tusharsolanki Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 some of you might have read my story.. its not new here in this forum. where i see so many broken hearts.. and the main reason that shows is the case of cheating.. i loved a girl beyond any boundaries.. we were set to get married.. i adored her.. she knew that. i was totaly there for her emotionaly and physically.. more than anyone can be.. i kept her happy.. but then y did she do this?? i am pretty sure that she wont get anyone like me inthis life.. i treated her like my princess.. why do people do this?? do they get some form of a high?? or is it the ego boost?? dont they realise that they are tearing apart a life?? is it so easy for them?? do they ever realise their mistake truely from their heart?? why the hell do we, who suffer, still from our heart want them back(after what they'v done)?? and why does it hurt when you realise that even if they are truely sorry they dont wana come back..?? these are some of the questions that trouble me and many other... i aint trying to be a great orator and tryng to speak for everybody.. i have seen cases here on this forum that are far more worse than mine... if they had love as much as me.. then i shudder to think what they must be going through.. they'v got my repect (not that they need it)... i cant give them any assurances.. or a piece of advice.. m in no position to do that.. its a week up for me.. since i started with the NC rule. and its been barely 2 weeks since our breakup.. the words that i want to take out of my system are so many that i really cant write it all down.. i got a bit lifted when some of the freinds helped me in this forum few days back.. giving me right kinda advice on my last thread.. but i have really started hating this NC.. though i know itl do me gud.. i expect her to realise what she has lost.. she did send me some texts few days back which seemed genuine.. asking for forgivness.. i think its normal at this stage to want her back.. but its also not advisable.. the point that she might not want a second chance also hurts.. iv made barely any progress in this one week.. i cry a bit less.. but evrytng else is pretty much the same... the pain inside explodes me everyday.. wen i see her siting just a few seats ahead in the same lecture hall.. m pursuing mba.. everyday?? i mean what did i fu**ing do to deserve this?? and to top it all she seems normal.. i loved everythng abt her and now iv got to see her everyday.. the sorrow and the pain is just not fading away.. i had never imagined my life without her and now it seems iv got to live it without her.. i am at a complete loss here.. this is wrong... i am sorry to some of the people here, who tried their level best to show me some light so i could get out of this mess.. the only time i am content i wen i am sitting in darkness..
Chi townD Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 iv made barely any progress in this one week.. i cry a bit less.. but evrytng else is pretty much the same... the pain inside explodes me everyday.. wen i see her siting just a few seats ahead in the same lecture hall.. m pursuing mba.. everyday?? i mean what did i fu**ing do to deserve this?? and to top it all she seems normal.. i loved everythng abt her and now iv got to see her everyday.. the sorrow and the pain is just not fading away.. i had never imagined my life without her and now it seems iv got to live it without her.. i am at a complete loss here.. this is wrong... i am sorry to some of the people here, who tried their level best to show me some light so i could get out of this mess.. the only time i am content i wen i am sitting in darkness.. Okay, first. You ARE making progress with NC. You're saying that you're crying less. Okay, for what it's worth, that is progress. Dude, you are only one week into NC. You've invested all your love and emotions into this girl and she betrayed you. You can just get over that level of betrayal in just one week. You can't turn off those emotions in just one week. It is going to take time. I strongly recommend that next semester, make sure you don't have classes with her. You say that she looks happy and you're nothing more than an after thought. Yet, a couple of days she's sending you texts. She's just putting on a good front. And you didn't deserve this. But, now it's time to look out for yourself. A good definition of love is giving your heart to someone else and trusting them enough not to break it. Well....guess what she did... Post here when you need to vent, when you need to get stuff off of your chest.
Blastoplast Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 I take it you're pretty young, I don't know your story but you clearly deserve better than what she gave you. Some people are just cold and not fit for committed relationships. Once a cheater, always a cheater, IMO. Of course there are always exceptions -- but once somebody cheats throw all trust out the window, and I couldn't love somebody I don't trust. You deserve better than what she gave you, just focus now on keeping yourself happy. I don't always advise NC, but in cases of cheating it's best 99% of the time. Sorry to hear she broke your heart, and getting over it isn't easy, but know that there HAS to be a woman out there that will love you for who you are and give you a 100% commitment. *And as far as why people cheat? IT could be multiple things: they want something new, they can't commit, they're confused as to what they want in life. None of these are justifications for it, but that seems to be why it happens.
Author tusharsolanki Posted July 13, 2012 Author Posted July 13, 2012 I strongly recommend that next semester, make sure you don't have classes with her. You say that she looks happy and you're nothing more than an after thought. Yet, a couple of days she's sending you texts. She's just putting on a good front. And you didn't deserve this. But, now it's time to look out for yourself. A good definition of love is giving your heart to someone else and trusting them enough not to break it. Well....guess what she did... Post here when you need to vent, when you need to get stuff off of your chest. yeah.. i'l definitely try to change my course/timings or something.. she had requested and actually made me enlist in the same time slot as her.. and all this happend roughly around 1 and half month back. can u imagine that?? i mean why show all the care and possessivness if you are already cheating your guy?? unbelievable. I take it you're pretty young, I don't know your story but you clearly deserve better than what she gave you. Some people are just cold and not fit for committed relationships. Once a cheater, always a cheater, IMO. Of course there are always exceptions -- but once somebody cheats throw all trust out the window, and I couldn't love somebody I don't trust. You deserve better than what she gave you, just focus now on keeping yourself happy. I don't always advise NC, but in cases of cheating it's best 99% of the time. Sorry to hear she broke your heart, and getting over it isn't easy, but know that there HAS to be a woman out there that will love you for who you are and give you a 100% commitment. *And as far as why people cheat? IT could be multiple things: they want something new, they can't commit, they're confused as to what they want in life. None of these are justifications for it, but that seems to be why it happens. i am 24. so yeah.. kinda young. i havent thought abt a women out there who is just for me.. but if she is there i would love her just as much, maybe even more.. i am that kinda guy.. i just thought that it isnt possible for any one to cheat a guy who literaly loves you, like you havent seen before and is ready to do anythng for u.. maybe that wasnt enuf for her..
rayne05us Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 I know you're in a lot of pain right now, but this will get better if you want them to. Right now you're feeling so many burtd of emotions and it's hard to control. Try to find things that will control your emotions so you feel more like yourself. Do the things your normally do, like the gym, or going to see your buds. Any sort of familiarity will help so much. Hopefully you will gain some perspective on it, and you'll see one day that you deserve better than this. I know it's hard to see that right now, trust me I do... You will have to work through some of your emotions, that is part of the process, but when it gets unbearable or you want to be pulled out of it, reach out to a friend or family etc.. and when you want to contact her, choose to do something positive for yourself instead. Good luck champ!! 1
Author tusharsolanki Posted July 13, 2012 Author Posted July 13, 2012 rayne - i'v got a few friends who are tryng to get me to a better state.. unfortunately whatever they say makes no difference to me.. thats how shattered i am.. i realy wana get out of this but the past intensity of my love makes it harder.. but hopefully in a few weeks time i'l be able to ride it out.. thanx a lot for the support.
rayne05us Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Yeah it's gonna feel like ***** for a lil bit, but this is normal and maybe you can tell yourself that. This is a normal state to be in with someone that means alot to you and it is to be expected. Try to imagine yourself being happy again....I know it sounds crazy, but it works it really does. Try to envision yourself and what you did to make YOU happy. Remember you were a perfectly happy, confident, great guy before her and you are getting back to that, it's just going to take some time and some effort to do so....you'll def be much stronger after this. That's one thing you have to remember, times like these aren't meant to cause us pain or sorrow, but to help us learn and help us become stronger people and to helps us appreciate the beautiful things in our lives. 1
Author tusharsolanki Posted July 14, 2012 Author Posted July 14, 2012 i keep thnkng abt her.... her face seems to be evrywhere... i dream abt her wen i sleep... all the moments we had coming to me as memories... i get up cryng and deppressed.. what do i do to stop all this??
SeventhFloor Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 I really empathize with you because I've been going through the same thing. My EX girl is a cheater and a liar, and she led me on far too long. I gave her everything; we had an 8-year plan laid out. I doubt she even REMEMBERS the 8-year plan we made only a few weeks before our break. She ditched me for some guy who was going behind my back trying to screw her. These feelings right now are pretty normal. You are PHYSICALLY addicted and experiencing withdrawals from her. Time will heal that, as will heal your heart. The best way to heal is just to not talk to her at all, because talking to her will resurface all of your emotions. I was happy yesterday, at my friends house, having a good time, after about 1 week NC, maybe a few days more. She only CALLED my FRIEND, and I just KNEW it was her from the way he was talking, and I swear it set me back like 3 weeks. Don't let it get to you like that. Time, my friend.
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