hawaii_red Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Hi everybody, So I met my now ex girlfriend 7 months ago. She's from Argentina, and I'm from the US, and we met in Canada, where we live. Before moving to Canada, she was in an unhappy relationship, and finally broke out, much to the delight of all her friends and family. She moved to Canada within a few weeks to 'find herself' for a year, and met me pretty much straight away. We fell insanely in love. Everything was perfect, and we were planning our life together. Now, she is moving back to Argentina, and the plan was for me to move there also a few months after her, as i speak Spanish and enjoy this part of the world anyway. (I was moving to South America anyway to perfect my Spanish, I just hadn't decided on which country) I cannot stress how amazing our relationship was. We both knew we were the ones for eachother, but she always had a feeling that it was too soon. This feeling eventually became too much. After taking a break for a week while she made up her mind, she told me that we have to break up, as she is not yet ready for a relationship, and that she knows if she hides this from me, it isn't fair. She told me she loves me more than she will ever love anyone, and that I am the most amazing person she has ever met, but she still needs to find herself and be alone for a while. Everything we told eachother remains the truth. She meant it when she said I am the only man for her. She meant it when she said she wants me as her future. She told me she will not meet anyone else, but told me if I meet somebody, not to hold back (she also said this was something she found really difficult to say) I understand this, as she met me not long after breaking up with her ex, and maybe it was all too soon. She knows I will still move to Argentina, and she was really happy to hear this - she told me that she wants to stay in my life. What stood out for me, in a letter that she wrote, she told me that I am in her heart, but now isn't the moment for her to give it to me. Does this mean one day, there will be a right moment? Do i give her, say 6-12 months with minimal contact and then try again when we are in Argentina? She knows we will live in the same city and she said this is something that she wants. Or will she begin to forget? Thank you in advance for any advice
Chi townD Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Dude, you were a rebound. I hate it when a guy or girl breaks it off with the STUPID excuse; to find themselves. REALLY?!?!? Tell her to look in the mirror. "HEY!!!! Their you are!!!!" If you are the only man for her, then why break up? There should be a need to break up because she found her man! OH YEAH!!!! So....she...can....find herself. Gotcha! Well, that makes perfect sense! She says that she won't meet anyone else. (because let's face it, you're the only man for her) BUT! If you find someone else, don't let her stop you from hooking up! What girl would give up on the only man in their life to someone else? Yeah, that makes perfect sense too! Look, she letting you go with as much as an ego stroke as she can give you. And she's pretty good at it. But, don't live your life around her. Don't move to Argentina just because she's there and no other reason. Because, lets face it. If you go down there. YOU WON'T BE A COUPLE OR IN A RELATIONSHIP!!! You'll be going down there knowing no one! I speculate that when she gets back there, she's going to be looking into her Ex and see if he's changed. If he has, if he's matured and grown up a little, she's going to see what's going on there, and you will be a rebound after thought.
Gulf-Delta Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 My ex said the same thing... Listen, you can't wait around for her. There's no way of telling if she really felt that way at the time, or if she feels that way now, or if she will in the future. You just need to go live your own life, while she lives hers. Now IF/when she does come back THEN you can deal with it. But right now, she's gone, and there's nothing you can do about it. So grieve the relationship and do what you gotta do. There's no accurate prediction of the future or her future actions, so why plan on something that isn't a sure thing? I'm not gonna speculate about her feelings toward you, or if you were a rebound, or if she'll ever come back...because you can't tell those things. Only she knows how she feels, and the only thing you CAN react to, is what is happening at this very moment. So let her go, and leave the future in fate's hands.
Svet74 Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Does her ex live there? sounds like her and the ex are back in contact.. and shes trying to see if they will get back together.. if not.. then your the other option.. thats why she asked to still remain in your life
Chi townD Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 I would love to hear what she would say if you said, " Okay I had time to think and I'm not sure if moving to Argentina would be wise for me right now. I mean, let's face it. We're not together, I wouldn't know anyone down there. I have no prospects. No job leads, no place to stay. I have to re-think this." I would love to know what she would say.
Blastoplast Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 So she thinks you're the one, but doesn't want to commit to a relationship right now, and says if you find somebody else to go for it? Looks like BS, Sounds like BS, smells like BS -- it must be BS. If you value her friendship, I'd maintain contact -- but I wouldn't press too hard or "wait" for her, by any means. Live your life! 1
Pod81 Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 Two words....safety net!! Please cover your ears when she talks because I don't think you can handle the verbal diarrhea that she's dishing out. If there's one thing that I've learned over the years, most girls are the masters of spewing out crap to lessen the guilt of them dumping you. There's a reason why they say the recycle the same 10 break-up lines over and over again.
Recommended Posts