Necromancer Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 I was talking with few people to a girl who was in relationship. Few hours after she went single, she told us that 3 guys had asked her out and she was laughing at it. She is not some stunner nor has something special about her personality. Every girl i have talked to about this in the 5-7 (looks range), has always had options (at least few guys to choose from ) who are not some total losers or have a ****buddy meanwhile..... i know few decent looking guys who have never pulled gals. They are not socially awkward/weird/fat/ugly just guys who can be fun to hang around with and are average or a little above in looks. We are all in late teens, i just feel like there is something sketchy going on here......discuss?
USMCHokie Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 You're in your teens...wait til you're in your thirties, and you'll be changing your tune a little... 4
cheshire_cat Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 You're in your teens...wait til you're in your thirties, and you'll be changing your tune a little... Speaking as a female, I second this statement. 1
Pyro Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 As far as the initial stage of dating (the asking out part) yes women do have it easier as guys generally do most of the asking out. As far as the rest of dating goes (finding someone compatible with you/getting rid of the losers) then no, women do not have it easier. It is level playing ground at that point. 6
mortensorchid Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 I have heard my guy friends say this, that it's easier for women. All you have to do is bat your eyes and some dude will come to your beck and call. Well, yes, it can be that easy because no matter how old you are there will always be guys around you who are thinking with their other head and will always come after you if it's for sex. But, is that what you want? Chances are that's not what you want, you want something better than that. Even a little bit better than that. If that's what you're all about, then don't complain about it. I had a female friend who was just about the most promiscuous person I'd ever met. She would be with ANYONE, even telling me once that she had been with people she didn't even like. Why? She could not say no, she wanted to be liked that badly. Needless to say, no one took her seriously. So that's why it's easy for women, but if you are looking for something with more substance, then it's just as hard. 1
Author Necromancer Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 You're in your teens...wait til you're in your thirties, and you'll be changing your tune a little... True, most women 37+ look like a garbage. i will be fabulous in my thirties. ;-)
Bob_Funk Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 That's the understatement of the century. Girls have it INFINITELY easier than guys do during their prime sex years (which is what really counts). A guy must: - lift weights while maintaining little to no body fat - play the numbers game like mad, to the exclusion of almost everything else in life - not be pushy when it comes to sex but be able to perform like a pornstar once the girl's ready (assuming he even manages to get a girl) A girl doesn't have to a thing. She can sit back, take it easy, and laugh as every guy she comes into contact with stumbles to win her approval. The world's her oyster.
Sugarkane Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 This is a joke right? Most of the guys who have contacted me online, I'm not even interested in. I'm 25 and quite are few who have contacted me are 40+ which is not what I wanted. It's not easier. I ended it with someone recently as he lied that he wanted a relationship to get sex. This is what really *hits me about guys. Then I'm blamed here it was my fault for doing the deed to soon. But also guys say on here they won't wait long. Huge catch 22 or what? So what am I supposed to do. Huge contradictory advice here! Yeah women can pull if they want, but it's much, much more difficult to try and find a relationship. I'm 25 and my coworkers are always asking me why I'm not married/ getting pregnant yet. Yet also everyone here thinks if you missed having kids by your 30s it was your fault. But they tell me not to settle! 1
ColoredBlack Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 hmmmm I dont know about that. Its more like 5X.
sooniechan Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 I tend to agree with the OP. Though I think I'm just not average or something because that was not my experience at all. I've been asked out a total of 1 time in my life lol. I'm 20 for reference and I don't think I'm hideous or anything.
Sugarkane Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 It's not easier if you want more than just sex. 1
USMCHokie Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 This is a joke right? Most of the guys who have contacted me online, I'm not even interested in. I'm 25 and quite are few who have contacted me are 40+ which is not what I wanted. It's not easier. I ended it with someone recently as he lied that he wanted a relationship to get sex. This is what really *hits me about guys. Then I'm blamed here it was my fault for doing the deed to soon. But also guys say on here they won't wait long. Huge catch 22 or what? So what am I supposed to do. Huge contradictory advice here! Yeah women can pull if they want, but it's much, much more difficult to try and find a relationship. I'm 25 and my coworkers are always asking me why I'm not married/ getting pregnant yet. Yet also everyone here thinks if you missed having kids by your 30s it was your fault. But they tell me not to settle! It's all a matter of perspective. Many men associate dating and relationships with sex, so if you can have sex, then you are successful at dating and relationships. Since they perceive that women can get sex almost effortlessly, then they conclude that women have it easier with dating and relationships. It's a valid conclusion based on the man's perspective. On the other hand, many women will associate dating and relationships with commitment that leads to marriage and kids. If you find a good man who can provide both support and excitement in your life, then you are successful. However, that's a very arduous task, especially in the modern dating environment. So it's a valid belief from women that they don't have it easier than men. 5
USMCHokie Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 The grass is always greener on the other side. Indeed. Men can speculate into the minds of women all day, and women can speculate into the minds of men all day, but one will never reach true empathy and understanding of the other. But if everyone understood this concept, we would no longer have gender wars here...and that's just ridiculous to even think about...
somedude81 Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Only twice as much? Ha, yeah right! You're in your teens...wait til you're in your thirties, and you'll be changing your tune a little... Eh, any woman who is still trying to date in her 30's has obviously made some mistakes. Unless she married a decent guy who turned out to be a psycho. Also, telling guys that it will get easier in their 30's is not very encouraging. "You're only 18 years old, hang in there for 12 to 15 more years of sexless loneliness and depression, then it will all work out." How can anybody be relived by hearing that?
oaks Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 This is a joke right? Sadly not. It's a commonly held belief by guys who can't get dates. Most of the guys who have contacted me online, I'm not even interested in. I'm 25 and quite are few who have contacted me are 40+ which is not what I wanted. Does your profile say what you do want? Lots of online sites let you specify an age range, and some let you restrict who can message you to exclude those ages you don't want... so if you're not doing those things then you'll get messages from guys who couldn't read your mind. 1
udolipixie Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 In my opinion dating is easier as in having more options for gals when they are young balanced out by dating being easier as in having more options for guys when they are old. Bit curious if guys who have never pulled gals are 'decent looking' by male standards or female standards. In my experience guys tend to be very lenient on how they judge male attractiveness (human looking, not fat) and extremely critical on how they judge female attractivness (facial features, body shape, age, weight). Also curious if you considered that your opinion of them not being socially awkward/weird/fat/ugly may be different from the gals they attempted to pull. 2
USMCHokie Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 In my opinion dating is easier as in having more options for gals when they are young balanced out by dating being easier as in having more options for guys when they are old. Agree. Bit curious if guys who have never pulled gals are 'decent looking' by male standards or female standards. In my experience guys tend to be very lenient on how they judge male attractiveness (human looking, not fat) and extremely critical on how they judge female attractivness (facial features, body shape, age, weight). Also curious if you considered that your opinion of them not being socially awkward/weird/fat/ugly may be different from the gals they attempted to pull. I don't think men have very much occasion to judge male attractiveness...so the process probably isn't as involved or comprehensive as the process for judging female attractiveness...so I don't think the distinction means much... And I have no idea what you're asking in the bolded above...
udolipixie Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 I don't think men have very much occasion to judge male attractiveness...so the process probably isn't as involved or comprehensive as the process for judging female attractiveness...so I don't think the distinction means much... And I have no idea what you're asking in the bolded above... The distinction likely means much if guys judging of male attractiveness isn't as involved or comprehensive as their judging of female attractiveness. The OP thinking the guys are decent looking means little and may differ from gals opinion if guys are usually very lenient on judging male attractiveness. In the bolded I'm curious to if the OP considered that his opinion of the decent looking guys not being socially awkward/weird/fat/ugly may be different from the gals the guys attempted to pull. Quite unsure how that was confusing for you considering how the first sentence would clarify who I mean by 'them' and 'they'. 1
USMCHokie Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 The distinction likely means much if guys judging of male attractiveness isn't as involved or comprehensive as their judging of female attractiveness. The OP thinking the guys are decent looking means little and may differ from gals opinion if guys are usually very lenient on judging male attractiveness. In the bolded I'm curious to if the OP considered that his opinion of the decent looking guys not being socially awkward/weird/fat/ugly may be different from the gals the guys attempted to pull. Quite unsure how that was confusing for you considering how the first sentence would clarify who I mean by 'them' and 'they'. Ok...I think I get what you're trying to say...and yes, I would agree that two people (regardless of gender) may have different opinions of another person's attractiveness. I bolded the "if" above because it's difficult to say with certainty whether men are "very lenient" on judging male attractiveness. And pronouns combined with the sentence structure made it a bit confusing...
monkey00 Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Be careful what you wish for...I'm a guy and I know it's not easy being a woman. Think of all the things you have to deal with as a woman versus being a guy. For a guy it's kind of a walk in the park for most things. 1
madjac74 Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Most guys think it would be awesome to constantly be hit on by the opposite sex. Most women I know find it annoying 4
udolipixie Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Ok...I think I get what you're trying to say...and yes, I would agree that two people (regardless of gender) may have different opinions of another person's attractiveness. I bolded the "if" above because it's difficult to say with certainty whether men are "very lenient" on judging male attractiveness. And pronouns combined with the sentence structure made it a bit confusing... Quite unsure why you bolded the 'if' for that reason as I think the 'if' itself would be stating it's a toss up as to whether guys are very lenient on judging male attractiveness.
USMCHokie Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Quite unsure why you bolded the 'if' for that reason as I think the 'if' itself would be stating it's a toss up as to whether guys are very lenient on judging male attractiveness. It is a tossup. Depends on the individual, not the gender.
udolipixie Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 It is a tossup. Depends on the individual, not the gender. I know it is a tossup as nowhere did I state otherwise in fact I'm pretty sure that 'it's a toss up' means 'it is a tossup'. Seems you have the impression I was stating otherwise thus 'if' and it is a tossup needed to be clarified quite unsure why or how but it is amusing.
DjinnAgain Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 In life I haven't noticed what udolopixie said, but on here it seems to be the case... The standards of judging female attractiveness much harsher than the men. Almost every dateless guy on here considers themselves fairly attractive, but god help the woman who thinks of herself as more than a troll that men are simply willing to throw a bone... She's just been able to date men for long term relationships her whole life despite the ugly stick that smacked her so many times. It's so unfair! Women might have more immediately apparent options, partially because men tend to be the aggressors. We also have to deal with worrying guys are not being genuine to get what they want. Getting an initial date might be easier, but a relationship is harder. What Hokie said is completely right, too. Part of it is just being open, though, for either gender, and not letting yourself be torn up by what you perceive. That will turn people off. I have not had a problem finding relationships in my life. Neither has my ex husband (If anything, he has had it easier than me.). My boyfriend has had more problems after he got caught up in what women are - I would have turned away realizing that if we had not been friends first and I learned he was an amazing person. 1
Recommended Posts