Consolidated discussion - Online dating

[Casablanca]

Sometimes the robots are too clever and block that, especially if it's the email you signed up with. You could try the same format but use a different email.

Hmm, I wonder if that is why I got no response from the last two ladies I messaged. My subscription was about to run out, didn't know the date, and I was done with the site until I got a wink notification, looked at their pics and profiles and figured they seemed nice, so sent a message talking about though that my subscription could run out any day and gave them my email in case they wanted to keep talking.

 

Now of course they could be fake accounts to try and get me to renew my subscription, but neither were 10/10's...I've gotten some from ladies I didn't find attractive at all at the end of my life cycle on there, and then the last two were either 7 or 8/10s in my books

[sillyanswer]

I've seen a few vaguely familiar profiles recently... where I wondered if I had read them before but didn't remember seeing the photos before.

 

I finally got it... there are people out there who are taking the 'sample' profiles from some of the profile-writing websites and using that as the entire wording on their dating profiles.

 

So I wondered if these are fake profiles... but they don't seem to be using unbelievably pretty stolen photos of models, and the photos don't show up elsewhere with a google search. I think these women really just cut-and-pasted the sample profile words into their profile.

 

*facepalm*

 

 

Maybe they figure guys only look at the pics so it doesn't matter what garbage they write.

[FitChick]

Any man who calls himself a "gent" is too old for me, even if he is younger.

 

"I have my own building company" = I have a toolbox in the back of my pickup truck.

[sillyanswer]

Any man who calls himself a "gent" is too old for me, even if he is younger.

 

Note to self: revise profile forthwith

[SuperGeek]

Online dating is getting really bad. Before I shut my profile down the last girl I contacted was some prostitute/escort. She had a normal looking profile and didn't have anything sexual or explicit listed. Oh and a lot of the dating sites are using fake female profiles to keep the male/female ratio from being to skewed. Men won't pay the money to sign up if there aren't many women on those sites, so fake profiles are created. There is lots of research on this.

 

I just go to meetups now all over the city and it's much better. Meeting people in person is the best way to go. There are so many meetups now that I can't even attend them all. The last one I went to had 300+ people show up.

 

some are STILL HERE YEARS after they havent learned about the quality of people of OLD are terrible

Edited July 5, 2013 by SuperGeek

[Dread Pirate Roberts]

Any man who calls himself a "gent" is too old for me, even if he is younger.

 

"I have my own building company" = I have a toolbox in the back of my pickup truck.

 

That sounds pretty shallow.

[ThanhL]

I just go to meetups now all over the city and it's much better. Meeting people in person is the best way to go. There are so many meetups now that I can't even attend them all. The last one I went to had 300+ people show up.

 

Thats great! Wish we had it in my city.

[MrTurk]

I am on a dating site. I search for women aged 30-45, within 25 miles of me. It gives me less than 35 results, and 90% of the women within that range, either have no job, are "in the process getting their degree", or list their job as "stay at home mom". They are not very attractive, and you can just tell by their pics and the way they write their profiles that they are rather low on the dating scale as far as most guys would be interested in.

 

But if I broaden my search criteria to other towns a little farther away, or larger metro areas....I get results of women the total opposite. Very attractive, career type women, independent, etc.

 

When I am out and about....I see plenty of attractive women in my town. So why do the attractive women of one town use online dating....but the attractive women of my town totally shun it? It just doesnt make sense to me. I know someone on here will reply with the easy answer of "maybe they get dates without it"....but I just find that hard to believe.

 

I get the feeling, that the people in my town still see online dating as "creepy". Remember like 15 yrs ago...before it became mainstream, and people would laugh or think it was only weirdos that did that?

[FitChick]

Avoid these cliches which I just spotted this morning in different profiles:

 

'Life is not a dress rehearsal'

 

'You only live once'

 

'Seize the day'

 

You don't seem wise, just uncreative.

[FitChick]

I am on a dating site. I search for women aged 30-45, within 25 miles of me. It gives me less than 35 results, and 90% of the women within that range, either have no job, are "in the process getting their degree", or list their job as "stay at home mom". They are not very attractive.

 

But if I broaden my search criteria to other towns a little farther away, or larger metro areas....I get results of women the total opposite. Very attractive, career type women, independent, etc.

 

When I am out and about....I see plenty of attractive women in my town. So why do the attractive women of one town use online dating....but the attractive women of my town totally shun it?

 

Because attractive women in a small town get the pick of the litter. In a large city, there are more of them and more competition. There are more successful men in the city than in your small town.

[MrTurk]

Because attractive women in a small town get the pick of the litter. In a large city, there are more of them and more competition. There are more successful men in the city than in your small town.

 

Yea...I understand that to a point. But town has roughly 40,000 residents....and the surrounding area(other towns within 30mins) has an additional 150,000 easily. I really think its the mindset more than anything else. I think majority of the people...especially the women, would die if someone they knew saw them on a dating site. Whereas larger metro areas, its already the norm. Around 200,000 people....and I only get 30 results within a 25 mile radius?? I need to hire a sociologist to conduct a study on this

[napy666]

How many of you use dating websites? If so what types of photos do you post? I have tried a lot of dating sites over the years, and posted various photos in outfits of dresses, to skirts and nice blouses, to jeans and nice blouses, etc.

 

But yet none are good enough or guys say I am ugly no matter what I wear. So I am wondering what would you recommend?

[Phantom888]

I have had much success with OLD in the last couple of years. Met some great women, including my current SO. I noticed a lot of women in their 20s prefer men with no kids. One lady even emailed me saying, "You are like the perfect man, but unfortunately you have kids." I was like WTF? I feel I am attractive partly because I'm a good dad. If a woman can't accept that, she can suck it!

[forgetmenot75]

I think something sexy should help. But most important than the clothes, is the attitude. A nice, bubbly smile is really important. Do you smile in your pics?

 

I think guys telling you're ugly is really mean. What type of guys do you approach? They must be jerks.

Just be yourself, smile, and have fun.

[napy666]

I don't meet any guys just post the photos and then guys randomly message me and tell me I'm ugly or even harsher things it sucks. I sometimes smile but my teeth aren't so great so I can't really show them off haha.

[Lansing]

Wow, people actually sent you "you are ugly" messages! That is nuts...

 

I think I am pretty average looking myself but I know that some people are attracted to me otherwise I wouldn't have managed to date/etc.

 

I guess attraction is indeed beyond a photo (I feel like I am not photogenic myself) and maybe you are better off joining Meetup groups or going out and doing things/volunteering/etc and meeting people in reel life so people can appreciate you for all of you (looks and personality).

[irc333]

With online dating as common as it is, how do you gentleman feel about how women present themselves in a "fantasy" fashion when they flaunt their bodies in bikini photos.

 

Granted, it's pretty innocent enough if it's an environment where your hanging out by the pool in a non-posed fashioned by the pool or out playing volleyball at a BBQ with friends. Or sometimes in shorts and a bikini top holding a fish they caught on a charter boat. Which is cool.

 

But I'm noticing some women that are getting professionally done photos, as if they were Venus Swimsuit models or Sports Illustrated models.

 

Posed photos of themselves flaunting their bodies.

 

I recall seeing a woman in a bikini in front of a grotto and another in a stylish swimsuit, posing as most models do (but they aren't models), showing off skin in about 1/2 or 3/4's of their photos.

 

Though us men like looking at these women, the reality of the situation is, if someone has to go this far to make strides at showing off their bodies in a "posed" fashion, would they really be interested in anyone to date?

[FitChick]

if someone has to go this far to make strides at showing off their bodies in a "posed" fashion, would they really be interested in anyone to date?

 

Models have boyfriends. Models get married.

[coachcomeback]

desperate times call for desperate measures. Most people are just doing what they think they must to get the result they want.

 

If it is online dating... you gotta assume she is just doing her best to try to get noticed. No reason to fault her for it. She could be the sweetest girl behind that pose. Just trying to put what she thinks is her best features first.

 

Like I always try to be funny in my bio's because I think that is my best feature. But sometimes I go overboard too and it has the reverse effect.

 

Just my thoughts

[thefooloftheyear]

desperate times call for desperate measures. Most people are just doing what they think they must to get the result they want.

 

If it is online dating... you gotta assume she is just doing her best to try to get noticed. No reason to fault her for it. She could be the sweetest girl behind that pose. Just trying to put what she thinks is her best features first.

 

Like I always try to be funny in my bio's because I think that is my best feature. But sometimes I go overboard too and it has the reverse effect.

 

Just my thoughts

 

Maybe.....

 

But eventually you are going to have to back it up...Why put that type of pressure..??

 

Its kinda like trying to sell a car with a bashed in quarter panel, but only showing the good side in the for sale ad..Eventually someone is going to want to kick the tires..

 

Its always better to underpromise and overdeliver..

 

TFY

[USMCHokie]

Its always better to underpromise and overdeliver..

 

To a certain extent. But if the quality of your underpromise is not of high enough quality to initially attract buyers, you aren't going to get the opportunity to deliver anything. When buying a house, do you look for the dumpiest looking houses in hopes that the insides are palatial? Likewise, I doubt women look for unremarkable profiles assuming that the guys are princes, especially with the sheer quantity of profiles they have to choose from...

[USMCHokie]

desperate times call for desperate measures. Most people are just doing what they think they must to get the result they want.

 

If it is online dating... you gotta assume she is just doing her best to try to get noticed. No reason to fault her for it. She could be the sweetest girl behind that pose. Just trying to put what she thinks is her best features first.

 

I don't really think it's desperate at all. Men are visual creatures and generally value physical appearance when it comes to initial attraction. It's simply matching the advertising with the audience.

[thefooloftheyear]

To a certain extent. But if the quality of your underpromise is not of high enough quality to initially attract buyers, you aren't going to get the opportunity to deliver anything. When buying a house, do you look for the dumpiest looking houses in hopes that the insides are palatial? Likewise, I doubt women look for unremarkable profiles assuming that the guys are princes, especially with the sheer quantity of profiles they have to choose from...

 

Thats fine....If you can back it up, put your best foot forward..

 

The intent of the original post is appearance..To use your house analogy would you deliberately post only the pics of the newly remodeled bathroom when the rest of the house is a dump? Sure, you are going to get a lot of attention and interest, but once they come over to have a look its going to be a big disappointment..

 

I once initaited contact with a woman that looked really good in her photos..We hit it off really well..I sent her a bunch of current photos that she asked for and she only resent the original ones back to me..She kept stalling for the initial meeting..When I pressed her on it, she finally broke down and gave me the reason for the delays..She said she was trying to drop 30 lbs before we met because the pics are old and dont represent what she currently looks like. I even told her that I was OK with it and would like to meet anyway, but she flat out refused... Now, let me ask you, what the hell is the point of that??

 

Im not saying deliberately make yourself look bad, but if you know you arent going to be able to back it up, why bother wasting someones time..??

 

Or maybe get lucky and find someone with compromised vision?

 

TFY

[silvermercy]

I don't really think it's desperate at all. Men are visual creatures and generally value physical appearance when it comes to initial attraction. It's simply matching the advertising with the audience.

I've seen pics of shirtless men. And they look quite good (women are visual, too).

 

However, I don't give them a second thought because of that. People who advertise themselves this way (men and women) just seem like douche-bags to me. I can't take them seriously for dating.

[thefooloftheyear]

I've seen pics of shirtless men. And they look quite good (women are visual, too).

 

However, I don't give them a second thought because of that. People who advertise themselves this way (men and women) just seem like douche-bags to me. I can't take them seriously for dating.

 

I hear what you are saying, but I will voice one part of the hypocrisy here(not on your part)..

 

Ive seen some profiles where the women say "dont contact me if you put a shirtless pic up"...yet those same women might have nice tits and make sure to display them quite clearly in their pics..

 

TFY