StrangeBehaviors Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 Do you burn bridges at the end of relationships? I am usually like "You are dead to me and have ceased to exist. Treat me like a dead stranger from this point forward." Yourself?
Dblock10 Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 if thats how you get on with things sure! I've done that once, although not verbally expressed it like that. recently not done things that way, and they did come back a year on. but since have left again due to moving country.. its hard either way. i think it depends on the situation and things..
todreaminblue Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 Do you burn bridges at the end of relationships? I am usually like "You are dead to me and have ceased to exist. Treat me like a dead stranger from this point forward." Yourself? I have had two relationships formed from firm and close friendships and they have returned to friendships that are strong and supportive...not saying i dont get pissed but its not in me to burn bridges with people that have become part of my life....its a bit conditional love to burn bridges dont piss me off too much or your dead to me is a condition........imo...but then i have only had two relationships...deb 1
fucpcg Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 I have had two relationships formed from firm and close friendships and they have returned to friendships that are strong and supportive...not saying i dont get pissed but its not in me to burn bridges with people that have become part of my life....its a bit conditional love to burn bridges dont piss me off too much or your dead to me is a condition........imo...but then i have only had two relationships...deb And you are the kind of girl I would date. I refuse to date any woman who's ex's are apparently all horrible people that she never should have been with. Talk about RED FLAG. 1
KatZee Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 And you are the kind of girl I would date. I refuse to date any woman who's ex's are apparently all horrible people that she never should have been with. Talk about RED FLAG. Why is this a red flag? Are you saying women should accept being treated like garbage? I've cut out two of my exes. Only one remains my friend to this day. To the ones that i've burned bridges with, they were chronic liars, cheaters, made me hate myself, criticized me, put me down, disrespected me, made me feel worthless, like I was on egg shells all the time. These people took advantage of me, took me for granted, abused everything I gave to them emotional, physical, mental and otherwise. Why THE HELL would, or should someone put up with that and keep them in their life??? Why would I want this person in my life? Yes. A few of my exes ARE HORRIBLE PEOPLE and I couldn't care less that they were part of my life at that point. They are liars and I didn't realize the full extent until after the relationship was over. I personally ended on a "good" note with my last ex, only to have him come back after two months NC saying how there was "no us" and essentially everything he told me when he dumped me was a load of BS (he loved me, wanted to start fresh, cared for me, wanted to be my friend, I was so amazing, what we had was amazing, blah freaking blah.) Bridges? BURNT. Goodbye, good riddance, would care to never see/hear/think of you again. It's sad but there's no way I'd allow that toxicity in my life for one second more. 1
fucpcg Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Why do you date people that treat you like garbage? I don't. The persons post I commented said she dated good friends. If you have a long history of dating bad men, I hate to break this to you but that is your fault, not theirs.
KatZee Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Why do you date people that treat you like garbage? I don't. The persons post I commented said she dated good friends. If you have a long history of dating bad men, I hate to break this to you but that is your fault, not theirs. I don't date people that treat me like garbage. Hence why bridges are burned. Some people are just are EXCEPTIONAL at pretending to be something they aren't. And by the time you realize what they actually are, you're well into the relationship.
fucpcg Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 I don't date people that treat me like garbage. Hence why bridges are burned. Some people are just are EXCEPTIONAL at pretending to be something they aren't. And by the time you realize what they actually are, you're well into the relationship. If that describes EVERY person you dated, then the problem is you, not them. Which goes back to what I have said, if every relationship you have ever had is with some guy who is a monster, that you now hate and refuse to talk to....
KatZee Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 (edited) If that describes EVERY person you dated, then the problem is you, not them. Which goes back to what I have said, if every relationship you have ever had is with some guy who is a monster, that you now hate and refuse to talk to.... I didn't say it describes EVERY person I dated, just two of the guys I dated. One is still a good friend, another we just lost touch and don't speak. But I don't have any ill will towards him. I also don't think it's a woman's fault if a guy is a master con-artist and makes himself into something he's not. There are the typical red flags to look out for, and then there are the people that just really know what they're doing. The people that get destroyed by these people are always the kind, goodhearted, warm, giving individuals. I wouldn't say that there's something 'wrong' with me because I am that way. I'm not going to become some cold-hearted bi*ch just because someone took advantage of that. The problem is NOT me, or other women who get the short end of the stick from people like that, the problem is that there are many sick individuals to like to mind f*ck others. Edited July 16, 2012 by KatZee
fucpcg Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 I know that people can trick you, I get it. I was saying that someone who's entire past they refer to as those lousy bastards, red flag. My last dating experience, yeah I had to cut her off, she's diagnosed bipolar, and I tought I could deal with it, I was wrong. She was a nightmare. However outside of her, I usually have amicable splits from long term relationships. We all have our bad ones, myself included, but I am warning you any guy that you meet who talks about how horrible all his exgirlfriends are.... beware.
Radu Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 Depends on the situation, but if she treated me well, and we broke up because of other factors ... no, though i do my best to 'de-sexualize' them in my mind. Still, all this means to me at best is saying 'hi' when you see them down the street or a quick chat at best.
todreaminblue Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 I don't date people that treat me like garbage. Hence why bridges are burned. Some people are just are EXCEPTIONAL at pretending to be something they aren't. And by the time you realize what they actually are, you're well into the relationship. One of the reasons i haven't had a toxic relationship is because i have only dated friends who I have known both were over a year before i considered being intimate.....we had the same interests goals intellect same passion for helping others..same goofy sense of humor.. i feel for you ..i dont think there could be any worse feeling than being fooled by someone into thinking they are wonderful and they turn out to be a gronk.......one of the reasons i dont date outside of my friends circle is that i have to really know someone and have them really know me and the relationships progresses or doesnt .....i dont believe in love at first sight .....either way my relationships have been long term......one for three and a half years the other for fifteen and some.....both guys cheated........but since the relationships werent purely based on sex they remain my friends...it takes two to tango and i had my part to play in both not working out...i am not easy to be in a relationship with......that's why friendship is the best way to go for me.....if you havent tried friendship first you should..... it does and can work.....if a man can handle a year long friendship you have to know there is something special there.....and you avoid the toxic gronks.....who normally show their true colours at the six month or thereabouts mark..........toxic guys are lucky that i am not into dating......i make a mean pal pedigree meatloaf..with marrowbone gravy......smilin.....i hope you meet an exceptional man one day who makes the gronks that sucked, a distant memory......best wishes.....deb
Sugarkane Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 And you are the kind of girl I would date. I refuse to date any woman who's ex's are apparently all horrible people that she never should have been with. Talk about RED FLAG. Why does every ex have to be your friend? I find that odd. Are they an ego boost? Ate they there to prove to new women that you're a good guy? I know slot of guys have exes as harems, just to boost their ego. What do new gf's think of that? Do they get jealous? Sone exes really don't deserve having as friends. Your meant to move on at some point.
Els Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 One of the reasons i haven't had a toxic relationship is because i have only dated friends who I have known both were over a year before i considered being intimate.....we had the same interests goals intellect same passion for helping others..same goofy sense of humor.. Yup, ditto. I'm at acquaintance-level contact with my exes. I do think firm and strong boundaries should be drawn, especially once you are with someone else, but that doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with interacting within those boundaries. Sure, a lot of it depends on how the R ended, but my failed Rs dissolved because of incompatibilities or extenuating circumstances, not because I was 'treated like garbage', so it made sense to not burn bridges. I agree that if ALL of someone's exes treated them so horribly that they would never talk to them for the rest of their lives, there is likely something off with that person or his/her people-picker.
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 I burned the bridge with my most recent ex and couldn't be happier I found friendship with exs to always be a giant mind f...
todreaminblue Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 Yup, ditto. I'm at acquaintance-level contact with my exes. I do think firm and strong boundaries should be drawn, especially once you are with someone else, but that doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with interacting within those boundaries. Sure, a lot of it depends on how the R ended, but my failed Rs dissolved because of incompatibilities or extenuating circumstances, not because I was 'treated like garbage', so it made sense to not burn bridges. I agree that if ALL of someone's exes treated them so horribly that they would never talk to them for the rest of their lives, there is likely something off with that person or his/her people-picker. I think boundaries are important.....I have defined lines......if i needed help or a shoulder to cry on these exes would be there for me..amd i am there for them.....but they dont have my undivided attention anymore..i do have a life of my own to catch..... i have friends whose people pickers are a bit askew.....and i am there as a friend with ice cream and a box of kleenex to go through the rough spots.....i think they have to learn by their own mistakes......but everybopdy makes mistakes....some people hit repeat too many times.....the eternal optimists....next time its gonna be great....the land of the gonna be great........which is also me too, i am an optimist when it comes to friends just not toxic ones .....the dating sphere is out for me...i havent needed to burn a bridge....i just have a passion for building them............deb
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