amirationale Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 So, I've been dating this great girl for a while now, and probably a month or so after we started dating she discloses to me that her best friend, a guy, is someone that she has slept with on and off in her life "just for fun." At first, I tried not to let it bother me, but then it just did. I got to know the guy and he was just a serious sleazebag! She claimed it wasn't ever very good sex, but why would you keep doing it then? I told her how I felt about her hanging out and talking with him, and she understood and now they never hang out or really talk much. Still, all of her friends are friends with this guy so we are bound to run into him. I guess it pisses me off too that even when I told her I wasn;t comfortable with her hanging out with him we still did ALL the time, and it wasn't until I kind of said "him" or "me" that she stopped. I still just don't like the whole thing. I feel like she probably talks to him anyway behind my back, and it just kind of makes me question who she is as a person. She loves me very much, but sometimes I just can't stand that part of her life. What do you guys think about all of this?
aawebdev Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 it is very difficult for you to accept this.but forget the past and concentrate about the future
Author amirationale Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 Yeah, I see what you are saying. I guess I just want to make sure nothing is going on behind my back you know? This guy is pretty sleazy and I just want to make sure he doesn't or they don't mess around behind my back because they have this strange kind of friendship/lover thing going. I mean is it true that she can have no romantic feelings for him? Why did she pick him time and time again then for this "random" sex? I mean there is a reason someone picks one person over another.
thatone Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 (edited) it's just as likely that she thinks you're some sort of object to make him jealous with, and she might go into full psycho mode when it doesn't work. that's the most obvious reason why she would tell you all of this about a guy she is still around. there's no other practical reason for her to tell you that about a guy she still associates with other than laying the ground work for blaming you when she sleeps with him again. dating 101: whatever she does, consider what is in it for her, because that's her primary consideration. Edited July 16, 2012 by thatone
FitChick Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Instead of just hanging out with her friends and that guy, why not take her out to places away from that group? Find another, healthier group of people to hang out with, perhaps with common interests. Then she will find you more fun and more interesting.
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