Socialising after breakup

[Acrobaticdealer]

I'm just on my way home from a night out with my friends and I've got to admit it. I feel horrible!

Every place we went to reminded me of my ex.

I tried so hard to just forget about her for tonight and try and enjoy myslef but I feel worse now than before I went out.

I kept the alcohol at a minimum so I didn't get drunk and depressed but I can't believe how sad I feel.

I just want to go home and cuddle up with her. Its all I want in the world!

I'd kill for it right now.

 

its been 7 weeks since the breakup and every weekend seems to be getting worse and worse.

It makes it worse to imagine her out on the weekend getting chatted up and getting with guys.

It just ****in breaks my heart!

 

I feel like crying in the taxi home. I don't care if I'm a wuss I just can't take this level of pain anymore. My body can't take it. I was heaving in the toilets before.

 

Everyone says to go out and try and socialise after a breakup but honestly, its made me feel so much worse. Should of stayed in and atleast I'd be asleep and away from this now

[tallydoo]

I'm just on my way home from a night out with my friends and I've got to admit it. I feel horrible!

Every place we went to reminded me of my ex.

I tried so hard to just forget about her for tonight and try and enjoy myslef but I feel worse now than before I went out.

I kept the alcohol at a minimum so I didn't get drunk and depressed but I can't believe how sad I feel.

I just want to go home and cuddle up with her. Its all I want in the world!

I'd kill for it right now.

 

its been 7 weeks since the breakup and every weekend seems to be getting worse and worse.

It makes it worse to imagine her out on the weekend getting chatted up and getting with guys.

It just ****in breaks my heart!

 

I feel like crying in the taxi home. I don't care if I'm a wuss I just can't take this level of pain anymore. My body can't take it. I was heaving in the toilets before.

 

Everyone says to go out and try and socialise after a breakup but honestly, its made me feel so much worse. Should of stayed in and atleast I'd be asleep and away from this now

 

It takes time. 7 weeks is not such a long time, especially if you were in a long-term relationship. You're allowed to hurt. What I found with my breakup was that it got worse before it got better; I started out crying maybe once every two days or so, but then I ended up sobbing my heart out on the floor for a good couple of hours a long time after the breakup, and then all of a sudden, one day, it didn't hurt so much. You just need time to grieve the relationship. Don't push yourself too hard to get over her.

[Mariana345]

I understand you sooooo well! I've been going out with my friends but almost every place has a memory of him!! I just wanted to leave this city, cause there are so many memories! But, of course, that's impossible... for now.

 

We have almost the same time, tomorrow it will be 6th week since BU, and still feeling down, and as you say, I would rather stay at home and sleep a little!

 

Every one of my friends keep telling me to forget about him, and do something for me, and go out, because he is probably doing it. But that is just not me! I want to stay home cause I feel sad, and at least I can cry at home.

 

I think we don't have to rush things, is our healing phase and we have to do it the way it'll work for us, at our own pace! Why do we need to start doing those things immediately, if we need to feel the pain, we should, because we then can take it out of our system. I know you need to recover your life, but step by step, and the way you can feel more comfortable at. Good luck, I'm with you

[Ponzzz]

What I would recommend is if you want to cry, cry. It's the body's most naturally emotionally healing process and over time you will start to feel better. Another thing you can do is stop thinking about what she's doing and believe me, I know it's hard. I wake up every morning after having dreams about my ex so I know how you feel on that one. Think about YOU! I cannot stress this enough. Once you start focusing on you, you will start to see things you never saw before and I will tell you now it's an amazing feeling .

 

Hope this helps bud!

[Acrobaticdealer]

Thanks for the replies everyone.

It makes it even worse that she's gone back home to Canada.

She won't have all these reminders on me there, apart from a few when i went on holiday.

Its like I've been left to deal with everything while she's beginning this new chapter in her life and I'm picking up the pieces.

 

Ive decided I'm not touching alcohol at all for the next few months until i can get a hold of this somehow.

 

I only had 4 beers last night and i feel horribly depressed today.

 

Losing someone you love is literally the worst thing in the world. Its even harder than someone dying i think. At least that is final and you know that they felt loved and lead a full life.

 

This heartbreak stuff is just ridiculous to deal with.

 

NEED to get a grip!!!

[Acrobaticdealer]

We have almost the same time, tomorrow it will be 6th week since BU, and still feeling down, and as you say, I would rather stay at home and sleep a little!

 

Every one of my friends keep telling me to forget about him, and do something for me, and go out, because he is probably doing it. But that is just not me! I want to stay home cause I feel sad, and at least I can cry at home.

 

I know, its kind of annoying because you're trying to put on a brave face while you're out and forcing yourself to have fun but in reality, you're dying inside.

 

Its also a real kick in the teeth that you don't know what your ex is up to.

Do you think the same as me? that their happy without you? having a great time and not thinking about you at all.

I try and trick myself into thinking they'll be just as sad as me but I'm the one who got dumped so i don't think it works like that.

To even get a text or email saying 'i miss you' would bring me back to life. just SOMETHING...anything

[Mariana345]

We have almost the same time, tomorrow it will be 6th week since BU, and still feeling down, and as you say, I would rather stay at home and sleep a little!

 

Every one of my friends keep telling me to forget about him, and do something for me, and go out, because he is probably doing it. But that is just not me! I want to stay home cause I feel sad, and at least I can cry at home.

 

I know, its kind of annoying because you're trying to put on a brave face while you're out and forcing yourself to have fun but in reality, you're dying inside.

 

Its also a real kick in the teeth that you don't know what your ex is up to.

Do you think the same as me? that their happy without you? having a great time and not thinking about you at all.

I try and trick myself into thinking they'll be just as sad as me but I'm the one who got dumped so i don't think it works like that.

To even get a text or email saying 'i miss you' would bring me back to life. just SOMETHING...anything

 

 

I don't know if he is happy. I know he is better than me, he is going to parties and went out with his "friends" (yeah, female), but since I know he was kind of dating the day before he dumped me and also paying for 2 at the movies the next weekends after BU, I believe he is not thinking about me.

 

I wanted to get any kind of contact with him too, but now, I'm scared to tell the truth. I really don't want "I miss you", but "I regret" and a apology, but that seems even more unlikely to happen...

 

But you know what? I realized that they are doing the things the wanted to do, so, I should do the same. I mean, I'm a home person, so I don't have to force myself to do the same as him, like partying. I just stayed home, read a book, coming here sometimes (cause made me feel that I'm not alone suffering in the world). Yesterday I went to check some japanese school, and next week I'm going to the beach with my dearly friend. He keeps appearing in my mind, but I know if I keep doing things at my own pace, things that would make ME feel better, I will be fine, I don't have to rush, and neither do you.

 

I'll tell you what made me feel a little at ease with me and my mind going around with him... I wrote this post http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/335557-while-writing-i-get-made-fool-me first to ask for advice of what to do, but as I was writing I realized that he doesn't worth that much of my time... At first we just remember the good things, but actually, they're not so great, even if they were good, they were not so perfect...

[Acrobaticdealer]

Does part of you not struggle with the proving your love/ giving them space ?

 

It sounds daft but I'm a bit of a romantic and she always liked the cheesy romantic stuff I did for her.

 

I'm actually in the process of writing/recording an album.

 

It was originally 'for her' but now it's sort of changed into just being 'about her' and maybe a bit of self medication with getting all my feelings of love/hurt/bitter sweetness out of my mind and on to something.

 

My plan is to keep NC until its finished and then hopefully by that time (2 months or so ) I can be in a better place emotionally.

 

I'll probably send it to her but be happy more in the fact that she knows how much she means to me an I've literally gone way over and above the norm to prove my love to someone. I'd be happy with myself more that anything.

 

I'm glad you're getting better andbive just read your post.

Keep everyone informed of your progress as you seem to be in a similair situation to me

[Mariana345]

Does part of you not struggle with the proving your love/ giving them space ?

 

It sounds daft but I'm a bit of a romantic and she always liked the cheesy romantic stuff I did for her.

 

I'm actually in the process of writing/recording an album.

 

It was originally 'for her' but now it's sort of changed into just being 'about her' and maybe a bit of self medication with getting all my feelings of love/hurt/bitter sweetness out of my mind and on to something.

 

My plan is to keep NC until its finished and then hopefully by that time (2 months or so ) I can be in a better place emotionally.

 

I'll probably send it to her but be happy more in the fact that she knows how much she means to me an I've literally gone way over and above the norm to prove my love to someone. I'd be happy with myself more that anything.

 

I'm glad you're getting better andbive just read your post.

Keep everyone informed of your progress as you seem to be in a similair situation to me

 

 

Yes, I'm struggling with that thought, because he told me he "wanted to know if he could miss me or if he could feel the same way", but he also said that I don't need him, that I was strong, almost as he needed to know his value for me. But also, one week later BU I sent him an email and he answered he finished the RS and just giving "time" won't work cause "he didn't feel capable to continue"

 

But when I'm thinking "call him, or send him something" I just have to remember what he said, and what he did to know that is not a good idea...

 

I think you should analyze what her wishes were and even what she did after your BU. But most of all if you can handle if things won't work as you wanted to.

 

I believe that if you can handle it then you should do it, because people regret more the things that didn't do than the things they did. At least you would find some peace, or have the best prize