SeventhFloor Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 (edited) That she lied, cheated, and disrespected me. Its bad enough she was saying, "I want to work on our relationship," when seeing, flirting, kissing, and sleeping with this guy. Its bad enough it took her 5 days after our break to sleep with him, when she said the same day that she would never do that (all while hugging me, kissing me, telling me she loves me), then email me lying to me but telling me how she felt empty with him and wanted to be with me, then go around the same day to sleep with him again. Its bad enough she continued to lead me on up until the day they were together, when I asked her from the very start, "If you don't want to be with me - please let me go so I can move on." It took her two weeks to commit to this guy, and actually, it was ONE week between the FB switchover of in a relationship with me to in a relationship with him. Its bad enough that their anniversary is the same exact day as ours was, which is the same day as my birthday. So why does she act like I am the bad guy? Why does she run around saying she was unhappy with me (when before our break, she was very clear in how happy and loving we were, even through our problems), and she is so happy with him? Do her friends not see through that? They see that she committed to him RIGHT away, and was sleeping with him the second she "got out." So why does she have to lie to her friends and family, turning them against me like I am the cold-hearted, mean one? Why is it that in our relationship, when I asked her to stop talking to her exes, she goes "They are good people - I have no feelings for them, I can't lose their friendship," but when this guy, who pretended to be friends with me but really went behind my back to steal my girlfriend, when he tells her to stop talking to me she does? When we were still together he would take her out on dates. She would say they were just friends, to HIM, and he would still get jealous when she would text and call me. She told him to leave her alone so her and I could figure out our relationship and instead of leaving her alone, he was relentless in wanting to take her out every day! She lied about everything. She was cold-hearted and dropped me like I was nothing, continued to lead me on, and jumped straight away into a committed relationship with him. So why does she act like I am the bad guy? Why am I the one who is blocked and ignored? Why can't her friends see through this? In fact, why do I even care what her friends and family think? Edited July 13, 2012 by SeventhFloor
KatZee Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 (edited) When you know the answers to these questions, please, let me know. Just know you're not alone in this. My ex pulled the same crap. Was telling me he loved me, didn't want to lose me, wanted to work on our relationship. Meanwhile he was behind my back badmouthing me to his ex, cheating on me with his ex. He also pulled that crap saying that his ex had been his best friend for so long and he wasn't going to stop talking to her and that he wanted her friendship and that I had nothing to worry about she was just a friend. MEANWHILE HE WAS OUT SCREWING HER. He was a liar, and he put up a phony front, he never had any intention of working on "us" he would just blow smoke up my as$ and tell me what I wanted to hear. He took from me in every way possible. Emotionally, mentally, physically. He always took for granted my kindness, appreciation, generosity. It was as if he just EXPECTED me to go out of my way for him day in and day out. And forget about all the good I did for him, if there was ONE THING I did that "irked him" or "rubbed him the wrong way" forget it. He acted as if I was the most horrible person on the planet. Criticized me up and down, told me what he didn't like about me. Told me so many times throughout our relationship he didn't even know if he wanted to be with me that he wasn't happy, and then in the next breath would tell me he didn't want to "throw what we had away." But then again put NOT one single ounce of effort into our relationship. Meanwhile I killed myself bending myself so far backwards to change who I was as a person, adapt to his life, change into the person he wanted me to be. He never loved me. He loved some fantasy version of myself he had in his head. When I didn't fit into that mold he'd emotional abuse me and play the ignore game. He'd act like I was nothing. Avoided me, ignored my calls/texts, was cold, and then after being so inconsiderate, so cruel, so condescending, he would have the audacity to flip it on me and make it out that I WAS the one who was so bad to him and that's why it made him act that way. I was always on eggshells with him. Always wondering what the hell I would do on any given day to make him irritated or annoyed. I was always insecure and paranoid he was leaving me. I never felt I had his full love and support. He would let his friends disrespect me and then would DEFEND THEM!!! Telling me that they had been around longer than I had, and they were "allowed" to act that way and I wasn't. He then dumped me and threw me out of his life like nothing even though he was saying "he loved me" and "wanted to be friends b/c what we had was amazing." I know there are lies going around his friends/family because people have dropped me on FB without saying a word. I've done nothing for almost three years but support him, encourage him, have his back, appreciate, care for, compromise for, sacrifice...and so on and so forth. He then out of no where texted me to have a nice life and to lose his number. OUT OF NO WHERE. I was in NC for 2 months at that point, and he was acting like I had done something to him. Forget people like this.... we're not the ones with the problem. THEY ARE. There is something so fundamentally wrong with these people and they will never be truly happy in their own lives. Edited July 13, 2012 by KatZee
CopingGal Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 She sounds very dysfunctional. Try not to worry about what her friends or family think. Sorry that happened. Just stay away from her. Completely remove her from your life and don't have contact with her, her friends or her family. Just wipe them out of your life. I know, easier said than done, but I think it's what you need.
Author SeventhFloor Posted July 13, 2012 Author Posted July 13, 2012 This guy went behind my back, whispering into her ear. She told him to leave her alone because he was confusing her and it was affecting our relationship, so instead of doing that he started buying her tickets to concerts, taking her to dinner, etc...and she let him. A week later she tells me how she is in LOVE with him and would do ANYTHING for him. Now, no doubt, part of their deal is to have no contact with me. Am I wrong in feeling like that is complete scum? She says she is so happy with him. She committed to him after two weeks. Just like that, moved on. We broke up and 3 days later he was telling her how he wanted her to move in with him. How he's never loved anyone like her before (they dated in highschool, many years ago), and how he's not going to take his new job offer so he can spend more time with her. I want her to feel the regret and guilt that she should, but I feel like she never will because she's too distracted with him. She's too happy with him. My friends tell me that she will be back, a relationship that moved that fast is DOOMED to fail, especially how they started. But I'm on the fence...I don't know what to believe.
KatZee Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Whether or not they are doomed to fail is a moot point. Right now they both have their respective heads shoved so far up each other's as$es that they can't see clearly. These people are not capable of long term happiness and I kind of doubt they feel regret and remorse the way mentally stable people do. Continuing to worry about this is going to make you crazy. Just know that she's a broken individual, there's something very large missing inside of her and this is how the rest of her life is going to go.
KatZee Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 My friends tell me that she will be back, a relationship that moved that fast is DOOMED to fail, especially how they started. But I'm on the fence...I don't know what to believe. Uh... who the hell cares if she comes back. Would you even WANT her back?! If the answer is yes, you really need to step back and do some serious soul-searching. Ask yourself why you have such low self confidence, and why you lack respect and love for yourself. No one with even one ounce of self-respect would take back a person who treated them the way she treated you. I would NEVER take my ex back. Even if he came around professing his love, and was on one knee with a 12 carat diamond ring. The trust is gone for him, he's treated me like crap for far too long. I know I can do SO MUCH better than him.
Chi townD Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Let this crazy chick go! Be happy that she's gone. And you know what? Not your problem anymore! Sooner or later, she's going to try to put you into the friend zone after a period of time has gone by.
Samilia Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 My opinion on her about running around telling people how unhappy she was with you is that she is justifying her actions. She probably know it's "so so' to say the least. She sure is free to do whatever she wants, but I see a lack of respect when she plasters her new relationship all over facebook, she knows how you feel, it's sad. Cowardice is what comes to my mind when she played games with you. Can't tell you straight up that she's leaving you. Might have tried to keep you hanging just in case it didn't work with the other guy too. I wouldn't want her back. Cheater, liar, and so on. Your call, if there is ever a call to be made.
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