IST Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 My ex broke up with me about a month and a half ago, telling me she needed space and a little bit later that she didn't love me anymore and just wanted to be friends. I tried to be friends for a month, but at the end of June I decided against it. I told her that I didn't want to be friends, and I was upset with how she was treating me. (To make a long story short, friends wasn't working and we were both irritated with each other constantly) So she decided she wasn't going to talk to me anymore. I said a lot of emotionally charged things like "I hate you" etc and apologized for them later when I calmed down. Now before this I've gone back and forth between attempting NC. I'd want her gone, then want her back. But since she decided to ignore me completely I was forced into NC. For the first week or so I messaged her infrequently, sometimes trying to just say "Hi, how're you" and other times venting various emotions telling her how much I loved her and that I missed her. (I know, huge no-no's) Eventually I got fed up and just said: "You know what? I've made a decision. I want to be with you, [NAME]. And if you don't want a romantic relationship with me anymore then perhaps it's better if we go our separate ways. Atleast until my feelings for you change. If they ever do. Do what will make you happiest." then proceeded to block her on FB. I just wish things could go back to how they were. I feel like she just hates me. Like I pushed her away more post-break up than I ever did in the relationship. I know I need to move on, but I can't help but think about her. And if I'm not thinking about her, I'm reminded of her. Sweaters that she used to wear for example. And on the 20th, we were supposed to go to a movie together with a few friends. As far as I'm aware we both plan on going. (I paid $20 for a ticket, I'm going to go see the movie) I intend to just be "friendly/confident" while I'm there (It's assigned seating, so we're bound to atleast see each other), but I'm worried she's just going to avoid me/ignore me. After that, unless something changes I doubt we'll see each other for a very long time. (Shortly after our break up, she decided she wanted to move away. Originally, we were going to move in together...) I guess, I just want advice in regards to the movie thing. I still feel like I'm playing games trying to win her back sometimes, and other times I feel like I'm trying to move on. (and if she comes back of her own volition, then maybe I'll accept her) This movie thing feels like the former.
rayne05us Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 Forget the movies and the $20. You need your space and I guarantee if you go she will think you're there to see her. Even if you don't go somewhere else that nite dont let anyone else know of your plans. Just say you have other plans and it will keep her in the dark. It sounds a lil devious but it will prevent ur progress from going backwards with the NC. Keep doing what you're doing for yourself. Make a clean break, that is the only way you wil heal. Best of luck!
Samilia Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 Confident, composed, chat with your friends, toss her a polite "hey" or "hello", ignore her the rest of the time, no need to pretend like you're best friends. Don't go there all sad and puppy like, you paid 20 bucks, have a good time!
Author IST Posted July 14, 2012 Author Posted July 14, 2012 Conflicting opinions... I have to admit I'm leaning towards Samilia's advice but I see the logic in rayne05us's. Anyone else have any advice for me?
SeventhFloor Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 If it was me, I wouldn't go. She screwed up, and I should be mad, but even the mention of her gets my heart pounding. If you're really strong, then go, enjoy yourself, and follow Samila's advice. But if you're not prepared...for instance, what if she just completely blows you off, you see her flirting with other guys, etc? Then don't go.
k100danny Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 My advice would be to try and not justify spending $20 on a movie ticket for a reason to see her. I KNOW BATMAN LOOKS AMAZING I WOULDN'T WANT TO MISS IT EITHER!!! im guessing this is what you are going to see? My advice would be , sell the ticket to a mutual friend, go to another theatre with different friends and still see the movie you want to see. I can tell you know if you go to that movie it will bring back a lot of emotion and you will not even know what went on in the film with her there. 1
Author IST Posted July 14, 2012 Author Posted July 14, 2012 If you're really strong, then go, enjoy yourself, and follow Samila's advice. But if you're not prepared...for instance, what if she just completely blows you off, you see her flirting with other guys, etc? Then don't go. I'm going in expecting the worst, hoping for the best. My advice would be to try and not justify spending $20 on a movie ticket for a reason to see her. I KNOW BATMAN LOOKS AMAZING I WOULDN'T WANT TO MISS IT EITHER!!! im guessing this is what you are going to see? My advice would be , sell the ticket to a mutual friend, go to another theatre with different friends and still see the movie you want to see. I can tell you know if you go to that movie it will bring back a lot of emotion and you will not even know what went on in the film with her there. I have to admit, part of the reason I want to go is because it's basically the last chance I have to see her. But I'm prepared to go and not see her at all and just enjoy the movie. And yeah, the movie is indeed Batman. A cheap cop-out to not go to a different theatre is I'm going to see it in Imax, and it's the only theatre nearby that is in Imax.
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