tomtina Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 So here's what happened. My exgirlfriend and I have been dating for 2 years but we were having some issues lately. She got a new job and it was making her too busy and we didn't have any time for each other (we haven't had a meal together or any serious conversations in 2 months even though we live 10 minutes away). I have expressed the concern quite directly and it was clear that in order to make a living she had to keep her job. I was okay with that as long as she is trying to resolve the issue. Anyways, about a week ago on a Thursday, she told me that we might actually have a dinner date on Friday. She said she would let me know. Well, she didn't. I called her and texted her at 9 but no response. She texted me later at 11pm telling me that she was sorry and she just got back home. Well, turns out she went to a nice restaurant with her coworker (who is a guy) by themselves that night. She explained that there were supposed to be three of them but one of them suddenly got sick so she and her coworker just had a dinner together and she said nothing really happened and they used the company's credit card. As for why she didn't tell me about it, she said she forgot about our potential dinner together and said she was really sorry. I broke up with her shortly after that because 1. It was clear she didn't have time for a serious relationship and that she was okay with that. 2. She forgot about our possible dinner date. It's okay that she was busy but she should have let me know beforehand. This kind of mistakes on her part is not isolated to just one occasion but shes been doing this (forgetting my birthday, forgetting our dates, forgetting our anniversary, etc) 3. I couldn't help but doubt if she was lying about her coworker. Also that guy and I play soccer together (my exgirlfriend doesn't know that) and he has been acting weird around me. I explained this to her and broke up with her. She responded (while crying) by asking me if not spending enough time is the problem how can a break up be helpful. I told her that I deserved a healthier relationship than this so by breaking up I am not tied to a girlfriend who doesn't even have time to go on a date. Anyways we ended up talking for a long time and went to a bar, got drunk, slept with each other. We continued acting like a couple the next day because we were supposed to see our mutual friend who was coming back from China. And then she tried to keep it that way afterwards...like we were dating but we were not in a relationship. I reminded her that we broke up recently when she tried to kiss me last night and she said okay and continued making out with me. I dont know what we are anymore and more importantly I dont know what I need to do with her. I still love her but I also hate her.
Toru Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 I still love her but I also hate her. This does not sound like a healthy thing to say in a relationship and the way you said certain things I'm sure the relationship in your mind is over. Just be firm with her, tell her you want to end this, hence stop seeing her. Go NC and heal up.
Fixyou Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 Sorry friend about your problems, but you are right, you do deserve better. Anybody, who wants to be in a committed relationship, deserves better. I get that she's working late and long hours (I've been there, done that), but she can always make time for you. It might not be the perfect date, but I think we all know that if you care for someone, getting ice cream and a nice walk can be a pretty perfect date. I think you need to step away from her. NOt easy, but it doesn't seem like you've seen that much from her lately. If she reaches out, awesome, but I think you also need to be cautious if she does so. Best of luck
Samilia Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 Does she work 16 hours a day 7 days a week? I doubt that. How can she casually forget that she's alone at the restaurant with another guy? Personally, I would walk away.
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