Boyfriend or is it EX? Help Me and a request for incident analysis

[SamanthaX]

Hiya.

My boyfriend told me on Sunday that he might want to date other women. He called me yesterday acting and I asked him if he wanted to date other people and he said he didnt know. He said we should not talk until he returned from his golf weekend. I said OK. He called me later on that evening asking a completely inane question and then told me that was all and hung up the phone. He and I argue alot and he constantly criticizes me. So, this abuse was nothing new. I just always take it. We were supposed to be not talking when he emailed me twice today asking if I missed him and if I'd like to go on vacation together. He had a whole day-by-day written up.We were supposed to be not talking when he called me 3 times this evening. I haven't answered him. I am really thinking of just moving on even though I love him. I am sick of these games. He just keeps breaking my heart over and over. But, something inside me makes breaking up with him some sort of twisted victory on his behalf.

I am so confused.Help. What should I do?

 

One more thing....a couple of weeks ago I was staying with him while visiting (we are in a long-distance relationship) and his ex called and left a message to this effect:

"Hi honey..I would love to go away this weekend (we were going to be together that wknd hence my visit) But, bring CONDOMS (she yells louder than anything) and maybe bring some neon CONDOMS (she yells again). Lets try something new baby. Love you."

Now, I am sitting there shaking. It sounded like she was trying to **** with whoever was there (me). They are still friends and she calls alot. He told her not to call cause he had company (me). That was his excuse anyway. What was she trying to do? And is there something else going on? As I am sitting there, I see him on the caller ID) call and delete the message and then act like nothing happened when he came in. I was completley freaked and left his house. I told him I wanted her out of my life and his. He said they were friends and he was the only person she knows in that city. What the hell am I missing?

[magda]

EX boyfriend. Incident analysis: he's an a**h*** and you're a sucker for punishment, keep hoping he'll come around but instead you're letting him walk all over your heart.

 

But, something inside me makes breaking up with him some sort of twisted victory on his behalf.

and staying with him is how you plan on winning? Winning what? Your dignity? Your self-respect? You don't "win" those things you earn them.. by respecting yourself and acting dignified.

 

cut your losses and call it a day.

[dudesomewhere]

One more thing....a couple of weeks ago I was staying with him while visiting (we are in a long-distance relationship) and his ex called and left a message to this effect:

"Hi honey..I would love to go away this weekend (we were going to be together that wknd hence my visit) But, bring CONDOMS (she yells louder than anything) and maybe bring some neon CONDOMS (she yells again). Lets try something new baby. Love you."

Now, I am sitting there shaking. It sounded like she was trying to **** with whoever was there (me). They are still friends and she calls alot. He told her not to call cause he had company (me). That was his excuse anyway. What was she trying to do? And is there something else going on? As I am sitting there, I see him on the caller ID) call and delete the message and then act like nothing happened when he came in. I was completley freaked and left his house. I told him I wanted her out of my life and his. He said they were friends and he was the only person she knows in that city. What the hell am I missing?

 

Um, pardon me...but to me this sounds like she's the gf and you're the fling on the side. Really.

 

I think this guy probably has many women like you all over, being an LDR and all. That's one smooth criminal...I wish I was like him...NAH. But I'm sure more women wish I was like him . Players, gotta love em...women sure do

 

I'm being a butthead but I ordered some good ass chinese food, so I'm on a culinary high

[DerangedAngel]

I ordered some good ass chinese food

 

Me too! Second time within a 7 day period. I feel so guilty, yet satisfied.

 

-DA