Break up and what's followed

[bmunoz23]

Me and my Ex-girlfriend broke up about 3 months ago after about a year and a month relationship. We were both freshman in college and agreed and wanted to try to make it work and we did (eventhough of course we had our arguments and fights) until about a month left in school. She broke it off claiming she had lost her feelings and didn't know why or when it happened (eventhough the day prior she claimed she loved me and all that jazz). Regardless of her reasons and her decision to break up, I have accepted that it is over. On top of the break up, the day following the break up she told me that she had kissed another guy the night of the break up, which i later found out that she made out not just kissed. following that I did NC for about 3 weeks until we both were back in our hometown from college. I asked her to meet up so we could talk about things and she was hesitant to do so because "she didnt know what wed talk about or what there is left to say". Then I found out that she had already slept with this new guy and that they were semi-dating, claiming nothing was official between them.

 

I was devastated about the break up and to find out that she was already with someone else. I have no doubt she did love me and cared about me but I just couldnt believe she would do such things so fast. I am leaning to believe that it is more of a rebound relationship between her and this new guy but I am pushing myself to not care wether it is or not, time will tell. I have also accepted that it was probably for the best, she wasnt that good of a girlfriend (it always seemed like i was trying harder, I would send her gifts but never got one myself, i was there for her more than she was, etc.) so i know that I can and one day will find someone that is whilling to do as much as i would for them. It is very hard and has been for me to believe that and accept it becasue when we visited eachother in college and when we came home for breaks we had great times and I could tell she cared and would do things for me eventhough it still wasnt as much as id do. She had a very unstable temper and it would take her alot to accept her faults and mistakes and that she was wrong at times. I did my absolute best to make her feel supported and loved and cared about but when we met up she told me she felt "held back and not trusted" which personally i know it is not the case because i did trust her, I think it was just words to make her feel better for what she did and has done.

 

I think she was uncertain of the break up and if she really wanted to do it and I feel like her friends and there were other factors but what I really wanted to write about was me and how ive done since then. I was an incredible boyfriend to her and was really good to her and even her parents know so I felt really screwed over and friends agree. I have cried alot and have had my really bad days just like everyone does after a heart break. I gave this girl everything I had and gave it my all to make things work the whole time we were together and it hurt to feel like in the end she just made a decision that would benefit herself, a selfish decision. Ive gotten alot better and have been improving, not thinking about her so much, getting annoyed when things remind me of her or when i get down or sad a little bit. Everynow and then i do see some of her recent activity on facebook and it does upset me a little bit but not nearly as much as it used to. I am ready to be over her because she really isnt worth all of this pain and hurt that i felt and still feel occasionally. I know it will still take some more time to truly be over her, i know i will never forget her and the times we've had, but her being bad to me at times have made things alot easier to accept and see that she wasnt as good as i may have thought and that i can do better.

 

I really just wanted to vent a little it because sometimes i just need to get things of my chest and I felt like this is a place i could do that. I just would like some comments on what people think about the situation, how my ex went about things and how she did me wrong, and maybe some advice and words of encouragement.

 

Thank you