amythan Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 This is what my boyfriend told me. I do not know what to do, I am very confused. We are going out for a few months but he will leave to new zealand at he end of the year. For me it is very difficult to be invested if he is leaving, we do not have a future together. And he already told me that he has decided to leave and "he told me from the beginning". I do not want to go out with someone who holds back, who fights his feelings and will never be fully invested here. I really like him and every time I think he will leave it makes me cry and he gets upset. I hate to be this emotional person but I am scared of being hurt. On the other hand he is perfect so I do not feel ready to let him go now. I am mess and I do not know how to proceed. Should I break it off now or wait and see what happens in the future ?
Forever Learning Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 (edited) Let's see, it's July, and he's leaving at the end of the year, in 5 months. I vote let him go now, so you don't have 5 more months of misery and heartache. And, that's 5 more months you have of your life to do other things that will be better for you emotionally. I know it's hard. Good luck to you. Read all you can around here. You will feel less alone and distraught, and it may keep you busy while you heal. Cheers love. Hang in there dearheart. p.s. You say he's perfect, but nobody's perfect. And, he is far from perfect for you, if he is willing to leave you in several months and says he is not allowing himself to love you. Sounds like he's just using you for sex. Don't hang around for that if it's not what you want. You could find someone else who will love you and give you all the other great things you want and need physically as well. You can do it!! Edited July 15, 2012 by Forever Learning
FitChick Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 Why is he going to New Zealand? Can you move? It looks like a beautiful country. If you are together at the end of the year, you will know whether or not you want to be married. 1
Author amythan Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 He is back to his country after a few years in Europe. I do not consider moving there, we met here and my life is here and I do not feel that six months is enough to decide moving that far away. He acts as if he was really interested, always caring and making plans. He is very clear about being my boyfriend but if he is leaving I feel this makes little sense. Maybe I am unfair but I feel he is just enjoy my company during his last months here. We go out, travel together, cook, have sex but at the end of the day it is just a pass time right ?
Forever Learning Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 He is back to his country after a few years in Europe. I do not consider moving there, we met here and my life is here and I do not feel that six months is enough to decide moving that far away. He acts as if he was really interested, always caring and making plans. He is very clear about being my boyfriend but if he is leaving I feel this makes little sense. Maybe I am unfair but I feel he is just enjoy my company during his last months here. We go out, travel together, cook, have sex but at the end of the day it is just a pass time right ? Right, it does sound as if he is just passing time until the end of the year. Many men feel they need sex as much as air, food and water. They will do anything to ensure they have a supply. I am so sorry to say this, I am just trying to convey a certain mentality many men have. We are not that far removed/evolved from the animal kingdom after all, look at male animals, they fight to the death with each other for sex with females. I think you should dump him now and move on. All the best to you, chin up, and keep busy to get through this.
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