subnewbie Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 (edited) hi, i havent been in the dating seen for that long, im 23 and had only had one 7month boyfriend before my current relationship. im kinda scared though, there are some things that happen in my relationship that i keep telling told are normal and ive even talked about it with my boyfriend and he says he doesnt consider it a problem but it floods me with insecurities: we have ALOT of stuff in common and have a good time together, we´ve known eachother for a while now but started dating only 6 months ago and i just feel like even if its a comfortable silence, we can probably spend about 60% of our time together without talking and i cant help but wonder if hes just bored or thinks im boring... hes not the hugest talker and neither am i but sometimes i feel like the silence is just too much and like we just talk about really random topics just as comments, not even so much as conversations. We see eachother almost everyday and he's the one who constantly wants to meet up so i realize that he enjoys spending time with me but it makes me very tense to be in that situation... is it normal for people in relationships to have this happen? this takes me to the next point, since this happens often, im scared to lose his interest and therefore im all about HIM and what HE wants to do... im generally very laid back and dont care what we do or not ill be cool with it, but i feel like i devote my time to making him happy, and he tries to make me happy as well (its not just one sided) but i obsese about it... i dont know... like if i dont entertain him or making happy he wont wanna be with me anymore even if he hasnt shown me that attitude in his behavior.. its just a fear... id ont know... Edited July 16, 2012 by subnewbie i wasnt finished writing
FitChick Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 You need to spend time apart doing things so you have something to talk about when you are together. Otherwise, why don't you actually go somewhere and do something different with him? 1
Author subnewbie Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 you might be right, i mean ive tried not seeing him so often and we've talked about giving eachother a little more space because of that but for some reason, we either end up seeing eachother anyway and if not, he'll call me a couple of times a day just to chat so in the end, its kinda like seeing eachother, i mean: by the next day, theres nothing new to say... :S
Feelin Frisky Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Hi, warm welcome to LS. I don't really have any advice except trust that your worthy and be easy on yourself. You'll figure things out as new experience reveals cues. 1
Pasttense Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Look at your own parents and other married couples you know. They don't feel the need to be constantly talking.
dasein Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Play music you both like. Eat food you both like. Do things you both like. Talk about them while doing them. If you are feeling pressure to talk, with lots of uncomfortable space, as others say, it's time for some alone time. Good luck.
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