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Smartest way to approach the situation.


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Posted (edited)

We rushed into a relationship when i was not prepared, we were eachothers first...lasted almost 2 years...things eventually got out of hand and due to immaturity...stresses in life. A break up was inevitable. She left me for another man. But i know i was an exellent boyfriend, it was just the situation.

 

These past two months i have not given her the space she needs to go through this relationship. I cant go 5 days withiut texting her. Today i sent her a picture of a teddy bear. That was symbolic to both of us. The teddy bear has a shirt thst says " somebody at [insert college name] loves you"

 

I want to cut off contact completely now, but i also want her to know that i am around and that she can count on me for anything...because i understand the value of a good friend..of course my intentions is to win her heart back. I forgot to add...she has cut contact with me for about a month.

 

my birthday is on Nov 4th. I guess if she wishes me happy birthday its a good sign, which i can reply to with a very simple "thank you, i really appreciate that you remmembered", then on christmas i want to send her the message that i am here for her.

 

 

I do not want to contact her in new years, because psychologically she could associate New Year with New life and New boyfriend...

 

How could i increase my chances that she thinks about me IF things go wrong in her new relationship. I dont want to sound desperate when texting her, but i also want her to know there is someone here who cares about her, and has always been here for her.

 

 

EDIT*====== I do not want to interfere in her new relationship, i want to let everything fall into place...i doubt they will last longer than me and her lasted which was for almost 2 years

Edited by TooHonest123
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Posted

Sorry for double post, but i forgot to ask the question.

 

What do you think would be the best approach at this point? how should I handle if she texts me on my Bday, how should i handle if she doesnt text me on my bday? should i still text her on chrismas?

 

im rebumping this for those who already red it and missed the questions. thank you so much for taking the time to read this

Posted

She knows you will be there for her, but right now you have to be there for yourself. You owe that to YOU. Stay with no contact. If she wishes you a happy bday say.... "Thanks" and that's it. I bet you by that time though you will gain a lot more perspective on all of this and be in a MUCH better place :)

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Posted
She knows you will be there for her, but right now you have to be there for yourself. You owe that to YOU. Stay with no contact. If she wishes you a happy bday say.... "Thanks" and that's it. I bet you by that time though you will gain a lot more perspective on all of this and be in a MUCH better place :)

 

Thank You, i appreciate your feedback. In the case that she did not text, how do you think her reaction would be if i texted her ffor Christmas? Would it be guilt? Would she think i am a creep? Would she think it is very special of me? I am trying to put myself in her position but it is very hard to think about what would go through her head

Posted

Don't think about contacting her...don't think that far ahead either. When the time come, If you still want to wish her a Merry Xmas and you're in a good place, then do so...but do it on your terms :)

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