hinatticus Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 (edited) Check my original thread for details, sorry I don't know how to link. Short story... Im 33, shes 26, together 4.5 years, broken up for 5 months, have a 2 year old, my anger was her main reason for leaving, she doesnt want to reconcile(right now), she's not dating anyone, she moved out, I've been in counseling. So for the last few months I thought I was making strides with her. Going to park, beach, playing rockband, teaching her how to drive etc. Although she's adamant that we're over. She can handle being friends, but she knows I can't. I still love her like crazy. Anyway today I told her about a song I want her to learn(she sings). I told her I was practicing it on my guitar. She texts back saying that she wanted to come by today to practice it. It's her day with our son so she has no real reason to come over other than to hang out. So I bought us some food and drinks and we had a blast. Her friend texts and asks her to go out tonight. My ex asked if it was alright I take my son for the night and she'd take him Saturday. I showed that I was upset but I still said sure. I was upset because when we were together, a friend of mine has a buddy who separated from his wife; I was disgusted when the wife asked her ex to babysit while she goes out. I thought my ex and I agreed on that and that's why I was upset. My ex sensed I was upset and lost it. The next hour and a half were a blur to me. I was so confused why she was so mad. She started telling me I shouldn't be doing all these nice things for her, we're broken up, she just wants to be friends, she doesn't want me to have expectations, she thinks it time for more space(even tho she wanted to come by today), she says its been 6 months and im still trying to get her back(its only been 5 months), she gave the relationship everything she could, she thinks I'm being nice to get her back. I don't get it. Where did all of this come from. Was she seriously upset that I brought up my friend's friend? So I'm going into deep lc mode. I have to see her Saturday morning for a bit then again on Wednesday. Usually we've been hanging out a bit, but I think I need to give her space to cool off. Any suggestions? I'm really not feeling so good right now. Edited July 13, 2012 by hinatticus
Philosoraptor Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 I think the best thing you can do for yourself is have as little contact with her as possible. She's going through the grieving process as well and seems to be easily triggered still. 1
Author hinatticus Posted July 13, 2012 Author Posted July 13, 2012 Thanks, I agree. I thought she was letting go a bit of her resentment, but I guess It crops up every once in a while. It just hurts so bad because we were getting along nicely for the last couple of weeks. She's actually initiated hanging out(although with my son). I guess I should let her be for a few days.
magneet Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Thanks, I agree. I thought she was letting go a bit of her resentment, but I guess It crops up every once in a while. It just hurts so bad because we were getting along nicely for the last couple of weeks. She's actually initiated hanging out(although with my son). I guess I should let her be for a few days. have a look at these, they might help.. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/84894-guide-second-chances http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/81399-no-contact-q-you-ls-newbies
Author hinatticus Posted July 13, 2012 Author Posted July 13, 2012 Thanks magneet. I've read those when I first joined, but I figured since we have a child my situation is a bit different. Also I screwed up really bad causing her to leave. She didn't get bored or find someone new. It's been 5 months and she's still single. I've taken the approach that months/years need to go by before she sees any changes in me. Since we have to have contact I've been practicing being kind towards her and this is where it's brought me-she's opened up a bit. I'm still confused as to what happened last night, but I will give her space for a bit. She texted me this morning saying she was sorry about last night and that she hadn't slept and she's still upset about us not being able to be what the other person wants. Let her be.... Give her space.... Give her time...
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