Mariana345 Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 I was writing this message to ask for advice at how to make my chances of getting back better, but as I was doing it... I realized!! He made a fool of me! Hi! I'm at the end of 6th week after BU and although I'm so much better I'm still wondering some things. I now know that the relationship were not that great, I have realized my faults and I understad why he needed to leave. But I still love him, I still want to work things out, and I think that It'll worth it. But I'm still wavering at some points: *At the day of BU he, at first, didn't know what to do, as the talk went through he thought of having a break and after a little more we then said that break up was the healtier for both of us. So I'm not quite sure if he really meant the breakup or was a matter of the moment. *But the day after de BU he went out to the movies (I know cause he paid) with someone else, as he paid for the 2 tickets, and when we went on dates he always paid for both of us (and he lied to me that he was at his male friend house). Also, in my "stalker phase" I found out that he actually went to the movies the next 2 weekends and every time he paid for 2. So I can just assume he was with some girl, so, he cheated on me. Although can't know for sure if this person was a love interest or a friend. *Here is were I'm missing. The week before at the BU we have an argument, and I kind of suggest to take some time to not see each other, and he refused it because "nothing will be fixed by it's own", so he said we must keep trying. But in that same argument he told me he missed his "friends" that the needed them for times like this, when he have no one to look to. Well, the things is that he HAVE his friends! Just that we don't get along well since mi ex had to stop talking to one of them because she liked him. I didn't ask for him to stop talking to her, just to give my place as girlfriend with her. And since then his friends didn't like me that much, but it was mutual. But I kind of agreed that I would be more flexible with his friends. So, one week before we wanted to work things out, and then he just "couldn't bear it anymore" and "doesn't feel capable to continue". *Three weeks after the BU he added this female friend to his facebook and that same weekend went out (openly) with her and their other friends. That's when my stalker phase finished. He knew that I was having problems with this girl and others friends, so now that he is "single" he could hang out with them as much as he wants, even anounce it in fb (not sure if for me to notice), so... He really don't want anything to do with me anymore. So, one of my theories is that the "movie's person" is this female friend. Not sure yet if is a romantic interest (since I still my doubts about this "friendship" of him) *That, and the fact that he haven't contacted me on his own since the BU, not telling me nothing at all, and acting kind of cold but slightly interested when we met. Here that rock hit me... OMG!! I was being in that RS for almost 5 years! I have to admit that he tried really hard to please me most of the time, and that he loved me very deeply, that's why it was so hard to accept the BU as final, that's why I couldn't believe that he won't love anymore, and that's why I was having this little hope that I can do something to mend this RS... but now!! I was going to ask that, if he told me he needed time to know if he could miss me or feel the same, and after some NC I could do some small interaction again, since I've read that successful reconcilations have a little of contact, AND giving him an apology for my rude behaviour in the RS would make things at my favor... But now!!! I don't what to think anymore... He really is not the man who I felt in love with... Why should I still bother? I love him, I really do, but this... changes everything... I don't know how to see this anymore...
rayne05us Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 In order for you to move on from this, you have to stop, STOP, stalking him like that. AND you have to stop speculating. This is your time to get yourself together. Don't worry what he's doing with whoeever, just realize that they're a filler of the time and emotional connection you had with him. My advice, as hard as it's gonna be...either remove yourself from his FB or deactivate yours for now....I think the second would be the best idea personally, because it will get him wondering what you're doing (I'm guessing he's doing the same thing to you). Then you can focus on what really matters, and that's YOU. This won't take all your feelings away or answer all your questions, but atleast you will give your self the break that you need from all of this and from what you're saying, you REALLY need it. Best of luck!
Author Mariana345 Posted July 13, 2012 Author Posted July 13, 2012 In order for you to move on from this, you have to stop, STOP, stalking him like that. AND you have to stop speculating. This is your time to get yourself together. Don't worry what he's doing with whoeever, just realize that they're a filler of the time and emotional connection you had with him. My advice, as hard as it's gonna be...either remove yourself from his FB or deactivate yours for now....I think the second would be the best idea personally, because it will get him wondering what you're doing (I'm guessing he's doing the same thing to you). Then you can focus on what really matters, and that's YOU. This won't take all your feelings away or answer all your questions, but atleast you will give your self the break that you need from all of this and from what you're saying, you REALLY need it. Best of luck! Oh don't worry about it!! I stopped weeks ago... about two and a half! I no longer have any news from him, and haven't checked his facebook acount. And yes, I'm so much better not knowing from him at least my mind is at peace. And with this, I think I really want to move on for good. 1
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