bobsmith76 Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 PLEASE, NO COMMENTS FROM GUYS, THIS IS A QUESTION FOR WOMEN Ok, 11 years ago I decided that I didn't our culture's current sleazy promiscuity and that sex should be more special than people view it. I decided to give up sex until I got married. It's been 11 years and now I'm afraid to tell women about it initially because I'm afraid they're ashamed of themselves for not being as committed to it as I am or that they think I'm a bit too abnormal for their taste. I'm not interested in marrying a virgin or anything like that because it's simply too hard to find and I'm more worried about a woman's intelligence than I am sexual purity. I would simply be ridiculous to demand that my partner equal me in this regard. So my question is, would you be turned off if the guy that was interested in you had 11 years of celibacy?
greenchic Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 hello! you ask a good question and I assume the answer is no theres no such thing as too much celibacy (im about 6months in myself but its mainly because i dont have a boyfriend) but it may be helpful to find a partner with similiar intentions of waiting till marriage. Dont be too surprised if some women find your "virgin" status quite sexy and hope to break your 11 year hiatus. Congrats on that by the way....
amaysngrace Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 yea everything in moderation is a healthier approach.
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Not at all, I find it admirable. That being said, I couldn't date you merely because I do believe in having sex before getting married. 1
carhill Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Just like my advice with the virginity issue, one's personal sexual choices are private business. It's not necessary to share such information. That said, a long period of celibacy can affect the fluidity of one's sexual skills. Just like anything, such skills can become rusty from lack of use. If such is the case, one might not have healthy play in a casual sex/ONS situation but shouldn't have marked issues in a LTR situation which becomes intimate, as there will be focus on other aspects than just the raw sex. So, hence, I would call too much celibacy a limited liability, dependent upon one's relationship style. With a compatible person, I seriously doubt it to be a long-lasting liability. If I meet such a person, I'll update that. 3
mortensorchid Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Well, on one hand I say to you that it's wonderful that you have decided and stuck to this choice. I assume that you have dated some women since this decission was made, how have they reacted to this? It seems like they have reacted negatively. But maybe you should try to find women who have also made this decission. Maybe a church group or something? Because the average person is not going to accept this. Eventually it comes up. Save for those you have one time encounters with (coffee, dinner, etc.) do you tell them this immediately?
CarrieT Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 It would be a red flag for me, but I am an overtly sexual person. I am also not a Christian so I don't have the ethic of keeping one's self pure for marriage or anything.
Author bobsmith76 Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 I assume that you have dated some women since this decission was made, how have they reacted to this? Actually, I haven't dated any American women. I only date someone if I really think there is a future between us. I did date three Jordanian women but I'm pretty sure I did not tell them about it. I think Mona might have asked me. I recall her asking me something important and it was real dramatic but I can't remember if it was about that. But maybe you should try to find women who have also made this decission. No, that would be narrowing down my possibilities way too much. I have difficulty just getting a date. I only had 3 dates last year and none of those made it to the second date. And this in spite of the fact that about half of the emails I receive on okcupid tell me I'm handsome. Even the ones that tell me I'm handsome, ultimately they're not interested. I don't know what's wrong. do you tell them this immediately? No, I don't. I used to have it advertised on my okcupid profile but I took it down because I thought it was scaring women away.
Kcelleste Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 (edited) No, not at all. I think it’s honorable. I’m currently dating a guy who is celibate but when we met I already made the decision to abstain as well. It was truly refreshing to date someone with out the pressure for a sexual relationship. My date stated that it seem to turn women on when they realized that he was celibate. They liked the challenge so it was hard for him to find a woman to respect his wishes. I would not be turned off from dating you because of your long term celibacy. I admire your self respect and self control. I would support and encourage you in your choice. I wouldn’t feel comfortable with sex with you unless we were married or in a committed relationship. btw, I like your pic. I think your attractive;) Edited July 19, 2012 by Kcelleste
El Brujo Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 To add my own personal slant by re-phrasing the question: Would women find it a turn-off if I not only have no problem with my male virgin status, but like Rhett Butler in gone With The Wind, I don't give a damn?
newmoon Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 i would not be turned off, especially if you stated your reasons and we were able to discuss it and such. it sounds like you did it for a great reason and that would be welcome, at least from this woman. and hiding it won't help - oddly, it's fairly easy to tell when a guy is/is not sexually experienced
Leopard Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Woah mama!!! I would be incredibly turned on!! A man who can control it for THAT long? And for these incredible reasons? Wow! Makes me wonder what other powers he has
venusianx13 Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 It wouldn't turn me off at all. I think it's beautiful. To the right woman, it won't matter (at least not in a bad way).
SmileFace Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 It wouldn't turn me on nor turn me off. I am more worried about where sexual purity will get anyone.I don't see the point unless its religious which will be something I wouldn't want to deal with anyway. However to each their own. Plus I don't find it honorable ... Honorable to what? 2
cyrus9 Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Move to Pakistan or Afghanistan where a woman's virginity is still a requirement for marriage.
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