BrokenMirror Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 I have decided to start day one of NC. Again. For those of you who do not know my story, here it is: My ex broke up with me around five months ago because another guy kissed me while he and I were on a break. We dared for around three years and had a strong emotional connection. After we broke up, he went into NC mode. He ignored my calls and texts and believe me, I tried so hard to get him to talk. After a week I too went into NC. A few weeks ago a friend pushed me too break NC because he had been on my mind a lot. The breaking of NC led to us talking and I found that I felt depressed again. He has told me he loves me but does not want to date me. I love him too and I miss him. But I find that a lot of the things that used to cause fights are still here. We aren't dating but it feels like we are. My ex wants to meet up this week and has left it up to me to decide whether or not I want to see him. At this point I am conflicted. I miss him and I want to see him. But I'm angry at him for leaving me. I don't know what to do. I cannot hurt over him forever. So I'm initiated NC again.
Author BrokenMirror Posted July 15, 2012 Author Posted July 15, 2012 Here's a letter that I will never send to my ex. When I met you, I thought that you and I would be together forever. You made me believe in love because I felt for you like I had never felt for anyone else. You were my best friend and the person I trusted with everything. I gave you my heart, my soul and my love. I fought with my family for you. And then things started to change. You changed. Your anger became uncontrallable and you said things in rage that I never thought I would hear from you and once you were done, you would apologize and promise to never say stuff like it again and like the fool I am, I believed you. And then five months ago, you shattered my world and you shattered me. You broke up with me and you refused to listen to my words and what I had to say. And you came back into my life and I thought that maybe you and I could be together and that I was getting my bestfriend back. What I didn't see was that you were still the same angry person and the same conceited person. You have left me hurting again today and I'm realizing that I cannot let you keep hurting me. I've realized that I need to move on from you. You're not my love. I will always love you and I'm starting to learn how to live without you. WHat we had, I doubt I'll ever have it with someone else. But you keep hurting me and I keep letting you hurt me and it needs to stop. 1
WordvAction Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 At the very least you two need time apart to grow up. Not that you are immature, but things will not change for either of you until you start having new experiences
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