Immissme Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Hi sorry if this is long just need some advice not sure how to act on my situation. Im dating a guy for two months and for the most part he is treating me good. Were not officially bf/gf but we agreed not to see especially not to have sex with other people. He's a busy guy but still able to make time to see me on a regular basis weekend and weekday. I saw him last night and this morning for some reason I didn't know why, I snooped. I found a text message from a girl saying she had a great time hanging out with him and that he was good in bed and he sent her a text saying that the girl was a cool chick and not bad in bed either. Text was sent last weekend. I was with him this weekend.I found some text messages also sent and received from a different girl saying I miss you and can't stop thinking about you, asking her to hang out sent last weekend of June but we ended up spending that weekend together. After seeing the texts, I asked him about if he's having sex with someone else and he replied by saying no and what made me think that he's having sex with another girl..i asked him if he had sex with someone last week? The week before? He said no which was a lie cause the text i read clearly said that he did. I didn't tell him I snooped while he was in the shower. I told him I know that he did and if he can just tell me the truth. When I asked him if I can see his phone, he said he will let me see his phone if I let him see mine which I agreed but he said no I'm not going to show you my phone. He didnt show me his phone. I grabbed my stuff and left. He followed me and kissed me on my lips and said that I'm accussing him of something that's not true and he respects me more than I know. I know I have to end what we have but how will I tell him that I know for sure he had sex with another girl? I don't want to say that I snooped cause I know snooping is a bad thing. Ive never thought about checking his phone before but this time something made me curious to check it. His phone also has passcode which I was able to unlock. Thanks for everyone who will reply.
YellowShark Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 No need to tell him you snooped. Doesn't make a difference now anyways. It's over because you've proven to yourself that he is sleeping with at least 2 other women.. and lied to your face about it. Obviously his words don't match his actions. Hit the next button Immissme. Game over. 1
oaks Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 I know I have to end what we have but how will I tell him that I know for sure he had sex with another girl? Tell him you know and that he should change the passcode on his phone. Then delete his number and don't contact him again. (yes, snooping is wrong, so he can be mad at you if he likes...)
veggirl Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Just quit seeing him. Why do you have to tell him anything? Just say "it's not going to work, sorry" and go your own way. I don't get why you want him to know you snooped. Telling him that will just cause him to try to justify the texts, he will tell you lies and you will fall for them. It's best just to walk away without mentioning the other girls. 1
YellowShark Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Tell him you know and that he should change the passcode on his phone. Then delete his number and don't contact him again. (yes, snooping is wrong, so he can be mad at you if he likes...) The only reason I wouldn't mention the phone is it's irrelevant and petty after-the-fact. Doesn't matter. Better to dust him off and let him wonder WTF. It'll kill him since he such a player. I mean really, how dare this girl dump me without an explanation!
Author Immissme Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 The only reason I wouldn't mention the phone is it's irrelevant and petty after-the-fact. Doesn't matter. Better to dust him off and let him wonder WTF. It'll kill him since he such a player. I mean really, how dare this girl dump me without an explanation! I already told him that I know he slept with someone so if I ended seeing him he knew that that's the reason why. He said I was accusing him of something he didn't do. All I could tell him was " I know you slept with someone". I can't say how I found out. And he would say I'm being unreasonable for ending it with nothing to back up my accusation. I'm so mad at him for deceiving me and breaking my trust.
2sunny Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 He lies! No need to communicate with that liar for one more second! Get tested for stds pronto!!!
YellowShark Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 And he would say I'm being unreasonable for ending it with nothing to back up my accusation. No need to back up your accusation. That's the best part. You *know* and that's the bottom line. End of story. And it's ok to be mad, just don't be mad for long. ok?
Author Immissme Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 No need to back up your accusation. That's the best part. You *know* and that's the bottom line. End of story. And it's ok to be mad, just don't be mad for long. ok? How about being sad? Is that ok? I know I will miss him but I made a decision not to stay with him. We had so many happy times together. It's a short relationship but we had so much fun together.
phineas Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 i already told him that i know he slept with someone so if i ended seeing him he knew that that's the reason why. He said i was accusing him of something he didn't do. All i could tell him was " i know you slept with someone". I can't say how i found out. And he would say i'm being unreasonable for ending it with nothing to back up my accusation. I'm so mad at him for deceiving me and breaking my trust. if?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
2sunny Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 How about being sad? Is that ok? I know I will miss him but I made a decision not to stay with him. We had so many happy times together. It's a short relationship but we had so much fun together. That's because he was getting all his needs filled with a variety of women!
ScienceGal Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 He slept with her, and likely others. There is nothing to wonder about. He is a liar and you need to leave now, or you'll be in for a world of hurt. You don't owe him any explanation, just go.
Ami1uwant Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 How about being sad? Is that ok? I know I will miss him but I made a decision not to stay with him. We had so many happy times together. It's a short relationship but we had so much fun together. If you were smarter....you should have gotten these women numbers and called them on your own phone blowing his game with all 3.
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