Els Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Okay, so as I was queueing up alone at the mall today, I saw this guy next to me with a Diablo 3 t-shirt. I really wanted to talk to him, because 1) I wanted to know where to get one! It isn't common around these parts, and 2) I don't know many other people in this area who play Blizzard games and it'd be awesome to make a new friend. So I thought I'd talk to him about it, then I recalled the numerous threads I'd read on LS about guys having a girl be friendly to them and misinterpreting that as hitting on him, and all sorts of bitterness/awkwardness ensuing when they find out that it was indeed a misinterpretation. So I... didn't talk to him. My bf wasn't around so I figured that'd make the potential for misinterpretation much greater. Good decision? Bad? I feel like I missed out on an opportunity for a gamer buddy, but meh.
january2011 Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 I probably would have asked him where he got the t-shirt from, but I probably wouldn't have tried to turn him into a potential gamer buddy. Asking about the t-shirt, on its own, seems harmless to me. But inviting further contact (to game) is the grey area and seems much more subject to the interpretation that you're hitting on him.
denise_xo Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 When I am in similar situations and decide to open conversation, I often make a point of mentioning my husband in the first couple of sentences. That usually frames the intention of the message well. So, in your case, "my bf and I are really into gaming so I was wondering if I could ask you where you got your t-shirt..." etc.
Snakechammah Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 If I were you, I'd totally ask him. I'm a gamer too and when I see something that ignites my passion, I'll eagerly get more info. As long as you approach him with a platonic, generic sense of self, it should be fine. There are numerous ways to maintain platonic friendliness (unless you're attracted to him then you can't fake it!)... it really depends on how you approach him. If you are not attracted, there should be no come-hither signals. He can't possibly misinterpret it as being interested. Facial expression is important. To give an aura of platonic-ness, keep a straight face. Be less expressive, no eyebrows raising, no staring into the eyes, keep the eye-contact friendly and less intrusive. Maintain a distant body language, but keep it friendly. Think of the t-shirt in your head - nothing else, and then do the asking/interviewing (lol). People receive the signals you give out. In the case of flaky girls (which clearly, you are NOT, lol), they do give out signals that are desperate for attention - thus the guys pick up on these and ultimately, the whole experience drags to become a flaky story. It's the intention of the moment. If a girl wants the guy's attention (whether to boost their ego, or they genuinely like them), it transmits unconciously into the atmosphere. It's not rocket science. If you maintain emotional distance during the questioning, it will come off as platonic. Good luck!
Author Els Posted July 14, 2012 Author Posted July 14, 2012 Good advice, guys. I'll try that next time it happens, though as this is the first time I've seen one in 2+ years, I doubt that'll be any time soon.
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