betterdeal Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 In the Western world the population is evenly balanced 50% men and 50% women. So either there's one or two guys in each town dating all the available women, or it is around about as likely for a man to get a date as it is for a woman. 4
Bob_Funk Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 In the Western world the population is evenly balanced 50% men and 50% women. So either there's one or two guys in each town dating all the available women, or it is around about as likely for a man to get a date as it is for a woman. Not with the current dating trend of soft polygamy, where girls would rather share a top tier male than get commitment from a guy on their level. In fact, most girls would rather be celibate than settle for a guy on their level. 2
oaks Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 We aren't talking about sex unless you want to toss in FWB & EX's that don't count because their ex's. LOL! No, I'm not talking about sex either. I'm just explaining that it's the same math problem (and solution). Sorry for the confusion. what i'm saying is if you take a random group of say 50 women & 50 men in their teens/ early 20's & ask them how many different people they had been out with on a romantic basis in the last few months to a yr & if you could get them to tell the truth i'm telling you the women will have a higher number. And I'm telling you that you're mistaken. The numbers are the same. They have to be (or you haven't chosen your 100 people in a representative way, or you need more people to be representative). At that age, women have more options. They can't have. It isn't possible. The 'options' of the women would be represented as people in the male sample. (unless you're saying that those teen/low 20s women are dating much older guys who aren't in your male sample, but I don't think you are). The number of dates that men and women go on, for a heterosexual population where there are the same number of men and women, is the same. Really. It is. You can prove this on a sheet of paper like this: Draw 20 pink dots in a column down the right hand side of the page. Those are woman-dots. Draw 20 blue dots in a column down the left hand side of the page. Those are man-dots. Now draw lines, representing dates, between pairs of man-dots and woman-dots. Now draw lots more lines, each line joining a man-dot to a woman-dot, either randomly or by deciding that some of the man-dots and/or woman-dots are celibate and some are promiscuous. Now tear the paper in half vertically down the middle. Now count the number of lines on the left. Now count the number of lines on the right. You just got the same number. 1
betterdeal Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 Not with the current dating trend of soft polygamy, where girls would rather share a top tier male than get commitment from a guy on their level. In fact, most girls would rather be celibate than settle for a guy on their level. If most girls are celibate then most men are celibate too, ergo the likelihood of dating is equal. In the olden days (which some seem to hark back to, with a fondness) people did pair off for longer (usually until the death of one). That, however, isn't what this thread is about: having a lifelong partner wasn't about sex whereas this thread is about dating with the aim of bumping uglies. I've not read much about anything other than picking up and getting it on here. And sex in those fondly misremembered olden days was awkward, taboo and frequently an uncomfortable routine performed largely to have children. So, what was really on offer was this: have a wife (who may or may not be ugly, who may or may not be good company, who may or may not be a good lay) and children, and live with that for the rest of your life. The sexual revolution, brought about by the invention (by men) of the contraceptive pill freed men from that life, and men jumped at the opportunity. Women, are, by and large still interested in long term relationships with a reliable man and having the children of a stud, and men are still interested in marrying a virgin and making sure no other man does. Everything changes and everything stays the same. 1
Kamille Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 (edited) In the Western world the population is evenly balanced 50% men and 50% women. So either there's one or two guys in each town dating all the available women, or it is around about as likely for a man to get a date as it is for a woman. Love this argument, but the sociologist in me can't help but point this out: In most western countries, the mortality rate is higher for men after the age of 15 than for women (with the youngest men more easily involved in car accidents and the 50+ in heart issues). This means that, in Canada at least, there are more women than men from the age of 16 onwards. So, for the canadian population between the ages of 15-64, there is 235 580 more women than men (out of 22 924 290 total population). I suspect the numbers would be quite similar in the US. In my city, for the same age group there are 16 785 more women than men. Guess that, here, the men have more options. Does that mean they have it easier;)? Edited July 17, 2012 by Kamille
snug.bunny Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 I think people should be more lenient when it comes to physical standards, yes. Let's face it. That's what we're talking about. Nobody is saying a woman is too picky because she doesn't like guys who watch football. We're talking about discrimination on things you can't control ... the wealth of your parents and your physical appearance. I truly think the world would be a better place if people cared a lot less about looks. It's a nice gesture in itself, but as with wealth, you can't redistribute it against someone's will (unless of course, you're Uncle Sam ). 1
Bob_Funk Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 (edited) If most girls are celibate then most men are celibate too, ergo the likelihood of dating is equal. In the olden days (which some seem to hark back to, with a fondness) people did pair off for longer (usually until the death of one). That, however, isn't what this thread is about: having a lifelong partner wasn't about sex whereas this thread is about dating with the aim of bumping uglies. I've not read much about anything other than picking up and getting it on here. And sex in those fondly misremembered olden days was awkward, taboo and frequently an uncomfortable routine performed largely to have children. So, what was really on offer was this: have a wife (who may or may not be ugly, who may or may not be good company, who may or may not be a good lay) and children, and live with that for the rest of your life. The sexual revolution, brought about by the invention (by men) of the contraceptive pill freed men from that life, and men jumped at the opportunity. If you're female, it's fine. Even welcome, since it just means one less hurdle for the guys. For a guy, it's considered creepy. If you're going to go out alone, clubs are probably the lesser of two evils. They're so dark and crowded, no one will even notice. Women, are, by and large still interested in long term relationships with a reliable man and having the children of a stud, and men are still interested in marrying a virgin and making sure no other man does. Everything changes and everything stays the same. The average guy had it much better in those days. Going to hookers once a week actually would have been an affordable lifestyle. Sure beats fighting tooth and nail for fat, annoying modern womyn. Edited July 17, 2012 by Bob_Funk 1
seachangeoflove Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 (edited) take any woman who is approached by 10 men. what happens? as a girl who askes out a lot of men (i know, an anomally) I get rejected probably 9/10 times. Yes. Really. No, I'm not that attractive. Sure if I was better looking Id get better responses...but if I was better looking I wouldn't have to ask men out.... most "average or below" women DONT ASK MEN OUT. So we just assume women have it easier. when ina ctuallity they don't. I am naturally VERY VERY fat. I was obese as a child of five years old. I could cry and complain but I don't. Instead I obsess on food and exercise and with a lot of hard work am merely "chubby" or "thick" So I work as hard as I can and some men will reject me for something I can't change. I will never be petite. I wear a size 10 shoe and have massive hands. (Ive had guys reject me for "man hands" something I can't change. Just like baldness or height. of courser the average man who meets me says "oh if she wasn't lazy and ate so much she'd be HOT" Ive had GUY friends TELL me that.....but they know how hard I work to maintain what I do have and make an effort to ask men out. Why? cos I really really like sex. Most women probably don't have my libido or they're better looking. So my guess would be that if more women who were not considered "hot" started asking men out.....they'd be crying about rejection too. Just like the men. It's NOT easier as a woman unless you're attractive OR you enjoy spending hours and money on your appearance. I would say the average woman spends a few hundy a month on hair/nails/skin. I don't. I choose to drive a sports car instead. After my last speeding ticket maybe I should stick to hair and nails eh? also, I've been told by guy friends that while they don't care (as much as ladies do) about hair, nails, make up, dressing like a hussy etc they tell me that by NOT doing those things Im projecting a vibe that I do not want to be approached. I am very modest (in person) so I tend to downplay the strenghts I do have. So between that and not "dressing up Im putting out a "not interested" vibe. I hate hate hate attention whoring (from either gender) but sometimes I think you HAVE to do it to get noticed. Maybe a happy medium? Edited July 17, 2012 by seachangeoflove
Anela Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 Although I would add, that was when I first started posting. I don't think I would date her now, her self esteem issues are through the roof, but she is attractive and I would take significantly less in that sense. Many men here have said V is attractive. But all men want and chase after only 10s, right? I've never said that all men do that. I was just responding to someone earlier, who seemed to think that all women do that. I don't know how many times I've been called a liar on this board, when I point out certain truths from my own life - just like V. Anyway, I'm not in the mood to deal with the attitude, so I'm gone for now.
Anela Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 I don't think it's necessarily a "quality" issue but generally compatibility. I personally don't believe anyone, man or woman, should settle to date someone they don't find attractive for whatever reason. I have been approached by girls I don't find attractive and have had to turn them down. So in a way, I can understand in some ways what women are getting at, when they say that their options may not be the most enticing for them. I wouldn't ask a woman to "give me a chance" if there is the chance that I don't meet her standard, whatever it is. I have my own standard, and I stick to that. I don't think women are too picky personally - but I guess that's because in a way I'm picky myself. I've turned down a couple of guys who like to do drugs (I don't); one of them has over-dosed twice, almost killing himself, and hit on me when he was in a relationship. Apparently, I'm just being too picky. He's okay-looking, but not my type (and I wouldn't date him if i had been immediately attracted to him, knowing what I do), he has never had a problem dating - he was with a beautiful friend of mine who considered him the love of her life, until the end of last year. I'm not attracted to many men out there, and it doesn't have anything to do with the state of their bank account, or their height. I know that isolation has been a huge factor for me, as well as shyness, but I've had times when a man can only say good things about me, yet I'm not good enough. I have no idea how I'd classify myself number-wise, because I've never looked at the world that way; one "ten" for me, could be someone else's five.
Anela Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 First point. Treating women right is not a commodity. A bunch of posters here like CrackerJack and others seem like real nice guys. They have trouble getting women. I hate to think that somebody is thinking about me, "Oh well. He's a good guy, but I can do so much better lookswise." I'm sure that men have done that with me, but I'm supposed to be okay with it. This statement is true but only to those men who seek average and below average-looking women. If he wants a really beautiful woman with those kinds of qualities, he'll be single nearly forever. And what about falling in love with a less attractive woman, and growing more attracted to her as you do so, thus considering her more beautiful than you did at the outset? You don't think that can happen?
Kamille Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 Do you really think I tell girls I'm interested in that the only thing I care about is them not being fat, psycho or ugly? And no, that is not why girls pass me up. Imagine you wake up one day and two women are interested in you. One has decided she's ready to settle and doesn't think she can do better than you. She doesn't tell you this, but you have no indication that you two have much in common since she doesn't really care about that. The other is genuinely interested in who you are and this is demonstrated by how she jokes with you, pays attention to you and interacts with you. Which one is most likely to get your intention? Which offer are you more likely to accept? Now flip the script. We have one lady, not fat, not ugly and not psycho. She gets approached by two men (and hey, according to the guys on LS, she'll get approached at least 4 times while taking out the garbage). One is just interested in her because she's not fat, no ugly and not psycho. He'd settle for her because he deems himself desperate. The other is interested in getting to know her to see if they're compatible for a long term relationship. He's choosing her because he sees elements of compatibility, namely their sense of humor or the way they interact. Who do you think she's going to pick? Can't wait to see how you rationalize it away this time.
Anela Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 (where has V been anyway? anyone know? have not seen her around lately) Taking a break, as far as I know. 1
Kamille Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 why are there so many more men who reach older ages as virgins? Stats on this?
somedude81 Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 Imagine you wake up one day and two women are interested in you. One has decided she's ready to settle and doesn't think she can do better than you. She doesn't tell you this, but you have no indication that you two have much in common since she doesn't really care about that. The other is genuinely interested in who you are and this is demonstrated by how she jokes with you, pays attention to you and interacts with you. Which one is most likely to get your intention? Which offer are you more likely to accept? Now flip the script. We have one lady, not fat, not ugly and not psycho. She gets approached by two men (and hey, according to the guys on LS, she'll get approached at least 4 times while taking out the garbage). One is just interested in her because she's not fat, no ugly and not psycho. He'd settle for her because he deems himself desperate. The other is interested in getting to know her to see if they're compatible for a long term relationship. He's choosing her because he sees elements of compatibility, namely their sense of humor or the way they interact. Who do you think she's going to pick? Can't wait to see how you rationalize it away this time. Why do you assume that the guy who just wants somebody who is not not fat, ugly or psycho isn't going to try to get to know and joke around and play with her? Frankly it just seems that he'd be flirty with everybody and just go with whomever likes him the most.
somedude81 Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 (edited) i'm a virgin at 40. thewatcher and elbrujo are at least 40 and virgins and i saw some others older man virgins but not yet 40 while browsing. i haven't been here long. you have. can you name female virgins who post here who are 40 or more? Women who are 30+ and a virgin do not exist in the western world. Unless they have some major extraneous circumstances going on. Also, women who have never had a boyfriend are equally as rare. Edited July 18, 2012 by somedude81
Kamille Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 Why do you assume that the guy who just wants somebody who is not not fat, ugly or psycho isn't going to try to get to know and joke around and play with her? Frankly it just seems that he'd be flirty with everybody and just go with whomever likes him the most. Flat out: would you rather be chosen for who you are or chosen because you're the person who likes the other more than anyone else? Which would flatter you the most? 1
Kamille Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 i'm a virgin at 40. thewatcher and elbrujo are at least 40 and virgins and i saw some others older man virgins but not yet 40 while browsing. i haven't been here long. you have. can you name female virgins who post here who are 40 or more? This site is not a fair representation of reality. But if you do manage to produce real life stats that this is a new and emergent trend in society, here's an explanation: Since, according to many here, men will have sex with just about anyone, it's much easier for women to lose their virginity. Does that make it easier to date or find love? No, not, if again, we refer to all the threads on here where women panicked about the idea of "having slept with someone too soon" and worrying that their date will therefore lose respect for them. I'm sorry if your virginity causes you suffering, btw. 1
somedude81 Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 Flat out: would you rather be chosen for who you are or chosen because you're the person who likes the other more than anyone else? Which would flatter you the most? That question is irrelevant. It's stupid for a man to play favorites. Just because a guy likes girl A more than girl B, does not mean that girl A is going to go out with him. Lets say that while the guy likes girl A more, girl B likes him more than A does. Because he'd rather be with a girl than alone, he goes out with B. Then one night B asks him about A and which girl he liked the most. He'd have to be a total idiot to say that he really wanted A. In other words, he will make B think that she was chosen for who she is, but in reality it was not the case. And of course I'm not saying that the guy can't fall for and care about B.
Kamille Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 That question is irrelevant. The question isn't irrelevant. You just don't want to admit you would rather be with someone who wants to be with you for who you are. Apply the same logic to women and you'll understand why your lack of criteria is causing you more harm than good. 1
Kofybean Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 And I'm telling you that you're mistaken. The numbers are the same. They have to be .... You can prove this on a sheet of paper like this: Draw 20 pink dots....Draw 20 blue dots...Now draw lines....Now tear the paper in half vertically down the middle. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! This so funny. I love it. I mean, you just revolutionized mathematical proofs. Who could possibly dispute such sound logic? 1
somedude81 Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 The question isn't irrelevant. You just don't want to admit you would rather be with someone who wants to be with you for who you are. Apply the same logic to women and you'll understand why your lack of criteria is causing you more harm than good. Kamille, did you read and understand my response? I'll state it plainly. Of course I would rather be with somebody who wants to be with me for who I am. And I know women believe the same way. And I know better than to let a girl I was in relationship believe that she was anything other than my top choice. I don't understand how a lack of criteria is hurting me. Do you think I go around telling women that I'm desperate and want anybody with a vagina who would let me sleep with them?
Kamille Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 Kamille, did you read and understand my response? I'll state it plainly. Of course I would rather be with somebody who wants to be with me for who I am. And I know women believe the same way. And I know better than to let a girl I was in relationship believe that she was anything other than my top choice. I don't understand how a lack of criteria is hurting me. Do you think I go around telling women that I'm desperate and want anybody with a vagina who would let me sleep with them? A man doesn't have to tell women he's desperate to give off the vibe he's desperate. I read and understand your responses. I also understand you choose not to believe your attitude here likely shines through in real life situations. I hope you never find yourself in a relationship with anyone but your top choice. That choice may evolve. In the course of dating someone may grow on you. But when you do make it to a relationship, that better be because you believe that one woman is your best match, not because she's the only one who will have you.
jobaba Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 i'm a virgin at 40. thewatcher and elbrujo are at least 40 and virgins and i saw some others older man virgins but not yet 40 while browsing. i haven't been here long. you have. can you name female virgins who post here who are 40 or more? El Brujo is a virgin? Is that accurate? I can help you guys ... probably more than anybody else here. Create a thread, or PM with your scenarios and I will help. I don't really have time to be on LS in the near future, but that never seems to stop me. Uuuuuggggh.
jobaba Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 I've never said that all men do that. I was just responding to someone earlier, who seemed to think that all women do that. I don't know how many times I've been called a liar on this board, when I point out certain truths from my own life - just like V. Anyway, I'm not in the mood to deal with the attitude, so I'm gone for now. No biggie. We all say negative, generalized things about the opposite sex in the heat of the moment. I know nobody here truly believes half of the stuff they say.
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