Steen719 Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 It was frustrating originally but later humorous: When he lied to me and I called him on it....he would be so ticked off that I didnt believe him. Even if it made zero sense. I remember toward the end telling him....When you talk like that, it makes me think you shouldnt be driving. lol lol lol....:lmao:
2sure Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 Addressing ONLY certain types of affairs. I dont have a name for them - but you know what I mean: The affair enviroment is attractive in that either partner can be who they want or at least project an image of themselves that they either wish was real OR think the AP would like. And it isnt difficult since its only a part time hobby, its actually part of the fun - especially if you know no ones going anywhere. An affair thats just an extra, just a fun thing...would not be any fun if say...a MM admitted he wasnt a very good father or if OW told him he talked too much. At the same time...APs feel they have met their best friend or soul mate sometimes - because they think : No expectations, no need to Lie...but really its the bond of partners in crime. Again, not unattractive ...but not genuine either. And yes, definitely...a WS who is happy enough with the marriage - but becomes bored with themselves or just selfish - and decides an affair is just the ticket..... Starts to find fault where previously there was none. And then of course, there is. In my opinion, this is when they should stop driving. 2
Author frozensprouts Posted July 17, 2012 Author Posted July 17, 2012 FS, your thread title made me laugh out loud (but in a derisive way, not for humor) A few days after d-day, I was talking to a member of my H's family about what he had done. (yes, they also found out) I was lamenting about his continued weird behavior even though he had told me "the worst." I remember that particular family member saying, "if things don't make sense then there is a very good reason for that." I've always remembered this advice and paid heed to it. my kids don't tend to lie very often ,but when they do, they always wonder how i know... i told them that if what they are saying makes no sense, it's probably a lie... ( like the time one of them spilled ice tea on the floor...of course none of them did it:rolleyes:, and they tried to blame our parrot for it...that's desperation!)
Ninja'sHusband Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 (edited) Almost everything she told me that seemed off ended up being lies. It was uncanny. Before D-Day, I pushed it back and ignored everything. After D-Day I was highly suspicious but had trouble getting proof, though I eventually found it. (btw, we are now about 2 weeks into separation) Edited July 17, 2012 by Ninja'sHusband
DuckSoup Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 I'm probably just old, but whenever I see things that I think don't make sense I still try to keep a very open mind. I've seen a lot in my life, but I haven't seen everything. The world is a huge place with billions and billions of us, each with our own lives and thoughts. Just because something doesn't make sense to me personally doesn't mean I discount it. For example, belief in some guy watching over you who can see everything you do, hear everything you say, know everything you think, and who will richly reward you if you live a good life or harshly punish you if you live a bad life... well that doesn't make sense to me, but yet there are millions out there who blindly, in my opinion, believe in him (talking about Santa Claus by the way). I thought you were talking about Obama.
96nole Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 My idiot ex works at a bank. She opens and closes accounts all day long. For various reasons, we must of had 10-12 accounts at that bank. (I'm not kidding) I don't know how many times I asked her to close some off. Plus there were a few accounts that I didn't find out about until mediation. Back in Nov 2011 she told me she was going to open a checking and saving account at Chase. I asked why. She said it was because they have good rates. I thought it was weird and unneccesary to open more accounts at a different bank. But I remember the face she had when she told me. I said "OK whatever you think is best" After DDay#2, she started having all of her paychecks go into those accounts she opened at Chase. They were opened only in her name. She didn't know that I had the password to those accounts and could see what she was doing. In Feb 2012, a few days before Dday #2 she came home late from class. I asked why she was so late. She said it was because the teacher deceided to have the whole class to present their assignments instead of half that night and half the next class. I thought it was strange. The teacher didn't have them do that for the other assignments they had to present. I now know that night she wasn't at class at all. She was with the dirt bag. But again, the face she used when she was telling me was the same face she used when she when she told me about opening more bank accounts. Did either of her stories make sense? No Did I find out they were lies? yep Did she realize they were lies? OH HELL YES SHE DID! As I've run through my memory banks and matched that face she used to other times I saw it, boy, oh boy has she been lying for a while. And I don't question that she knew she was lying
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