linzfergie Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 i have been dating this guy for 4 months and he said he is looking for a wife but wants to take things very slowly to make sure im "the one". so we are still just "exclusively dating" and not boyfriend and girlfriend yet. i made the mistake of bringing that up and he said hes not ready to make that commitment to me but that he does really like me. a few times he has asked for space. we have been in a few fights and it seems like he tries to reassure me that he is still interested after we make up but he also withdraws a little more each time as far as initiating time together, texting, etc. he says he has to change his mindset each fight and its like we are starting to date all over again each time. every time he withdraws i feel insecure because he fades away a little more but still keeps me around by texting "good night" or "youre special" every once in a while. what should i do so i feel less insecure? how do i get him to call me his girlfriend? ive tried giving him space but he still takes me for granted.
veggirl Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 4 months is plenty of time to know if you want to be BF/GF. If he really liked you, you would be his girlfriend by now. What's the difference in being bf/gf and "exclusively dating"? Have you asked him that? Let me guess, he doesn't want the "pressure" of a title. Meaning he can dump you at anytime, and just say "hey you weren't my girlfriend" and look at you confused when you are hurt. A *few* fights already? Needing space already? It's been 4 months. Too soon for that junk. I'd move on.
Author linzfergie Posted July 14, 2012 Author Posted July 14, 2012 basically he said he needs to know i would not get jealous of his female best friend the way i have in the past (that was 1 fight). i think most of all he is afraid of losing his freedom. he thinks i want all of his free-time already (another fight when he asked for space). and he thinks he hasnt "earned it" because i like him so much so quickly. for me 4 months is a long time but for him he feels like we just started dating and that i shouldnt be so into him.
tina783 Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 Of course we all like our free time. However, I do believe that if a man really wants to be with you, he will want you in his life more. He will want to spend most of his "free time" with you to get to know you better.
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