ihateslowjams Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 Do you guys believe in such thing as fate? I never did before, but i began to believe in it after i met my current ex. I made huge mistakes in my life, i.e.: getting kicked out of college, partying like crazy, and drinking like a tank. Before these mistakes were made, i was an introvert and had a very difficult time talking to women, especially attractive ones and i was allergic to alcohol... -_- However, these mistakes introduced me to a new life and a new me, one that wasn't allergic anymore. I became much more sociable, more confident, and more "fun". How does that tie into fate meeting my ex? well... I never met her at these parties, BUT i did meet a friend who knew her. I was randomly looking at my friends profile and saw a picture of my ex, and thats when i decided i must chase her. She was originally from the other side of the large state i reside in and she was 3 years younger, but went to a university next to me. if i stayed the "correct" course while i was attending my original university, i would have remained an introvert, wouldn't have been able to talk to her ever, and not have any attractive qualities at all... We used to talk about how we were never supposed to meet one another and how crazy my mistakes have led me to her. We both agreed that it must have been fate that introduced us, but i explained i never believed it until this happened. We only had that ONE mutual friend and no one else... She didn't even like that mutual friend (lets call her kay) of ours, but for some reason she had a feeling she should hang out with kay. When they would hang out, kay would bring me along and we instantly hit it off. Now, we both are now gone from each other's lives. As if we never met before... I deactivated my Facebook and have been in NC for the past 5 weeks (BU 6 weeks) and there has been no attempt of breaking NC on her part (i only broke it with 1 final message on Facebook, but she did reply with 3 sentences...). If fate does exist, then what was the reason of both of us meeting each other? i just don't understand it... Do you guys have you own stories of fate?
january2011 Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 I believe that there is a cause and effect for everything that happens to us. I believe that when we look back at everything that happened, usually we can see the major steps leading up to it. Where I think it gets a bit "woo" is when we think about the probability of those things happening. I'm sure that professional statisticians and like will be able to produce some actual figures but as amateurs, we usually guestimate that the probabilty of X then Y then Z happening are low and therefore, "it must be fate." I think a bit of magical thinking is at play and we also re-write the story to suit our conclusions. From what I've experienced and observed, when people rail against fate, the outcome is usually negative and they don't want to believe that whatever they do, they cannot avoid it - a fictional example can be found in the Final Destination films where the characters try to prevent their own death. There are also some people who don't like the idea that there is an external force that "controls" their lives and therefore don't care about positive or negative outcomes, they're more focused on being free to choose their path. On a more personal note, I can look back at how I met each of my romantic partners and link (sometimes dubiously) the sequence of major events that led up to my being with my current SO. Is it fate? Maybe. I won't know if it was "meant to be" until I'm on my deathbed and there are no more loves to experience in my lifetime. I don't know why you and your ex met each other. What's important is that you did. Unfortunately, you broke up. I suspect that you're at the post-break-up phase where you have a lot of questions. You're trying to find the answers and make sense of what happened, where sometimes there is no sense and the answers are likely unsatisfactory. I think that all you can do is to accept that she was a part of your life. She taught you some things about love, relationships, women and most importantly about yourself. Hopefully, what you take away is useful in helping you to make future relationships more successful. 1
Author ihateslowjams Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 I think that all you can do is to accept that she was a part of your life. She taught you some things about love, relationships, women and most importantly about yourself. Hopefully, what you take away is useful in helping you to make future relationships more successful. yes you're right. It doesn't matter how it began, but what I've learned from it. I have learned much about my self these past couple weeks, more so then i have in my entire life. I need to focus on that and stop looking in the past... its just a lot harder than it sounds...
Gulf-Delta Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Well, you know my feelings on the whole "fate" thing. Fate may or may not exist. It really depends on your personal experience...either way it's unquantifiable and unanswerable. I believe there's fate, but I might just be crazy :/
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