dark1san Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 If a guy asks you out again after the first date, do you tell him yes just to be nice if you're really not interested in seeing him again? Or do you tell him yes because you are really interested in seeing him again? And if you weren't interested in them would you still answer their text messages? Or would you ignore them? I'm trying to get a read on someone I went out with yesterday, that's why I'm asking. I've been out of the dating scene a while now, things have changed drastically. And not all women are the same. Like some get mad if you admit that you're talking to another woman while talking with them. But they can talk to another man while talking with you.
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 (edited) If he asks me out during the first date, I will usually tell him, let's keep in touch or similar. I would avoid saying yes or committing to date/time. It's just kind of awkward to reject him in person during the date. If he asks me via text AFTER the date, I would respond that I am not interested. Edited July 14, 2012 by Eternal Sunshine
Snakechammah Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 I would prefer to play it coy. If out on the date and he makes plans for a second one, I'll say I have to think about it and maybe he could ask me again closer to the day... I don't like to be put on-the-spot to answer yes or no. So I buy time (even if I DO like him and wants to jump on him).. it's part of the mystery. If he follows up and eagerly text about the next meeting, then I can be sure he's truly interested. If he doesn't bother, then I won't bother and I'll know it's a passing cloud. Bottom line is: If a girl says she needs time to think about the offer of a second date doesn't mean she's not interested. She could just be playing hard to get. Good luck on your conquest!
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 If I want a second date I will say something at the end of the first. For example: "I had a really nice time tonight, I hope we can do something again soon." Otherwise it will be a polite "Thanks for a good night, it was nice meeting you." With that, I am horrible at saying no if they ask again, so I am usually willing to give a second chance. Usually it takes 3 dates for me to know if the other person is REALLY someone I can see dating. If he isn't, things usually naturally wear off before there is a 4th. 1
ladyabstrused Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 What miss_jaclynrae said above. I think it's a bit difficult to conclude in just one date so I would give it a few more chances. If the first date is really really bad, I'd just tell the guy that I'm sorry but I'm not interested. I won't do it just to be nice.. cos really, it's not nice when you're just pretending. And no, I won't ignore their messages but if they get too obsessive, I'd say something and then put a stop to that.
Author dark1san Posted July 15, 2012 Author Posted July 15, 2012 Yeah she's probably not interested then, because she said what miss_jaclynrae said she'd say if she was not really interested. I've been on three other dates since May, two of which said,"We should do this again sometime." I screwed the first one up, the second one, the second date just was blah, and I didn't really feel a connection with her.
mortensorchid Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 If someone wanted to see me again after that get together, I would simply wait to be contacted by them again. If he does not call / text after 24-48 hours, then he's not interested and he will not contact me again. And if say he does call/text within that time, I would tell the person "thanks but I am not interested" or accept the next get together if I was interested. Simple.
NYC-BigKat Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 If I want a second date I will say something at the end of the first. For example: "I had a really nice time tonight, I hope we can do something again soon." Otherwise it will be a polite "Thanks for a good night, it was nice meeting you." With that, I am horrible at saying no if they ask again, so I am usually willing to give a second chance. Usually it takes 3 dates for me to know if the other person is REALLY someone I can see dating. If he isn't, things usually naturally wear off before there is a 4th. I really like your picture :):):):):).
spiderowl Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 If a guy asks you out again after the first date, do you tell him yes just to be nice if you're really not interested in seeing him again? I might say yes if I was surprised by the question and a bit flustered. I might say yes if I felt uncomfortable but wasn't sure why I was feeling that way. It's being polite, I guess. Later on, I might realise I didn't feel comfortable with him and decide not to see him again. If people are put on the spot, sometimes they say the wrong thing and regret it later. And if you weren't interested in them would you still answer their text messages? Or would you ignore them? I would politely say I didn't think a second date was a good idea. If they persisted in texting and trying to persuade me after that, I might ignore it - it depends on the person and my feelings about them. If they were decent but I just didn't feel attracted, I'd be polite but make it clear I didn't think romance was on the cards. If I felt they were creepy or I felt they just wanted a booty call and cared nothing about me, I'd ignore them after telling them I wasn't interested. Some people feel it's best not to 'encourage' a date if they aren't interested. Some would just cut you off and not communicate at all, even if you asked what had happened. Basically, it's rude, but some have the idea that no communication speaks for itself. Personally, I think one should always try to make it clear whether one wants to maintain contact or not.
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