willow_springs Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 Hey everyone.. My name is Willow and im 30 years old. I have been dating my boyfriend who is 25, for 3 years now. Going to try to make this as short as possible, and to be honest as possible, but His boyfriend and mother completely hate me. Everything was great in the beginning until I noticed the brother slowly getting in the middle of us, telling me how to act, to call the mother, that i'm not right for not speaking to the mom as much. (I am naturally a shy person, but I did eventually o pen up to her. ) By the end of the year, my boyfriend, was texting an ex. I'm not sure if he cheated, but the ex sent me pics of my boyfriend calling her constantly. He never admitted to it and went as far as telling his mother (who despises his ex.) she wrote me a nasty email, until he admitted to me he did speak with his ex (not sure if they had sex) needless to say, we moved on. HE told his mom. and everything was okay. CUT TO: dec 2011. I found escort numbers on my boyfriends phone. Again, we moved on. I am stupid, yes, I know this. We took a break and he came back full force but during this his brother AGAIN said i wasn't visiting his mother and that I was a low life (I have been laid off for 2 years and helping my mother who suffers from severe depression) and degraded me. My bf talked about it to him, and I thought everything was okay again but planned a trip to vegas. I was originally supposed to go but couldn't afford it. He is in vegas as I type this, and I had problems with it because we are trying to build that trust back. Apparently, he told his brother, and his brother thinks I pick, and nag at everything, and sent me a nasty email today when my boyfriend DRUNKENLY and OPENLY lashed out on me on facebook. He was tired of feeling guilty of having a vacation in vegas. It was there where all his friends and both his mother and brother can see. but what his brother and mother dont know is that he had called escorts MONTHS ago. His brother degraded me yet again, and I kept on trying to reconcile with him but he said he never wants to. My bf is upset that his trip is now ruined because all the drama here, but will apparently "work it out" when he gets back. my question is.... where do I go from here? He has been refusing to talk about it over there, and he comes back wednesday, but I feel that this is broken. I love him dearly, and I know he's made mistakes. Aside from that , he is a good person, and to be honest, I'm not perfect either. (I've never cheated on him though.) I do nag at times, but for valid reason. Do I stay? Do I leave? Do I just work my way back into that family? I want to work it out with my bf, but I can't if his family is in the way. What do do? sorry this is so long! so much for making this short : /
samsungxoxo Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 From what I just read, it sure doesn't seem like a healthful and normal relationships. Too much stressors are added to it such as: 1) Your bf shows lack of maturity (seems like he wants to play the fields and doesn't know what he wants yet) 2) Your bf is disrespecting you because if it gets to the point that he is secretly calling out random women and you're not even sure if he cheated then it's not worth it. 3) You have family issues and currently can't work yet. 4) On top of that your bf's mother and brother hates you. Most of the times if a man or woman's mother hates you then it means trouble for you since that's an important member in the family. 5) If you have to go all your way of proving the mother and brother that you're a good person then it's not worth your time. What happens if you actually prove them wrong, they were to apologize but then you accidentally do something they don't like? They will then rivert back to their old ways again and then you would have to start all over yet again. Is that really worth your time??? Conclusion: I don't see any future nor anything great in your current relationship.
Author willow_springs Posted July 17, 2012 Author Posted July 17, 2012 (edited) Thank you guys. I have tried to see the family. His grandmother adores me, what is funny is, i've been seeing his grandmother in the hospital every weekend and rekindled a friendship with his mother for that, but his brother, says otherwise. I'm not sure what to believe at this point. If his mother DOES like me, or is OKAY with me, or if the brother is just SAYING that. He gave me an ultimatum through emails, saying if I want to ever make peace with him, I either treat my bf right (which i do, I just complain a lot. sometimes irrelevant things in other peoples eyes, but its valid between us.) , or to leave his life "for good". I don't feel like the brother should win. My boyfriend apologized for writing what he did on facebook, but could not delete it because of a problem with his phone at the hotel. So it was left there, for everyone to see. There are good times with him. LATELY, more *bad outweigh the *good, but I felt it can be worked out. We both agreed on it, but I'm just scared. I do want to leave, but something is telling me to stay. He is not an entirely bad person, just his brother.. If i chose to stay, could we get through this if worked on it together? or is it just a lost cause regardless of how hard we try? We both don't want to end it. *He has said numerous times about why he was going back to school-to make a life for us. He has said he wants a life with me. I want that with him as well. If possible. Edited July 17, 2012 by willow_springs
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