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Posted

after how many dates do you tell someone you possibly have herpes?

i wouldntthink the first few, but i dont plan on having sex for awhile, just older and not important and had enough of it from 21-41, im looking for someone to like me for me and go out and have fun

i think i found a guy finally, but the only problem so far is he wants to see me almost everyday and I am not used to that! at all!

the majority of my adult life when im "talking" to a guy i usually only see them 3 or 4 times a month! so this is new to me! i mean my last boyfriend was 7 years ago! but to me thatr really didnt count b/c he was much younge rthan me(15 yrs) and he cheated on me!

since then all the men i dealt with havent really been a boyfriend, i guess a friend with benefits package deal, not what i wanted and most didnt last long(simpy b/c i found out they were lying when they said they wanted a "relationship" but didnt act like it!)

so thata the main reason i am waiting prob 3 months or until i know he is the right guy b/c i want the next guy i have sexwith to be my last!(as long as its good!) lol

Posted

What do you mean 'possibly have herpes'? Do you or don't you?

  • Author
Posted

I had something come up about 2 years ago but waited too long so when the dr saw me they was nothing to "swab" to test,

then after a trip to hersheypark and mayntrips to pools i got cold sores on my leg, still nothing able to test

so Idont know for sure

Posted

Go get a blood test.

  • Like 1
Posted
Go get a blood test.

 

Those blood tests are generally useless in her situation.

 

 

Were she sixteen, or something, the evidence of Herpes in her bloodstream might be significant and thus noteworthy. Into and beyond her 40's, well, 75-80% of everybody has it in some form, and thus the blood test doesn't help to clarify very much.

Posted

Possibly have herpes?

 

First you better find out before you start giving out false info.

Posted
Damn.... and I thought gold-diggers and attention-whores were the (realistically) worst thing that I had to watch out for.

 

You surely already know someone with herpes. 1 in 5 American women and 1 in 6 American men have genital herpes.

Posted
Those blood tests are generally useless in her situation.

 

 

Were she sixteen, or something, the evidence of Herpes in her bloodstream might be significant and thus noteworthy. Into and beyond her 40's, well, 75-80% of everybody has it in some form, and thus the blood test doesn't help to clarify very much.

 

Right, and there is no test that detects the virus, only the antibodies.

Posted
You surely already know someone with herpes. 1 in 5 American women and 1 in 6 American men have genital herpes.

 

No one that's told me.

Now i'm gonna be looking at everyone like they might have the herp.

 

Thanks alot.

Posted
Those blood tests are generally useless in her situation.

 

Were she sixteen, or something, the evidence of Herpes in her bloodstream might be significant and thus noteworthy. Into and beyond her 40's, well, 75-80% of everybody has it in some form, and thus the blood test doesn't help to clarify very much.

 

Right, and there is no test that detects the virus, only the antibodies.

 

A blood test can tell you if you have antibodies for type 1 (oral) or type 2 (genital). Antibodies mean you've been exposed to it at some point, but it doesn't necessarily mean you'll ever have an outbreak.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

Id say tell them after youre sure sex might happen soon.

 

Another time table is telling them once you feel an emotional connection starting. You want to tell them at the start of this, because if they decide they dont want to deal with an STD, it makes it easier to deal with them moving on.

 

PS - Get bloodwork done to find out if you have an STD

Edited by kaylan
Posted

There are dating websites specifically for people with herpes and other STDs. If anyone knows they have something like that, you'd be better off joining one of those websites.

Posted
No one that's told me.

Now i'm gonna be looking at everyone like they might have the herp.

 

Thanks alot.

 

Chances are that includes you.

57.7% of the US population is infected with HSV-1 and 16.2% are infected with HSV-2.

Posted

^Thank god all my bloodwork came back clean last week. Im gonna live in a bubble now lol

  • Author
Posted

wow! i didnt know that! about the age info! yea im almost 42

and i know about 8 people, 3 from high school and 2 of my best friends that have it, but i didnt know it was contagious

when i went to urgent care for a sore on my leg, it was 1 then spread to about 6 within 3 days! he told me that i could have gotten it from the seat at rides at amusement park or the pool!

wow!

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