SeventhFloor Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 My ex and I broke up about 3 weeks ago. She kept leading me on, while seeing this other guy, going hot and cold constantly. They have been "official" for about a week now, though they were hooking up and she was lying to me before that. After she broke up with me, I met up with this girl who seemed very interested in me and we kissed a few times. Texted a bunch, talked, etc. It wasn't my ex, but I liked it. Once my ex and I pretty much ended it (as in: "I've decided, I want to be with him, not you"), this girl called me and asked me out. I said yes. She knew that I had gotten out of a relationship recently and was cool with it. A few minutes later, I called her back and told her I wasn't ready to really take it further. She was again, very cool with it - saying it's okay! We can just be friends, no problem. I mean, she was VERY cool with it! I told her that I'd rather disappoint her now, than lead her on and disappoint her later. I also told her I was doing this because I liked her, and I wanted to do it the right way, and she said something to the sort of - and I'm sticking around because I like you too! So this new girl has been giving me space. We haven't talked in about four days, and I admire that she's giving me time to get my head on straight. Now, I want to see her, but at the same time, I'm not over my ex - I'm still hurting. What is the best way to approach this? Even at this moment, I am still hurting over my ex, but at the same time I want to call this girl up and say hey, Thank you for giving me some time to get my head on straight, let's meet up later this week. Though I feel like it's unfair to be seeing this girl when I still have...whatever feelings I have over my lying, cheating ex who is now committed to someone else. And now, after not talking for a few days, I'm not sure how she feels. I think its admirable of her to do this, but from her perspective, would she want to date someone who told her all these things? Do you think it would be okay to call her up, meet her up and just see where things go?
Author SeventhFloor Posted July 14, 2012 Author Posted July 14, 2012 I feel a lot of respect for her for being so cool with it, and not contacting me for a few days. Could that be a bad sign, though? I'm sure she doesn't want to get involved with baggage, even though while we were talking I heard some of hers. My feeling is that she's not going anywhere, I'm not going anywhere, so space is fine. But I'm worried it may cause her to lose interest, which is really her right. I'm just so not sure what to do! I want to meet her up... I don't want to be unfair to her... etc my mind is reeling. Like, I feel I at least owe her a call after a few days.
january2011 Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 Let her be the judge of what's fair for her and let her take responsibility for her own actions. Just keep being honest and open with her about where you are mentally and emotionally. You can either maintain a friendship on the understanding that it might or might not lead to a romantic relationship, or you can step away completely, work on yourself and then call her when you're ready to find out if she's still free and interested.
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