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Is something wrong with me?


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Posted

Urgh...

My issue is something that always happens to me it seems... If I am with my bf for 6 days straight, with very little time apart, I just run out of energy to give him. I dont want to be close, do anything physical, rather, I just push away. It is like I have spent these 6 days tending to him, giving him love and attention and I just run out of it. I guess I cannot keep giving and giving although the giving is small and special, I just run out of it. I want space, time alone, time where nobody will need me for anything....being needed all the time gets very taxing.But with other's relationships, I guess I dont see that happening. they are like "we miss eachother all the time" "i think about him all the time" " i need to be with him all the time". That isnt me really. When we are apart for a few days, Yes, I am like that a little bit. But I suppose I am just an independent person.

This makes me worry about when I have kids because I will need time where they wont need stuff from me...I can just relax and just think about myself.

I worry that I will ruin this relationship, which I am so blessed to have, because of this. But the way I explained to him was, I am like a beaker. I am full at first, but then after spending and expending time and energy with someone for a period of time, I become empty with nothing to give. If I am not given the patience and time to refill, the relationship ends up in trouble, kind of like my last 2 year relationship I had.

Thoughts?

Posted

some people want and need more time/closeness with their partner than others. It isn't really an issue unless the two of you are on separate ends of the spectrum. Have you talked to him about it?

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Posted

I spoke to him about it- the last sentence I wrote is what I told him. He said it isnt a big deal. But i know he wants affection alot. I can give it to him when I can. But sometimes, like now, When i am all out of giving, I cant. He says hes fine with it.

Posted
This makes me worry about when I have kids because I will need time where they wont need stuff from me

 

The way you verbalize your issues regarding lack of personal space I wonder why you would want to have children. It is okay not to. We're not all made to be mothers.

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Posted

I think its actually a vulnerability issue! Aha! I shall work hard at this! :)

 

And about kids, I want some one day, but i am sure I will be more grown up by then and have figured this issue out. thanks! :)

Posted

What I don't understand is, how is spending 6 days with someone draining? My boyfriend makes me feel revived and renewed when I spend long periods of time with him. I think a relationship should be about giving on both ends so the love you give is returned and then you are revived. That's the way it should be, right? Or am I off here?

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Posted

I think with every relationship is different, each person is different. I have done most of the things in my life alone, i have recovered from serious issues alone, helped myself, etc. So I am very much independent.. This is an issue that I have to work through. It will be ok. At a certain point in time, I need time to regroup, regain myself that I am used to be when being alone. Geez, not being alone takes time getting used to!

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