Butter15 Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 Hi! I have been dating this guy for 9 months. We both are happy together. We have lots of things in common, so we can talk for hours. The problem is my mom said something bad about his parents, it made me upset because I know that it wasn't true. I told my boyfriend and he got really mad, I expected that but I wanted to be honest about it. Well, a few days later he pretty much got put in a situation where he had to tell his parents, they were really mad and they didn't want us to be together anymore. So, he broke up with me on Monday, but later that day we got back together. It just felt so different, I feel really bad about it. It still hurts that he broke up with me even though we are still as of now together. I talked to my mom and made her admit she was wrong to say that about his parents(I couldn't tell her I told my bf, she'd get mad). Well, my bf told his parents she was sorry and stuff but they are still kinda mad. Another thing was that they aren't really mad at me, but sorta because i'm kinda shy around them. My bf said if I came to his house I would have to not be shy. I'm not really scared of his parents I just don't know what to say. So if any of you can help with that. The main thing that is still bothering me is that it seems like we don't have conversations like we used to, I may be just thinking to much into it since it's only been a few days since Monday. It stiil kinda hurts to that he broke up with me even though we still are together. I don't really know what'd wrong with me. I just feel kind of like i'm a lower person than him since my mom said that stuff, because it made him really mad. He says he still wants to be with me and cares for me alot and I care alot about him too. I guess I just need advice on what to do and if you think this relationship would last and why I feel so bad?
pink_is_cool_15 Posted July 9, 2004 Posted July 9, 2004 Its hard to talk to the parents and to not be shy but most parents bring up the conversations you just have to really go along with it and show interest in what they are talking about and after the 1st few times you figure that its really no that bad having conversations with your boyfriends parents it will start getting really easy for you. It is understandable that your still hurting because he broke up with you, its porbably just shoke that you nearly lost him. but look at the good side you have him back, and it will be arkward between the 2 of you for a while because everything that has happend would have shocked the both of you, but keep trying to get things back to the way they were it might take a little time but dont give up and in the end the both of you will be fine, and you realtionship will last for the both of you to get through what you went through and to still love each other and care is really good. good luck on your realtionship..
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted July 9, 2004 Posted July 9, 2004 Just make sure to make it very clear to him that you are not the same person as your parents are. That you do not share their opinion. Tell him that while you are sorry for what was said, that you want him to understand that you are not responsible for other people's actions...even if they are your parents. As far as being shy...I can understand how you would be. But try to sit down with his folks and nicely explain that you are willing to talk about it if they are still upset...and just make it clear that you want to have a good relationship with them, because you care about their son, and you don't want anything that your family said to come between your relationship with them...and that you also don't want to be put in the middle of the situation. If they are reasonable adults, they will understand this and respect you for your candor and maturity.
Author Butter15 Posted July 9, 2004 Author Posted July 9, 2004 Thanks, but his parents are still mad and I don't know what to do. I was up all night thinking about it and I think that I'm just gonna' tell them everything, I didget my mom to admit she was wrong about saying that stuff because she doesn't know them and stuff and my bf told his parents but i think maybe if i tell them it might be better and to also tell them that i'm sorry for being so shy and just tell them that I think that they are really nice and stuff like that and also that i'd really like it if they would still let me be with their son because i like him alot. I think they should understand that. My bf though he said last night that things are just different now and his parents are still mad but if i tell him what i plan to do i think things should be alright. I still feel really sick to my stomach right now and i'm having trouble sleeping, so i hope all of this clears up soon. Thanks for the advice and if anyone else has any feel free to post!
Author Butter15 Posted July 12, 2004 Author Posted July 12, 2004 Hey! Guess what everything worked out I talked to his parents and they said if it happened again then well, we can't be together. I understand why. They just don't want anyone to mess with their son, so yeah I understand, but hey if my mom does say anything I just won't tell him cuz it'll just cause problems agian and i'll just talk to my mom and ask why she said it so it's not that big of a deal. She doesn't know them so it doesn't matter what she thinks. She made me really mad though. Anyway things worked out and I was so happy yesterday. Well, thanks again to everyone that posted, and I think that now I won't really have a problem talking to his parents anymore because I talked to them for like ten minutes straight about everything and anyway i did say i as sorry for being so shy. If anyone does have anymore advice on how i could make things even more better, feel free to post, but i think the best thing to do right now is just give it some time. Oh and if anyone would like to tell me what they usually talk about with their bf's parents please tell me it would help alot thanks!
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