k100danny Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 So now it's finally all contact broken and no reason to hope of reconcilliation what are some good ways to move on? I'm in a constant preoccupied phase at the minute like a high state of anxiety, not eating great and generally spend the day worrying about everything in life. I have read the articles saying time with family, friends, pick up old hobbies you may have been neglecting but this seems to be just distracting yourself, Im not saying they don't work but I have also read that you need to not hide from the emotions and should process them fully. It's been a month since the break up, 2 weeks since we started to break contact and 2 days since i blocked her fully and gave her my goodbye speach with no hard feelings. I do have hard feelings and i know i will have to come to terms with them sooner or later, I dont wish her unhappiness but i do feel like a stand in until she went travelling and a rebound. at times i felt like a punching bag and although she probably didn't mean to do this or actually know this was the case at the time I do feel anger also. I want to fully process this relationship but not dwell and then fully heal before I make a move into another, I would also like to keep my options open next time, not sleep around but date a few people close together and try and establish a good match and choose someone for the right reasons. I think in some ways she may also have been my rebound, at the start anyway. I have just started talking to this girl, flirting slightly. I know this is way to ease the pain and i feel guilty already, I think on some level i have done it to get back at my e also even though there is no way of her knowing i've done it and im not likely or the type of person who would tell her for a reaction.
The Tallest One Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 If I was you, I would avoid relationships for a while and give yourself some pampering. Focus on you and only start to date when your 100% over ex. Try reading, exercising, being with friends. Watch movies, go for walks. I'm day 18 after being dumped and time is the only thing that really heals.
Author k100danny Posted July 14, 2012 Author Posted July 14, 2012 Yeah time is always the best healer, I know you can't rush it but god i wish you could. I think I may have also been rebounding slightly toward the beginning of our relationship even though i had broken up 4 months previous and it was only a short term thing I think she was still on my mind slightly. We all know we will find that brighter day and love again on our journey to finding a well suited partner. I'm starting to think something might be wrong though haha. I'm 29 years old now and the longest relationship I have been in is 1 year, altought apart from dating i did stay out of relationships for 7 years due to my anxiety problem and feeling like i couldnt have a relationship. Most women at my age have baggage (I'm not being sexist most single men too) So I don't want to settle because of the body clock or because it seems the right thing to do, I just feel I have to catch up on time I suppose. I won't be rushing into a relationship. I know I couldn't feel that much for anyone at the moment and it would just be a distraction and I know this isn't fair on anyone. A bit of harmless flirting can't hurt though surely? everyone likes an ego boost.
blondie 12345 Posted July 21, 2012 Posted July 21, 2012 it took me 2 years and at time I thought I was dying I couldn't eat sleep kept crying felt sad I took 1 day at a time, kept myself busy, eat little mesls if big meal make u sick, never contacted him deleted him off Facebook, I did it on my own and in my own time I no people try to help but it felt better me doing it on my own. Now I'm so happy n can't believe I got upset lol Im glad I went threw the though break up coz it made me how I am today n my life is 100℅ better Xx 2
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