magneet Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 hi everyone so i went onto NC with her, finally, yet i still get a random sms from her just saying that she had a bad day. i did not reply i had a great weekend with a very good friend of mine, we spoke a lot about me moving on and all. but now that i am back home it hurts so much. i have not looked at her fb, nor replied. but she is just on my mind, im anxious again, stressed, sad, wondering what she is doing, what she did the weekend, who was she with and basically just feel like crying. I feel really sad and down again. Like how i felt for the first two weeks where i just stayed in bed, crying. i thought i would be better - and this bad day, its really killing me... help? advise? ironically this weekend i was so positive that it wont affect me again.. hence i came back here to look for comfort.
Brokendude Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 Its a vicious cycle, a rollercoaster of emotion, i do feel bad coz i feel the same way, im always good w friends but once im alone its so brutal, its very tough but ur not alone, just hang tight when u hit the lows, keep writing on here and well all pick each other up
whoknows11 Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 hi everyone so i went onto NC with her, finally, yet i still get a random sms from her just saying that she had a bad day. i did not reply i had a great weekend with a very good friend of mine, we spoke a lot about me moving on and all. but now that i am back home it hurts so much. i have not looked at her fb, nor replied. but she is just on my mind, im anxious again, stressed, sad, wondering what she is doing, what she did the weekend, who was she with and basically just feel like crying. I feel really sad and down again. Like how i felt for the first two weeks where i just stayed in bed, crying. i thought i would be better - and this bad day, its really killing me... help? advise? ironically this weekend i was so positive that it wont affect me again.. hence i came back here to look for comfort. Im in the exact same spot as you. Minus my ex contacting me. I wish she did though. But i know she wont. This NC thing is really hard. But she contacted you. She thought of you enough to. Id say reply if you still have feelings for her. Just say whys that? But be careful though. If you dont want her back and just want to move on. Dont contact her.
bosox Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 I feel you. It's so hard. NC is to make YOU stronger. We are weak right now. Any contact or updates on their lives can destroy you. Be respectful but stay NC a bit longer. Even if you want her back it won't last until you are stronger. Remember that no one wants to be with a weak person. She wants to see you as the strong person like when you met. It's hard but give it a little more time to make yourself better. It'll be worth it!
Author magneet Posted July 15, 2012 Author Posted July 15, 2012 Mike: Okay, so what if I don't want to give up on her? Rob: You don't call. Mike: But you said I don't call if I wanted to give up on her. Rob: Right. Mike: So I don't call either way? Rob: Right. Mike: So what's the difference? Rob: There is no difference right now. See, Mike, the only difference between giving up and not giving up is if you take her back when she wants to come back. But you can't do anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back. Mike: So the only difference is if I forget about her or just pretend to forget about her? Rob: Right. Mike: Well that sucks. Rob: Yeah, it sucks. Mike: So it's just like a retroactive decision, then? I mean I could, like, forget about her and then when she comes back make like I just pretended to forget about her? Rob: Right. Although probably more likely the opposite. Mike: What do you mean? Rob: I mean at first you're going to pretend to forget about her, you'll not call her, I don't know, whatever... but then eventually, you really will forget about her. Mike: Well what if she comes back first? Rob: Mmmm... see, that's the thing, is somehow they know not to come back until you really forget. Mike: There's the rub. Rob: There's the rub. 1
Author magneet Posted July 15, 2012 Author Posted July 15, 2012 Its a vicious cycle, a rollercoaster of emotion, i do feel bad coz i feel the same way, im always good w friends but once im alone its so brutal, its very tough but ur not alone, just hang tight when u hit the lows, keep writing on here and well all pick each other up thanks broken, this forum really does help - thanks to everyone who mkaes it possible Im in the exact same spot as you. Minus my ex contacting me. I wish she did though. But i know she wont. This NC thing is really hard. But she contacted you. She thought of you enough to. Id say reply if you still have feelings for her. Just say whys that? But be careful though. If you dont want her back and just want to move on. Dont contact her. hey whoknows, ive had other trhreads explaining my situation. thanks for the input, here is a quick 20 sec summary of it. the thing is she wants me to move on with my life, she said im pushing her away with having contact - that she does love me, she is not in love with me and quite frankly does not knw if she wants to be with me. i know i give her good emotional support and all, thats why she contacts me. kind of having the best of both worlds. Be single and the support u have in a relationship. because i do want something in the future, that i want her back, thats why i am doing the NC. so that she realises that her life is different without me in it.. but i guess we all know how this ends... hehe.
Author magneet Posted July 15, 2012 Author Posted July 15, 2012 I feel you. It's so hard. NC is to make YOU stronger. We are weak right now. Any contact or updates on their lives can destroy you. Be respectful but stay NC a bit longer. Even if you want her back it won't last until you are stronger. Remember that no one wants to be with a weak person. She wants to see you as the strong person like when you met. It's hard but give it a little more time to make yourself better. It'll be worth it! hey bosox, thanks for the motivational words. it really does help. funny thing is that I know it, ,maybe we all know it, but its still damn tough and saddening. but everything will be fine again once one wakes up. (i moved to a new country, new city every few months, no real friends or support either - that makes the situation a bit tough for me. i mean usually one has got some kind of emotional support, friends or what. Now i have got Jim Beam and Skype haha)
bosox Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 Just find little things that make you happy right now. I know it's hard at first but you have to remember that you were happy when she was around NOT just because of her. Find those things again and time will be kinder to you. There was life before her and there will be life after her. If it works out later then that's great. This is a great time to get out of your comfort zone too. And trust me I am struggling with this new found loneliness too. Sitting around your place isn't going to make you feel better. Go meet new ppl and who knows you might find the next great chic in your life. Atleast go shopping or something. Just saying. 1
edelveis Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 these bad days are normal after a break up and they are a part of the healing process.i really know how you feel but try to get through these days without making something that you will regret like contacting her or something like that.just get through these days in any way you can.no matter how bad you feel and how much you pain be strong and show character.bad days have always an end.
Brokendude Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 Edelveis ur a voice of reason, i just wish all of us could just be free of this, but these r the things that will define the person we want to be, thank god for this forum and the great insights and motivation i get 1
Author magneet Posted July 15, 2012 Author Posted July 15, 2012 these bad days are normal after a break up and they are a part of the healing process.i really know how you feel but try to get through these days without making something that you will regret like contacting her or something like that.just get through these days in any way you can.no matter how bad you feel and how much you pain be strong and show character.bad days have always an end. Thanks for the motivation 1
Samilia Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 hi everyone so i went onto NC with her, finally, yet i still get a random sms from her just saying that she had a bad day. i did not reply i had a great weekend with a very good friend of mine, we spoke a lot about me moving on and all. but now that i am back home it hurts so much. i have not looked at her fb, nor replied. but she is just on my mind, im anxious again, stressed, sad, wondering what she is doing, what she did the weekend, who was she with and basically just feel like crying. I feel really sad and down again. Like how i felt for the first two weeks where i just stayed in bed, crying. i thought i would be better - and this bad day, its really killing me... help? advise? ironically this weekend i was so positive that it wont affect me again.. hence i came back here to look for comfort. It gets better, but I hope it gets better soon for you. Glad to hear you were about to talk about it with a good friend, try and plan more week ends like this one
Author magneet Posted July 15, 2012 Author Posted July 15, 2012 It gets better, but I hope it gets better soon for you. Glad to hear you were about to talk about it with a good friend, try and plan more week ends like this one Hi Sam Yes - its just I thought I could handle it better. I did not expect it to hit sbd influence me the way it did. Am really grateful for this forum - and the support. Thankfully I am pretty busy every weekend - but even gbfn I have to focus do that my mind does not only think about her.
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