tenspoons Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Every time I hear a girl talk about an ex that abused and disrespected them, I can't help but look at them like they are out of their head for even thinking about going out with someone like that. It's always the nice classy girls that pick *******s as boyfriends too, and reject the quality men. I'm not talking about rejecting a pathetic "good boy" needy guy, I'm talking about a gentlemen who shows honor and dignity, and who is also hard working. Then shortly after I hear about a girl who had a bad boyfriend that verbally abused them to the point of tears, and holding them against their will, here they are sitting right in front of me fooling around with a guy who isn't any better than their last boyfriend. Like he is a jailbird, an *******, or completely disrespects women and doesn't hide it. What the **** gives? Why do women even bother with guys like that? It's just setting themselves up for disrespect and hurt in the future and they are blind to it. It just looks retarded to me. Like they didn't learn from their mistake. There must be something I'm missing here...
ThaWholigan Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 (edited) Date a bad girl "Bad Boys" have a knack of knowing how to make themselves sexually attractive to women. Other times, they already are because they are naturally good looking. Sometimes, they abuse the push/pull rule. Multitude of reasons why, but a lot of women will go with their emotions, and sometimes being a "gentleman of honor" may not make a woman have the emotional "rollercoaster" she may want/need to feel attracted and turned on. My guess really......... But yeah, date a bad girl - sometimes they don't mind a gentleman . Edited July 13, 2012 by ThaWholigan 1
FitChick Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 It's what they are used to and they feel they don't deserve better. 1
MrCastle Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 There are many reasons. -low self esteem -they're bad themselves -they like the cockiness/dominance of the bad guy -it's a phase most women go through at some point in their life You can tell a lot about someone when you look at the people they dated. 2
truth_seeker Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 The mystery. The danger aspect. It's exciting to them. I would say most younger women go through this phase but as they get older, and want to settle, they start looking for the "safe" guy. 2
Shaun-Dro Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Every time I hear a girl talk about an ex that abused and disrespected them, I can't help but look at them like they are out of their head for even thinking about going out with someone like that. It's always the nice classy girls that pick *******s as boyfriends too, and reject the quality men. I'm not talking about rejecting a pathetic "good boy" needy guy, I'm talking about a gentlemen who shows honor and dignity, and who is also hard working. Then shortly after I hear about a girl who had a bad boyfriend that verbally abused them to the point of tears, and holding them against their will, here they are sitting right in front of me fooling around with a guy who isn't any better than their last boyfriend. Like he is a jailbird, an *******, or completely disrespects women and doesn't hide it. What the **** gives? Why do women even bother with guys like that? It's just setting themselves up for disrespect and hurt in the future and they are blind to it. It just looks retarded to me. Like they didn't learn from their mistake. There must be something I'm missing here... You need not concern yourself with the whys of what women do. I think it might be better to just find one you can mess around with and be done. It will make your life much easier. That's what real men do, anyway. 1
WonderKid Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Just next them. Not all women like those guys, but if they do then that means they're unstable themselves. Its a phase.
fishtaco Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 The type of women that are into bad boys can be split into two categories: - Damaged ones. These ones seek out unhealthy relationships. Don't get into LTR with these women. They will make your life miserable even if you manage to keep them. - Ones that haven't learned their lessons. Most women by default find bad boys appealing. As they get older, some of them learn their lessons. But not all of them. Sure, there are some that are naturally not into bad boys. But they are rare. I'd say the most common group of women that are not into badboys are ones that have learned their lesson. As for why they like bad boys, lets not talk about the damaged ones. It's because the bad boys have something that the women find attractive, and they can achieve this attraction effortlessly. It's like when a person is rich/famous, s/he can be a bitch/jackass and there will still be people hanging around them wanting to be their friends.... Attractive guys can AFFORD to be bad, and women still orbit around them. So it takes a very disciplined individual to not be bad. Attractive AND disciplined? You'll find men like that extremely rare. And just to clarify, by attractive I mean the whole package, not just the looks. Women are a lot more complicated when it comes to deciding exactly what constitutes being "attractive". I don't know their formula, in fact, they don't even know their formula. So it's not that women want men that are bad. It's that they want men that are attractive, regardless if they are good or bad. Good/bad is irrelevant.
lover4721 Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Odd, I have the same exact issue. I also listened to "The Power of NOW" and the author said that most women want drama, like ThaWholigan said. They want drama in their life so they can feel 'alive.' But, sometimes that will start to wear off, like any other drug and it won't give them that drama feeling...
mysteryscape Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 They do, I've listened to young guys talk about this. I think it's the counterpart of the bad boy thing. The crazy woman thing probably has to do with a sense of mystery, plus danger (with the irrational hope of being the special one to avoid the latter). It tends to go with eroticism, no? I myself know this syndrome well from my own experience. Eventually, I learned to ask myself one or two basic questions: "Does she actually, really like me? Is she actually interested in me? (rather than am I interested in her)" If not, she instantly gets demoted about 10 steps, no matter how attractive she may seem. I've found it does wonders for my mental health.
WonderKid Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 OR in most cases they feel that they can change the guy. Change him into being at least decent but knowing deep down that bad side won't be controlled.
ColoredBlack Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Abuse and manipulation goes a long way. Some women say they dont find it attractive but i think some women do. 1
mortensorchid Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 I have said this before, but I will say it again because it needs to be said about this subject until people get it. Lord knows it took me a long time to understand it as well, but I think I finally did not too long ago. Women are attracted to Bad Boys because of what we go through as children. As children, girls tend to be disciplined more than boys are, as children as well as teenagers. It it ok for boys to act out, and others just say "Oh boys will be boys". If girls did the same things (get fall down, stupid drunk, crash cars, beat up their SOs, etc.), they are disclipined more than boys are, both by parents, society at large, and even law enforcement. We think that we have come so far in terms of equality, but we really haven't when you think about it. We are still clinging to familiar old double standards. So as adults, women are attracted to the Bad Boy because they are really acting out their own needs and wants to be bad that they missed out on. I hope women outgrow these things, but many do not. I understand the appeal, don't get me wrong. Bad Boys are more fun than a barrel of monkeys, they are usually torrnados in the sack, and keep life exciting. But I'm a grown up now. It's going to get old very fast the next time he gets into a fist fight, throws chairs through windows, and is calling for bail money. I would advise the women who are attracted to them (who are actually closeted Bad Girls) to go out and raise some hell on their own time, but they rarely do. Some will get it out of their systems, but many unfortunately will not. That's my take on it. Hopefully that will help you understand how and why, but as to making women see the error of their ways and making an actual change about it is another. 1
ColoredBlack Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Well like I said in another thread what is hard for me to take is how women spend years with these abusive or just arsehole bad boys and then when with decent guys seems like they can take them or leave them. So they are in love and addicted to bad boys and then with good dudes its like theres little attraction so they dont care? How awesome. 1
Badsingularity Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Most women are attracted to things like strength, fearlessness, confidence, and assertiveness. These "bad boys" have these traits. Develope these traits and keep the good ones you already have and you will have no problem attracting women. Also, if you do this you will actually be in high demand as this is the type of guy that most women are looking for. 4
WonderKid Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Most women are attracted to things like strength, fearlessness, confidence, and assertiveness. These "bad boys" have these traits. Develope these traits and keep the good ones you already have and you will have no problem attracting women. Also, if you do this you will actually be in high demand as this is the type of guy that most women are looking for. Strength doesn't have to be broadcasted but you can be a good guy and have that. There's a thin line between fearlessness and just utter stupidity Confidence, many people confuse being confident with being a jerk and its not the case Assertiveness can be 50/50 but I agree assertiveness can work.
Oncehadluv Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 i smell envy is the real question here is - why are chicks playing me and gravitating to guys who take more risks?
WonderKid Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 I don't envy about it. I just laugh. Because the chicks I know that prefer those guys, they're in for a shock once they hit 30 or have a child before then. But to me I see it happen even now. Like back in my HS days, there were some chicks that dissed me for real! I was pissed but moved on. Forward 7 yrs later and those same chicks either: have kids, got fat, still doing the same dumb stuff, getting played still. But I run into them and its different. They're spitting game at me now. What a turnover. I don't make a lot of money. I have no kids and still in school. I have my own place. And may I add most of these chicks are still living with their parents. Its crazy!
Oncehadluv Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 I don't envy about it. I just laugh. Because the chicks I know that prefer those guys, they're in for a shock once they hit 30 or have a child before then. But to me I see it happen even now. Like back in my HS days, there were some chicks that dissed me for real! I was pissed but moved on. Forward 7 yrs later and those same chicks either: have kids, got fat, still doing the same dumb stuff, getting played still. But I run into them and its different. They're spitting game at me now. What a turnover. I don't make a lot of money. I have no kids and still in school. I have my own place. And may I add most of these chicks are still living with their parents. Its crazy! ok so your the whiteknight, understood. 1
WonderKid Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 (edited) More of a black knight imo Edited July 14, 2012 by WonderKid
Necris Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 its all about attractiveness everyone is ignoring the elephant in the room, if a guy is attractive or charismatic he can get away with alot more because her mind is being clouded by how "hot" he is or something like that. While a nice but unattractive guy can't get away with anything and from the get-go women already do not like him. Same thing works with guys a woman with a body like a goddess and a face like an angel that delivers mind blowing sex could get away with alot of things most men wouldn't tolerate from a less "hot" woman. 1
johnlucas Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 (edited) Every time I hear a girl talk about an ex that abused and disrespected them, I can't help but look at them like they are out of their head for even thinking about going out with someone like that. It's always the nice classy girls that pick *******s as boyfriends too, and reject the quality men. I'm not talking about rejecting a pathetic "good boy" needy guy, I'm talking about a gentlemen who shows honor and dignity, and who is also hard working. Then shortly after I hear about a girl who had a bad boyfriend that verbally abused them to the point of tears, and holding them against their will, here they are sitting right in front of me fooling around with a guy who isn't any better than their last boyfriend. Like he is a jailbird, an *******, or completely disrespects women and doesn't hide it. What the **** gives? Why do women even bother with guys like that? It's just setting themselves up for disrespect and hurt in the future and they are blind to it. It just looks retarded to me. Like they didn't learn from their mistake. There must be something I'm missing here... Frustration is the result of Not Knowing. When you know how the machine works, you are no longer frustrated. Instead, you simply go through the steps 1, 2, 3 & make the machine work. (Think of your grandma or grandpa trying to figure out how to program the clock on their VCRs to get it off that flashing '12:00AM') The reason you're asking these questions is because you don't know how the machine works. Instead of dwelling on this sticking point of confusion, dedicate yourself to figuring out what works & what doesn't objectively. Use intuition, run tests, if all else fails perform trial & error. Look for what works universally & document it. After a series of discovering what works you will have a diagram, you will have instructions on what steps to follow. Once you have those instructions, simply follow through & execute. Human beings are not rational beings. Because of human beings always wanting to be what they are not, there is the STRIVING to be rational. With this, we expect all human beings to be rational. But how the human machine works has been shown, IS shown, & WILL BE shown to be irrational. In YOUR more rational evolution, use this power to map out the irrationality of your fellow human beings. In this case, use this reason to figure out what are the real motivations for female behavior. Don't get attached to expectations of morality from them, don't get attached to what is said by them, look at what they DO. THEN look at what DRIVES them to do what they do. Map out all details great & small. Once you have mapped this out, figure out how to insert yourself into this game & gain the benefits of the play. The only reason human beings have to think on & figure out things is because our intuitions are faulty. The highest power is to be able to accurately sense things immediately & instinctively. So we have to use the lower power of reason & logic to map out what our intuitions may not instinctively sense. One more thing: The way we use Language influences the way we Perceive things. Lose certain labels (such as 'bad boy') & be ready to redefine or newly define terms that support your discoveries. When you think only in terms of 'nice guy' & 'bad boy' you could be oversimplifying the material at hand & be led into the wrong conclusions. You need ACCURATE definitions of a phenomenon in order to explore that phenomenon. Instead of expecting women to follow the moral judgments you hold close to heart, see them objectively in all aspects of their behavior—whether beneficial or detrimental. Human 'morals' are actually tenuous at best & are really a response of one power dominating another power forcing the lesser power to subjugate itself to greater power's demands. In other words people are responding to power rather than a true sense of right & wrong. That's why people always do wild & crazy things when they don't think no one is looking or they don't think they will be held accountable for it. Your question here is just the beginning & I made this post to help you get off this groove in the record. Don't just sit there & wonder why. Take action & really figure out how this machine works. It is a lie that women are more complex than men. Everything in this universe has an answer—even if we're not yet equipped with the tools to discover that answer. John Lucas Edited July 14, 2012 by johnlucas
kaylan Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 (edited) Oh jeez....did it ever occur to some of you that many women arent dating bad boys, and youre only assuming she used to because shes shiit-talking her ex? My ex made me look like a sack of crap to a couple of her friends back during the early stages of our breaking up. One of her co workers was super bitchy to me because of it. Sure I wasnt the nicest guy during our rough patches, but I wasnt some bad boy douche bag. Realize that when many people talk about their exes, youll much of the time only hear a one sided super negative version of what that person was. Im sure if my ex told only the negative stuff about me to some new guy, that Id sound like a bad boy. Edited July 14, 2012 by kaylan 1
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 As someone that married an abusive and controlling man [at a very young age mind you] I can say that it is more or a learning phase. They charm you and you feel a sense of need due to them being so protective, and they are *******s that usually are funny so you ignore the ******* part ad see them as funny instead. In my case I married the guy and after time started to see he wasn't as funny as I thought and just an *******. By that point a woman is so emotionally involved that getting out is VERY difficult. He did a lot of things right though, and things ended amicably. He was a pretty bad husband though. I did it though, and to this day I am still grateful that I got out when I did and also that I DID go through it. It has opened my eyes and truly helped me figure out what type of man I DO want to spend forever with. Sure, I was young and probably stupid, and people won't be able to understand why I stayed as long as I did unless they have been through it too, but hey, I learned my lesson. Live and learn... live and learn. 2
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