Getting her back interested in me

[carson101]

So this is going to sound lame but I have been talking to this girl who lives long distance from me for about 2 years. A couple of months ago after we had been talking almost everyday I made arrangements to go visit her. Shortly after I booked my trip she stopped coming online to talk to me for about a week. It just so happens that she was graduating from college and moving during that time, but I still felt like she could have checked in with me. Well needless to say I overreacted and started sending emailing her what I now realize were desperate sounding messages and she didn't respond at all. Finally she responded to a text saying she was just busy and didnt mean to ignore me. But after that it hasn't been the same and she still doesn't talk to me like she used to. I apologized several times for sounding desperate and the fact that I had booked a trip to finally meet her in person made me panic when she stopped talking to me. So I know my messages freaked her out. Weve exchanged some funny texts back and forth but were still not talking like we were. I asked her if she still wanted me to come visit and she said she wants to see me but it freaks her out. My trip is in a month. What do I do? Not contact her for a week or two and then try again? Keep contacting her as a friend? I think she still wants to meet me but I think I screwed up by overeacting to her not talking to me, even though that is something I would never do after someone books a trip to see me. Thoughts?

Edited July 13, 2012 by carson101

[january2011]

To take some pressure off, re-frame it as a vacation. Find out what activities and events there are and book a few. Book your own accommodation and don't stay with her. Don't put pressure on her to meet you at the airport or to spend all her free time with you. Arrange a coffee date for the second day that you arrive and go from there.

 

I suspect that she is just scared and taking your relationship to another level requires her to accept that this is "real" now. Give her some space and time to process what's happening. And whether or not she actual wants this. If she pulls out at some point then just go ahead and have your holiday. However, I'd also take it as a big dealbreaker if she doesn't meet you at all.