big bear Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 So, I was in my ex gf's city for a meeting. Decided to stay over for the weekend. Decided to meet her up. So message her asking if she would like to. She replies she is in her home in our native city. (A different city). I live 350 kms away from the city she works. My intention was to make one last ditch effort after a month of NC and if nothing works explain her why I will be going to NC and it was not out of spite but just to heal myself. Call her in the evening. In a really exhausted voice she tells me she had an accident and was in a minor surgery. I was talking to her, when she said the doc has come and she will be calling back. I thought she won't but she did. We chatted about general things until she decided to sleep. WHat do I do know? Talk to her or go back to NC. NC is right for me but when I broke my leg in a motor-bike accident last year she took care of me. I just don't know what is the right thing to do now.
kyle77 Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 Personally I think you should just check up on her....make sure she is doing okay....just give her a call or something, nothing more. Who broke up with who? if i may ask, as that will change things. But its no longer your responsibility to take care of her or her of you, so just be courteous and nice express sincere concern about the surgery. If you want her back, you are going to have to let her know eventually when you decide to let her know is up to you. 1
Author big bear Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 She broke up with me long story short, I cheated, she cheated and I broke her emotionally. After I get to know of the surgery and all. I call her for the past couple of days. Sometimes, she picks p, sometimes she says she is in pain. Finally, today she asks me "Why have ypu started calling me again." I told her that I had informed her before if she found my calls too intrusive, she could just tell me to stop calling. She says I am doing the same. ( Paraphrasing not the exact words) It feels so insulting, depressing, sad and angry at the same time. Her stupid crazy friends have not even met her after the surgery once and she treats me like this. I agree most of it is my fault but is it the way to treat someone concerned about your well being. Something inside me says either she has started seeing someone else who asked not to speak to me or she is just building walls around herself. Don't even know how to react to all this. Planning to go back to NC with a heavy heart. Any suggestions to the contrary??
Appleness Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Hi Big Bear, I'm sorry about your ex's accident. It sounds like she's not very receptive right now to reconciliation of any kind right now and with good reason. The accident of foremost on her mind and the reasons why you broke up in the first place isn't something easily fixable (I think cheating is one of the hardest things to get past because of the trust issues involved). And did you mention you only did a month of NC? That's way too short. Unless you were only together for less than 3 months. I think you should text her wishing her well and say that you'll leave her be so she can get better. Then go NC again for like 3 months. Then if you still miss her, go see her in person to make sure she's ok. Make sure that you look your best so that even if she still doesn't want you, she'll have a good last impression. Good luck
Author big bear Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 4th day of NC again. Really feel like asking how she is. Should I do it? or still be in NC. I don't even know if I love her know. But at some level I do care.
Author big bear Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 So, I did call her. Spoke for about 10 minutes. General things this and that. It's so disgusting one of her so called BFF (she has 3) did not even visit her, being in the same city. Anyways thought will call on Sun next, since Monday her progress will be determined by the docs. It's true if she offers a bone I will run a mile, but heart in heart I don't know if I want her back.
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