SeventhFloor Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 You may know my story. She lied and cheated. Our breakup is about three weeks old, they have been together for about a week. This was pretty much going on behind my back, and they made it "official" a week after our "end." She called my friend today when I was at his house, saying she wants to talk to me but won't ask directly because...well, she knows I'm hurt, doesn't want to make me angry, and it's messy. My friend suggested something about closure, or her saying closure. This is about guilt, right? She just wants to relieve some of it, and go back to being with her new/old guy. I mean, there was hardly any time in between our relationships and it seemed like she just dropped me, lied, led me on and moved on. She's not going to leave him, she's not going to try to fix anything...right? I asked if she was happy and my friend made it kind of sound like she wasn't - like, sometimes yes and sometimes no. But its only been a week so that "new relationship" spark shouldn't have worn off yet...even though they moved super duper fast. She was saying he made her happy, so she's not necessarily unhappy...I think. What would you do, or suggest I do? How can I refrain from talking to her if I shouldn't?
Thisisbs Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 She is probably just trying to relieve some guilt. When my ex became super interested in another guy, she talked to one of my friends about me, and that's the first time I was ever mentioned. She only though about me because she felt guilty about hurting me etc... It is your choice to relieve her guilt or not. She doesn't deserve it, but if you feel like it is a morally right thing to do, then go for it.
KatZee Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 Its definitely guilt. She's a liar and a cheater and it started before you guys even ended. Don't even bother with meeting her or talking to her. No good will come of it for you. Just be satisfied knowing this is eating her... and she doesn't deserve to be relieved of the guilt. 1
Author SeventhFloor Posted July 14, 2012 Author Posted July 14, 2012 I just don't get it. Is she guilty or not? Does she regret leaving me? Is she happy with him? These are all questions on the forefront of my mind that I want to know, at the same time it kills me to. Is it really eating her if she won't even confront me, but asks my friend to ask me to talk to her? Damn, I hate this. A friend of mine is in the same place at the same time and he's so much better off - doesn't want anything to do with her. I need to keep my power in the situation and just not talk to her. I just, well, miss her - which is getting easier to deal with when i realize she's out banging another guy (who apparently, is not as good as me, or so I heard once through a mutual friend).
Thisisbs Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 I just don't get it. Is she guilty or not? Does she regret leaving me? Is she happy with him? These are all questions on the forefront of my mind that I want to know, at the same time it kills me to. Is it really eating her if she won't even confront me, but asks my friend to ask me to talk to her? Damn, I hate this. A friend of mine is in the same place at the same time and he's so much better off - doesn't want anything to do with her. I need to keep my power in the situation and just not talk to her. I just, well, miss her - which is getting easier to deal with when i realize she's out banging another guy (who apparently, is not as good as me, or so I heard once through a mutual friend). She is most likely guilty but if she isn't, It doesn't matter if she regrets leaving you or if she's happy, because she's not worth it. She lied and cheated didn't she? You dodged a bullet. Just continue on with your life like you have. 1
Author SeventhFloor Posted July 14, 2012 Author Posted July 14, 2012 (edited) I agree with you all, the thing is, I want to hear from her. I want her to say she feels guilty, she regrets it and this was all a huge mistake. It would at least mean that I meant something to her. I know its all selfish. I just want to hear that things aren't going good with the new guy, that she jumped into it too fast and she regrets it immensely. I don't know whether I will ever hear that; more likely her closure will just be, "I'm sorry, but I'm happy, leave me be with him." And that hurts. I just want it to blow up in her face, for her to realize that the guidance that we were all giving her was the right thing to do and she did the wrong thing. She told me she felt empty with him...then she said she wanted to commit to him. I want her to still feel empty. I mean...the question on my mind is (one of the many) is it really eating at her? Edited July 14, 2012 by SeventhFloor
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