anangel2be Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 Hello all , I am friends with a married man at work. He is so sweet and caring. He has been married for 5 years and has two kids. He has always flirted with me. I never thought anything about it. But then I got to liking his attention. and one day out of the bule he asked me if i wanted to sleep with him. Of course i blow that off. we styed friends and we still talk and we started going to lunch pretty much with out anyone else. well he got to where he would look around and if noone was looking he would grab my ass. then we got to setting out at the picnic tables at work and they were far away from the bulbing and cam that are on the top of the roof at our work place. So one day he takes my breast out from under my shirt just to look at it. He siad he would not mind kissing and caressing it just a bit but was scared of getting caught so he put it back in my shirt. we things were still ok in weeks to come. then one week we walked back behind the garden center . cause all the tables had sold . but we could not find any place to set back there anyways so we were about to leave from back there when he said hey come here for a min. So I did and when i did he kissed me. and it was not just a peck we gave it all we could. it flet so right at the moment. that following week he was not as flirty . So i asked him what i have cuties now and he said yes. so i set by myself in one of the swings that night and the next night . i asked can i sit by you. and at first he told me no and then he told me he was just playing. so i went and set beside him and he put his hands down my paints and fingered me. the next few days had a drastric turn around he baraly spoke to me . he was not flirty and he was not ever kind. finally i asked him what was wrong . And he told me he had alot on his mind. and i said like what and he said i have told you quite a bit and i dont want it to get out. and i told him it would not that i was not like that. what he does not understand if i wanted to run him and his wife i could have already. but i think people at work are talking about us. and there for that is why he is putting distance. I wish he would stop and just act like himself. that same day i walked with him as he got grocerys , and when he got done he asked me if i wanted to go to his house and have sex. I told him i could not at the time cause i had used one of them waxes for your privet areas that had been worse then razor burn pulled chuncks out of my skin. and i said besides your wife will be home sometimes today and your bro is coming over and you dont know what time. So i siad maybe next time. well fact is i dont want to loss what i already have . His friendship and all and with him already acting kind of distance if i was to sleep with him he may never talk to me again. So what do i do to get him to be his slef again . and will he keep pushing for sex and if i do it would it be wotrng if i just want to see what it is like. to never be told about. but you see i like him alrady a little more then i need to i am sure . thanks for listing to me go on and on. anly help will be good help i am sure.
Debster Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 IMO this MM is using you just for sex. He doesn't seem emotionally attached to you, and quite frankly it doesn't sound like he treats you well - and you still want to sleep with him? I don't get it.
Author anangel2be Posted July 8, 2004 Author Posted July 8, 2004 I did not say i wanted to sleep with him. i want things to go back to like they were before anything happned. I like his friendship. not that i have not thought about it everyone does when they are in that kind of situation.
BusyBee Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 Most of us are emotionally attached to our MM. It sounds like this guy just wants sex. It is very disrespectful to just pull a breast out of your shirt etc.....If you want to revert back to just the friendship, don't let him just touch you anytime he wants......be stronger than that.
Debster Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 I did not say i wanted to sleep with him. Yet you'll let him whip your boob out in public, near your work and you'll let him finger you on the swings, you tell him the reason you couldn't sleep with him one time was because you waxed and his wife will be home soon --- but yet you say you don't want to sleep with him?!!!
kasey70 Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 Hi, I agree with Deb, you don't have to come right out and say you wanted to sleep with him. Your actions speak louder than words because of the things that did take place. You say you want that friendship back? I'm not so sure that there was a friendship there to begin with. Maybe for you it was, but hes using you plain and simple. Anyone that's just gonna come right out and ask "do you wanna sleep with me?" and put their hands down your pants, and is MARRIED, etc is out for one thing. Also because of some of the things that has taken place already, thats probably why he has distanced himself, he may be feeling guilty for some of the things that have gone on, but I doubt guilty enough to stop, that should be up to you. I understand that you like him etc, but if you have any respect for yourself, then tell him the next time he tries something or even says something, just tell him that since hes married, you just want to be friends and thats all. Don't give in to any advances or anything he says. I would distance yourself as well, because its the right thing to do. Best of luck.
sinner Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 need help decoding a married man You don't need any help "decoding" this MM. Your MM wants to fu@K you. Plain as day. There's no deep mystery, here.
Sugar_Cube Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 Sinner said it all, this is so true. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ All that glitters isn't gold!!
Author anangel2be Posted July 8, 2004 Author Posted July 8, 2004 you are all Right guys. but why do i like him so so much? so you guys thinks since he has put distance that it will never be like it was before? and i still say if i was going to letit be knowen that he was messing with me i would have already. so therefore i dont think there is any reason for him to be acting funny with me now. that kind of pisses me off.i guess i have lots of emotions running in my head and i just wish i know what to do aobut them all.i guess sometimes i feel like i love sick puppy. and i know i dont need to be cause he is married.
Author anangel2be Posted July 8, 2004 Author Posted July 8, 2004 you see i have not dated anyone in like a year and 7 months. and this same guy teses me about ever guy that he thinks likes me why is that?
Author anangel2be Posted July 8, 2004 Author Posted July 8, 2004 so you guys dont think if this man meet me and he was not maried he would not have any intrests in me at all? I sometimes think that if he was not married we woulod be happly dating. and seeing where it leads us.
Debster Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 It doesn't really matter - the facts are that he is married and you are not his wife. End of story.
MidNiteAgl Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 Originally posted by anangel2be so you guys dont think if this man meet me and he was not maried he would not have any intrests in me at all? I sometimes think that if he was not married we woulod be happly dating. and seeing where it leads us. I don't think that y'all would be happily dating. And even if y'all were, would he have his hand up some other woman's skirt? I am sorry but this guy was using you for a cheap thrill. I would stay away from him. Don't let him degrade you any longer.
HoldOn Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 Anangel2be, You are not going to get different answers by starting a new thread. You say this guy is a good friend. Here are two important questions for you: 1.) What is the definition of a good friend? 2.) How does your married man fit this description? Typically my friends don't sexually assault me at work. But hey, that's just me. You say: so you guys dont think if this man meet me and he was not maried he would not have any intrests in me at all? I sometimes think that if he was not married we woulod be happly dating. and seeing where it leads us. Who cares! He is married. But if he weren't here is what would happen: You would date him and he would lie to you and cheat on you. JUST LIKE HE IS DOING TO HIS WIFE!! but why do i like him so so much? It is because you are lonely! You didn't get enough attention from your father growing up! You think that because he wants to f--k you that he loves you. (which is wrong.) You need to find your own man who is not married and will not cheat and lie. You say you want his friendship back, but then you also say you are a love-sick puppy. You obviously have feelings for him! You say you want him to go back to being nice to you like before. Here's a newsflash, honey. He was only being nice to you so he could try to sleep with you!
sinner Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 Typically my friends don't sexually assault me at work. But hey, that's just me. Yeah, my job's boring , too.
Author anangel2be Posted July 8, 2004 Author Posted July 8, 2004 hey how do we talk in pm mode? and hey guys i did not say i am not betting myself up here for liking this married man cause i do. but why does he tese me about every other guy that likes me? what does he get out of doing that for? and guys for the note i am a pretty gal i can probely get anyone i want to get. but hey i am not looking. and the things that happend with this guy i let happen he did not just do them i know he was going to do them . It put a little thrill out there wish i have not ever been much of a thirll seeker and i dont guess i am yet or else i mayhave sleep with him by now.
MidNiteAgl Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 Sounds to me like you just need to grow up. You like this attention you are getting from this man you can't have. Now you think that he teases you about the other guys because he loves you or something. He doesn't care about you. Go on with your life. Grow up this man doesn't want you. All he wants is sex and if he can't get it from you he will find someone else up there that he can get.
HoldOn Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 Sounds to me like you need to grow up. Totally. This girl is beyond help.
Author anangel2be Posted July 8, 2004 Author Posted July 8, 2004 i think another problem i have is i am 28 years old no where close to gettting married and starting a family life and i feel like time is passing me by. So i guess i was going to try to settle for less. and i know that is never good to do that. i mean i thought by now i would be happly married and have kids and a good life. not that i dont have a good one now i just feel like a lot is lost. and i feel like i am not going to be able to start a married life anytime soon to enjoy it before i get to old. cause one i dont go out looking for people to date i want them to come to me. and i have tired dating services and i talk to a few off there but not any i would want to date.
HoldOn Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 Wow! You're 28. You sounded a bit younger in your posts. not that i dont have a good one now i just feel like a lot is lost. and i feel like i am not going to be able to start a married life anytime soon to enjoy it before i get to old. Man, 28 is young! You have years and years to find a good man. However, being alone is better than being with a total jerk.
sinner Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 Click on "My Profile," go to "Edit Options" and place a check under "yes" for the enable private messaging option. If you're a brand new member, this may not yet be an option.
Author anangel2be Posted July 8, 2004 Author Posted July 8, 2004 first off I dont need to grow up. I am very much so a big girl. I just thought that these things would help me understand more of why guys want to mess around. and i have not done much with him and i will probely never will. that would be something i would have to live with for the rest of my life if something happned and i am not willing to do that. I just dont get why i am so confussed. and i am sorry if you guys think i am one that you catn help. but have i gone and judged you guys. hey if i knoew hafl the things you have done then i might can ber hard on you to . and hey if you are on this thred hey that means you must have the same problem. do you see me bashing you so No
Author anangel2be Posted July 8, 2004 Author Posted July 8, 2004 sinner will you try to pm me i have yes checked to. and it will not let me pm anyone. I would not mind talking to some of you in person.
MidNiteAgl Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 Originally posted by HoldOn However, being alone is better than being with a total jerk. You sounded way younger than 28. But I have to agree with HoldOn. You don't want to settle for this. This man just wants to use you. And you are right if you did have sex with him, he probably would never talk to you again. If he did it would probably just be for a boody call. Is this the kind of life you want to life. You are still young. You will find someone that will respect and love you. But first you have to respect and love yourself. And from the sounds of it. You don't right now.
Author anangel2be Posted July 8, 2004 Author Posted July 8, 2004 hey i do love and respect myslef if i did not i would have sleep with him by now. and most people that meet me in person think i am alot older then 28 cause i act alot older. so things on here cant tell you how to think of someone untill you meet them.
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