vodkatoast Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Hi all I have lurked on these boards before but am now in need of some advice... I am currently in my mid 20s. A while back at university I had a housemte who became a very good friend, one of the best. Sometimes her brother would come and visit us and we'd go out drinking and generally have a laugh. I am semi orphaned and dont have much family support so would stay with her family for new year and easter. I even went on holiday with them. They were all great. As time went on we left university and went our own ways. I would often invite my friend down to visit me in my new digs. Sometimes too her brother would come. During this whole time I had been in a long term relationship. I didnt see the brother for about 3 months. When I next saw him at the family home I was single. A few days after seeing him I got a text from him (dont know where he got my number from as we'd never been in direct contact) saying he wanted to take me out on a date. Having always had a little bit of a crush on the guy (he is my age, his sister is in fact a year older) I said yes. We proceeded to flirt over text for the next 5 weeks (texts almost always instigated from him and reponses in a timely manor). We live 1.5 hours apart and he was doing some exams for work so when he came to see me he didnt stay the night and when i saw him his family were around and we tended to do things with his sister/cousins. After his exams were finally over he said he wanted to spend a proper weekend with me, alone without his sister, and he wanted to stay over (i have my own place, he lives with his parents still). The minute we were alone in my flat he was all over me and i was surprised to find myself having to ask him to slow down after he asked if we could have sex. We didnt sleep together but did pretty much everything else... During the weekend he told me how he'd always liked me. He was even able to recount the first conversation we ever had all those years ago in my student kitchen. At the end of the weekend he told me he couldnt wait to see me again and that he couldnt believe he was seeing me. He jokingly refered to it being a bit like Ross/Rachel out of friends. I was on cloud 9 and he asked if we could do something the following weekend, as soon as possible. I didnt hear from him during the week so so after a few days i sent a text. I said I hoped his week was going ok (as he was worried about exam results) and to let me know if he was still free at the weekend. I didnt ask why he hadnt been in contact/what he had been upto or what he thought of our weekend. Still no contact. I didnt hear from him until Sat morning. On the very day he had said he wanted to see me he sent me a short message simply saying "Sorry no i wont be down. Have a nice weekend." No kiss (unlike all his other texts), no apology. Nothing. So... was it just the thrill of the chase? Did he just want to have sex and i didnt put out? I cant believe someone who i had known for so long, who is the brother of my best friend suddenly went so cold on me. If he wasnt feeling it why not just be a man and let me know rather than give me the silent treatment? Hurt and confused.
phineas Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 what did you do with him & did you do it well? not an excuse for him going cold on you but if you left him with a stiffy or wern't good at the oral he might of changed his mind about you. Or his sister found out & threatened to kill him. IDK. You could always ask him what his problem is since it looks like he isn't going to see you again anyways. Nothing wrong with that. I personally would just take the hint & cut contact & never waste my time on them or even respond to them again.
phineas Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 He didn't play you. You had been flirting for quite some time and spent a weekend together where no ****ing occurred. I wouldn't have even been courteous enough to let you know I wasn't coming over. Good point. They wern't strangers. It really depends on the context of the texting before hand. OP didn't say. If it was dirty & sexual then yeah I can see why he's acting thew way he is. Also they wern't strangers.
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