irc333 Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 (edited) Interesting, I was talking to a male friend of mine that's pretty good friends with a lady friend of his (she's in her late 30's), divorced, no kids, German heritage and a vegetarian (yeah, a German vegetarian, don't see many of those, lol). I asked what her story is about being single...and he said she's divorced, no kids....but doesn't date as often as you would think , even though she's attractive. Mentioned the reason for that is, she is VERY particular about who she dates, and doesn't just go out "dating" for the sake of dating....which I suppose is a good thing....but she's one of the very few people....at least of the rather very attractive women, that can go long periods without even dating casually. He did mention that she's looking for someone that is intensely athletic, like if she goes biking, it would have to be of the off-roading variety, and not just the casual bike rides around the neighborhood or bike trials. Basically, any outdoor related activities would have to be rather intense with her. So maybe she's not finding that I suppose? But even then, he still says she's rather picky. Plus, I heard she was planning on moving back to Europe in the next couple of years anyways to be back with her family. Edited July 16, 2012 by irc333
iris219 Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 I know many women like this (all my single female friends are like this, though I guess they are varying levels of attractive and that's subjective. None are overweight, all dress well, and all are professionals). My friend (who's attractive, single, and doesn't date) was talking to her personal trainer the other day and he said he works with so many awesome and beautiful single women who can't find dates. They come in and vent their dating frustrations to him. He said he feels so bad for these women because they have so much to offer and there are so few single men in our town. They either don't date or take whatever jerk is available. Many people aren't into casual dating. That's not unusual. I want to get married and have children, so casually dating someone who doesn't want these things or wouldn't be right for these things is a waste of time and I would avoid it. Not that anyone is asking me out, but if someone on a different path in life did I'd have to say no.
Radu Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 While i have to agree that maybe males are not what they used to be, i find it hard to believe that these women have a hard time dating because 'men are jerks'. Most of them are probably like the one in the OP's post, high standards, no room for deviation, do not move an inch ... waiting for the perfect prince charming. You know how it will end. As for the ones that are not like this [though all will claim they are not like this], i really hope they meet someone. 1
xxoo Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Do you have any reason to believe she wants to date more? Especially if she's divorced, she may appreciate simply being single. Her standards may be very high because she likes being single, and is only interested in a relationship if the match is a very good one (better than being single). Lots of women don't date casually, so that isn't unusual. Not everyone considers being single a negative thing. I believe men are overall "needier" for female companionship (both sex and relationships) than women are "needy" for male companionship, and that is one reason men are the pursuers. There is research that suggests men benefit from marriage and relationships more than women, in terms of mental and physical health, so there may be good reasons for women to be picky, and appreciate singlehood. 1
Author irc333 Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 Yeah, per the person who is the personal trainer, and agreed that men are the "needlers" (one wanting to probably date more than women). Women are single because they turn down a lot of men, men are single because they are being turned down by these very women. LOL To quote Morpheus from "The Matrix" "Funny, fate...is without it's own sense of....irony." But , anyhow, it's good that you don't just date any jerk either and then be miserable. I had recalled a "Blog" of a woman on MySpace (yes that far back) where she was very attractive, said she worked as a clerk at the local drug store, in her prime (early 30's). She lives in a small town, and...to be attractive and in a small town, it's VERY odd to other people, esp. her fellow married friends and family that's she is STILL single. She complained and found it frustrating how people question her on this almost constantly. (I have to say, even I'd probably in the same crowd, questioning it). She stated that she will not even GO OUT with a guy, unless he is "the one" basically the problem there....putting the cart before the horse. She wants to see if a guy has any long term or even marriage potential BEFORE even a FIRST date. Her friends find this method odd, but it's what has kept her single for a LONG time. In other blogs of her, she tends to lament on physical appearances of men, so from what she's been saying in her blogs, she expects very HOT men to date...nothing average at all. Do you have any reason to believe she wants to date more? Especially if she's divorced, she may appreciate simply being single. Her standards may be very high because she likes being single, and is only interested in a relationship if the match is a very good one (better than being single). Lots of women don't date casually, so that isn't unusual. Not everyone considers being single a negative thing. I believe men are overall "needier" for female companionship (both sex and relationships) than women are "needy" for male companionship, and that is one reason men are the pursuers. There is research that suggests men benefit from marriage and relationships more than women, in terms of mental and physical health, so there may be good reasons for women to be picky, and appreciate singlehood.
fortyninethousand322 Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 I imagine a divorced person has been there done that and doesn't need to date for the sake of dating. A younger, never married woman who was attractive and told me she didn't date much, well, I wouldn't believe her. Unless I thought she was purposely avoiding dating or legitimately didn't have the time (like she was busy curing cancer or something).
Author irc333 Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 I imagine a divorced person has been there done that and doesn't need to date for the sake of dating. A younger, never married woman who was attractive and told me she didn't date much, well, I wouldn't believe her. Unless I thought she was purposely avoiding dating or legitimately didn't have the time (like she was busy curing cancer or something). Well, she does plan on moving back to Europe to be with her family in a couple of years, that might have something to do with it. I was telling my friend, "Well, a lot could happen in 2 years" and he said, "Well, her mind seems pretty much made up on that, I mean it is possible she could meet someone that would keep her in the states, but not likely. Seems her mind is made up about going back home overseas".
irin Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 i dont date either, even though i get approached on a daily basis, its normal, you dont have to date all the time.
Bob_Funk Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Girls can easily hold out for years. I once got friendzoned by this fat ugly chick with a very noticeable underbite. She was still a virgin at 25. Not because she couldn't get laid by any and every guy, but because she couldn't get commitment from a top 1%-er.
FitChick Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 I don't understand the mindset of, because someone is attractive, they should be dating or something is wrong with them. That would mean ugly people should NOT be dating. I seldom date because I am not someone who dates out of boredom or to get a free meal or free entertainment. I only date men I'd consider a possible marriage partner. In the past I was passive and dated men I wasn't attracted to simply because they asked me out. Eventually they realized my lack of feelings and we split up.
fishtaco Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Some women, attractive ones, don't date because they're not ready or they're scared. Unlike men, where if you don't try, you get nothing, these women will have men hitting on them, but they turn down everyone/try to avoid those situations. Sometimes it comes from previous bad experiences. Like for example, husband of 15 years cheated. So they are hurt, and understandably are distrusting of men. Plus given their age, they are severely out-classed in the dating arena due to their lack of experience, because they spent 15 years being married. 1
seachangeoflove Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Girls can easily hold out for years. I once got friendzoned by this fat ugly chick with a very noticeable underbite. She was still a virgin at 25. Not because she couldn't get laid by any and every guy, but because she couldn't get commitment from a top 1%-er. So, for her, being being single is a better option then dating you. Sorry for the butthurt.
seachangeoflove Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 I don't understand the mindset of, because someone is attractive, they should be dating or something is wrong with them. That would mean ugly people should NOT be dating. I thought that was the general consensus here at LS? lol!
Radu Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Not everyone considers being single a negative thing. I believe men are overall "needier" for female companionship (both sex and relationships) than women are "needy" for male companionship, and that is one reason men are the pursuers. There is research that suggests men benefit from marriage and relationships more than women, in terms of mental and physical health, so there may be good reasons for women to be picky, and appreciate singlehood. Maybe, it's debatable who is needier of the genders ... all i know is that men don't generally **** test you for the rest of your life. The problem with 'research' is the fact that any college major can do 'research' that gets manipulated through preferential responses and what not, to prove whatever you want. In this case i prefer to look at factual evidence [the ppl i know]. And quite frankly, in almost all of the cases that i know off, men die earlier than women [much earlier in some]. If it is truly better for them in terms of mental and physical health, why do they still die earlier from heart diseases ? Where i live, there is a joke about how every married man will get fat, usually by way of his wife's actions.
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