Acrobaticdealer Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 It's been 7 weeks since the breakup 6 weeks since I last saw her Almost 2 weeks since I last contacted her. Post breakup I was a complete mess. Not only was I losing my 3 year relationship with the girl I love (year and a half we lived together) but she was also leaving the country. I mean it's just umbearable! The last contact was an email and it didn't go great. She replied to my email and said some things that really upset me. I promised myself that I would never contact her again and protect myself from feeling that way but I miss her so much! Does anyone have any bad experiences with breaking NC? Stories? Just something to STOP me! It's just so hard to live with someone and then nothing! Help
Gulf-Delta Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 Ask yourself this question: What is your objective in contacting her? What do you think the likely outcome will be?
Author Acrobaticdealer Posted July 15, 2012 Author Posted July 15, 2012 My objective is for her to just say something to me. Be friendly, tell me how she's getting on. I KNOW that's detrimental to my healing but its like a drug I can't live without. Why isn't she going through this!! ****s sake! The most likely outcome will be her not replying which will make me feel worse. I'm not gonna do it but I just wanted something to stop me. Anything! Thanks
Dblock10 Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 why did you break up why is she leaving? know that unless you can achieve what you want through contact, you are effectively committing emotional suicide
Gulf-Delta Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 The most likely outcome will be her not replying which will make me feel worse. I'm not gonna do it but I just wanted something to stop me. Anything! Thanks Exactly. There's your answer. You have no reasons to contact her because she'll hurt you.
fucpcg Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 Don't be a chicken $hit. If you have something to say, say it. People in here think that if something might cause you more pain, don't do it, be scared of it, run away from it. Maybe she said some things that were hurtful..... YEAH!?! It's a breakup. There are things I wish I didn't say to my ex in the heat of the ending. Doesn't mean I wasn't a good boyfriend, doesn't mean I don't love her, doesn't mean I don't feel bad about them. Anything I ever say, or a girl has said to me, at the moment of breakup, by default I toss out the window. I don't know your story, but if you want to be scared to open up your heart to your ex, then you've come to the perfect place, LS, where everyone is terrified of doing something that might not give them the result they were hoping for. You should make this decision of what went wrong, should you contact, do you have things to apologize for yourself, etc, and base your decision on that. NOT on OMG I might hurt more if I try to contact her. Trust me, the pain isn't any less when you go thru a breakup with someone you loved, by just simply not talking to them. The pain is the same no matter what you do.
WillFindMyWay79 Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 Do not do it! You are just going to get an unfavorable answer and will be even more depressed. Hold strong brethren, there are many people going through the same situation as you are. I thought everything was fine in my relationship, till one day, the rug was pulled from beneath me. But, the good news is, there are more fish in the sea!
fucpcg Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 PS - I went thru this 16 months ago with a brutal split with my ex. I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, in fact this is quite empathetic. I tried everything possible to get my ex to open up, it didnt' work, and I DON'T regret trying. She probably used my letters to laugh and show to her girlfriends, whatever. I was true to me and to the relationship. I let her throw it away if that was her choice, and it was, but some day she'll live with the regret that she did, and I will know I did all I could.
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