h2ojoy Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 our 2 year relationship ended on july 3rd. this was one of the most painful experiences i've ever had. i haven't been able to sleep, eat without wanting to throw up, and have had anxiety all day. sometimes i would burst out crying out of nowhere and sob for five minutes. i'm grieving. i went to visit her last tuesday. i bought her a rose and a gift. surprisingly i bumped into her on the street, which she ran and tried to avoid me. i approached her calmly and she told me to leave. she kept asking "why are you doing this to me?" so i left. that was the last time i saw her. i am sober in recovery so my feelings of heartbreak are so strong. she actually called up a good friend of mine twice this week, asking what i was doing and stating that she's in a lot of pain. she has been self-medicating by drinking, and crying for most days. yesterday was supposed to be our 2 year anniversary, and it was incredibly difficult for her. apparently, she is scared to talk to me. she's afraid of commitment because i was never able to trust her. that's the reason why we broke up in the first place, lack of trust. that i understand, so i'm giving her space. what upset me the most is that i saw through a friend's Facebook that she posted an update stating that she's "done with being accused for wrong things and will go out and have 'fun'". she has a very vindictive personality, so we all assume she posted this out of anger. i know she wouldn't do such a thing. but now i feel like i'm putting the pieces together. maybe she's avoiding me and scared of seeing me because she DID do something and is afraid of losing me forever. does that make sense? this pain is so overwhelming.
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