kkk153 Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 Me and my boyfriend have been going out for just over 6 months.. We have a lot in common and care deeply for each other.. After about a month or so of going out we started telling each other that we loved each other.. I meant it, I am in love with him.. we talk pretty much every night on the internet and when each one of us would get off we'd say our 'I love you's'.. getting off the phone we'd do the same thing.. in person when we are alone and feeling kinda romantic and stuff we'd tell each other we loved one another and if we'd get in a fight we'd say it when we made up.. just last week when i was getting off of messenger i told him i loved him and waited for a reply but didnt get one.. so i kept repeating and all he'd say was 'bye'... the next night we talked on messenger, the same thing happened.. then he told me that he didn't know if he loved me cuz love is a lot, he just really likes me.. i asked him why he's been telling me that he loves me and he said it was because i always said it to him.. but there were MANY times that he was the one that said it to me first or i just didn't say it but he did.. it kinda depresses me and makes me mad that hes lied to me for about 5 months.. i lost my virginity to him thinking that he loved me, but he didn't.. he says that loving someone pretty much means ur ready for marraige and want to marry them (we're in high school).. i have such strong feelings for him and care about him a lot and would do anything for him and want to be with him whenever possible.. is this not love? he would do anything to protect me or be with me and he cares about me deeply and doesn't like hurting me, and he did hurt me by lying to me but i still feel the same way about him.. do we love each other? maybe i'm wrong about loving him and just REALLY like him.. i'm just confused now..
magda Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 I firmly believe that love is a mutual thing. It's not something one person feels and the other person doesn't. It's.. independent of either of you and exists between you. If you are in love with someone, you simply recognize that mutual love. If you think you love someone that doesn't think they love you, it is my belief that you are just infatuated. This probably didn't help you feel any better, I'm sure. But I think that you do just REALLY like him. I also think he's a lil scaredy cat and he's not ready for the level of commitment that you're trying to bring the relationship to. I've said I love you and didn't mean it. I thought I meant it, but I didn't. I was just lost in the moment and wishing things were there that I found out weren't. Makes ya feel stupid. Makes ya feel like an ass. But it doesn't change the fact that you aren't in love. I hate to say, it sounds like he's handing you your walking papers. Maybe he'll take you back when he feels like "getting lost in the moment" again. It'll mess with your mind. Don't let it happen. Don't see him anymore until you're in control of your feelings toward him and don't let somebody who you don't have a loving relationship with dictate your emotional control over yourself. Easier said than done, I'm aware.. I say this in your best interest, however: save yourself the heartache and move on.
dudesomewhere Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 age does not prohibit the development of the emotion we call love. Your BF is an ass, dump him. Go be with yourself for a while and just enjoy who you are, love family, read, write, play with pets, etc. Don't let anyone bring you down...don't feel pressured to find a new bf just for society's sake. Many times one person can feel love while the other does not...and it is up to each one to determine how long they want to endure to find out. Myself? I usually give it a day, lol...maybe 2 hours, hehe. So I probably think you loved him, but he didn't you. Most likely like the majority of guys, young or old they tell you what they think will work just to get what they want from you. You're still in high school...there's plenty of time in life for all the drama and crap to come. Hell wait till after you're done with college
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