. And even if you guys stay together I can almost guarantee you that she will cheat on you at some point. Why do I say this? Cause I see cases of this happening all the time. Women who only were with one man all their lives and around mid-late twenties went crazy on cheating and wanting other men. Not to mention that you have to raise her in a way as well. Shes not the type of person that would dare to cheat on me. And raise her? Shes an adult, she may need to mature, but shes not a child
Radu Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 It's not going to last, don't make any plans. I've met some truly mature 19-20yr olds, but they are like that because something drives them. I saw some of them, and what they do is something that fits into the grand scheme of things for them. Like, to have a career or a big desire to have a family because she didn't have one growing up, or a big desire to have her own business, or a shortened childhood that made them mature fast, and sometimes just having some damn fine parents who set the right example she wishes to emulate. Your gf is probably not one of these ppl, and you two are from different ages and mentalities because you are at different points in your lives. Don't feel bad, it would have been the same even if you were 'just' 25. PS: A girl i knew in HS was mad about nsync, she is now a full time career woman [30], with a good job ... who still listens to them and still has the collectibales ... no posters though.
Negative Nancy Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 Women who only were with one man all their lives and around mid-late twenties went crazy on cheating So what, for most men this comes in handy and convenient anyway because in her mid to late 20s she is already too old for them anyway and they would have soon replaced her with a fresh stream of young 19 year olds. So the "old" girlfriend cheating on them is actually the perfect set up for the men to give her the boot. Win win.
Author Priv80 Posted July 17, 2012 Author Posted July 17, 2012 It's not going to last, don't make any plans. I've met some truly mature 19-20yr olds, but they are like that because something drives them. I saw some of them, and what they do is something that fits into the grand scheme of things for them. Like, to have a career or a big desire to have a family because she didn't have one growing up, or a big desire to have her own business, or a shortened childhood that made them mature fast, and sometimes just having some damn fine parents who set the right example she wishes to emulate. Your gf is probably not one of these ppl, and you two are from different ages and mentalities because you are at different points in your lives. Don't feel bad, it would have been the same even if you were 'just' 25. PS: A girl i knew in HS was mad about nsync, she is now a full time career woman [30], with a good job ... who still listens to them and still has the collectibales ... no posters though. I see. This girl doesn't really have anything driving her yet. She is spoiled by her parents. They have her set so she doesn't have to work a day in her life. I don't think she even understands hardship.The worst she experience in life is not getting into the college she wants, which is cute, but her innocence gets tough to deal with, and I don't want to take advantage of it. I remember when I was her age it took me 10 years to mature. I don't mind her listening to her the wanted or the direction(I'm not sure if I got these names right), but the poster is creeping me out. Lol
Author Priv80 Posted July 17, 2012 Author Posted July 17, 2012 leave her alone. I'm not bothering or hurting her...
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