The Tallest One Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 How much hurt, rejection, cheating, verbal or physical abuse will we endure before we realize that we deserve better, so much better! Why do we settle? Why when we're dumped do we think that our last gf or bf was our last chance at happiness. If your with someone who says they need space, then get rid of them. When they say there confused, get rid of them. If they don't show you respect, or listen to what you have to say, then be on your way! I think there are millions of people like me, and you, that put up with so much crap. We endure verbal abuse, selfishness, long bouts of time between our gf or bf sees us cause there too busy with doing stuff they want and don't seem to miss us as much as we miss them. They dump us, go weeks or months NC, say it's over, say leave them alone, and then out of nowhere they text us or email us saying they were just thinking of us but this only gives us false and prolongs our healing. When will we begin to put our own needs first? When will we develope healthier self esteem and be more comfortable in our own skin. When do we begin to love ourselves more than anyone else does? Life is too short to settle for less than what we deserve. There is someone out there for all of us that is a better match who will love and except us for us and not try and change us. Belive in yourself, trust that God has a better plan for us then anything we could plan for ourselves. Stop beating yourself up for all you did or didn't do in your last relationship and stop blaming yourself and thinking that everything was your fault. Noone is perfect, we're all just people, noone should be placed on a pedestal. Stop living in the past chasing ghosts and memories and move forward in life! We all deserve love, respect, and to be happy in life! 4
k100danny Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 This is true we do all deserve this. some of us put up with a lot of stuff but we have to remember we allow this to happen. Im not blaming us for these things, just think of it as how we work and love ourselves for it. I put up with HUGE amounts of jealousy, being made to feel guilty, down right verbal abuse and I STILL did everything I could for this person. Now I could blame them fully for this but the thing is that I could have walked away but I didn't. This isn't as much about love either and can be very much down to our attachement styles, if you don't know much about adult attachment n romantic relationships I would suggest having a read it is really quite interesting. anxiously attached individuals tend to stay in unhappy relationships for a longer peroid of time, securely attached people will not fear being alone and will tend to walk away if they are not happy. Dissmissive or avoidant people tend to push people away, not because they want to but because it is a kind of defense mechanism. There are many things anxiously attached individuals can do to improve themselves don't put all of your eggs in one basket, date a few people and truly see who is a good match for you. find someone with a secure attachment style who meets your needs, this is one of the best ways to settle down your anxious style if you have one. Be careful though as securely attached individuals tend to not be single for long and have long lasting relationships this is why you often find some people go through a lot of relationships Keep your own socialising up and do things that will improve the view of yourself in your own eyes such as going to the gym, working out, keeping active and busy and finding some hobbies. If someone can't meet your needs it often makes you have a sense of anxiety which can mimic feelings of love and keep you attached to the wrong person, hoping for those little moments when you feel loved. I'm not lecturing anyone just trying to pass knowledge on i have gained that i think has helped me more in this break up, I learnt a lot about this through books after my last messy break up.
Brokendude Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 Thank u for these posts theyre so tru and helpful, we let our exes do these coz were human and love is always a risk, unfortunately for us, we lost this time, hope we get it right w our next one!
Thisisbs Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 How much hurt, rejection, cheating, verbal or physical abuse will we endure before we realize that we deserve better, so much better! Why do we settle? Why when we're dumped do we think that our last gf or bf was our last chance at happiness. If your with someone who says they need space, then get rid of them. When they say there confused, get rid of them. If they don't show you respect, or listen to what you have to say, then be on your way! I think there are millions of people like me, and you, that put up with so much crap. We endure verbal abuse, selfishness, long bouts of time between our gf or bf sees us cause there too busy with doing stuff they want and don't seem to miss us as much as we miss them. They dump us, go weeks or months NC, say it's over, say leave them alone, and then out of nowhere they text us or email us saying they were just thinking of us but this only gives us false and prolongs our healing. When will we begin to put our own needs first? When will we develope healthier self esteem and be more comfortable in our own skin. When do we begin to love ourselves more than anyone else does? Life is too short to settle for less than what we deserve. There is someone out there for all of us that is a better match who will love and except us for us and not try and change us. Belive in yourself, trust that God has a better plan for us then anything we could plan for ourselves. Stop beating yourself up for all you did or didn't do in your last relationship and stop blaming yourself and thinking that everything was your fault. Noone is perfect, we're all just people, noone should be placed on a pedestal. Stop living in the past chasing ghosts and memories and move forward in life! We all deserve love, respect, and to be happy in life! I got chills bro, Thank you for this.
hk_1 Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 Thoughts nicely presented. We certainly shouldn't over commit ourselves in love or anything else. That's what I learnt from my first love. We all see things differently but largely we do one of the two things after we are confronted by a challenge, to fight or flight, the one who believes in fighting usually is the dumped one in the end . Hey but this approach is the right one in almost all the situations in life isn't it? Never let anyone see your sincerity as your weakness. 1
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